Man Caught Having Sex With A Bush…Not Pubis Mound Bush, But Shrubbery...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by teehee, Jul 31, 2015.

  1. teehee

    teehee Friend Of The Friendless VIP

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    Man Caught Having Sex With A Bush:eek::eek:
    You can't get freak-nasty with your foliage, people.:eek::eek:

    [​IMG]
    This is what happens when you elect a bush. For sex.

    A Connecticut man is suspected of getting freak-nasty with the foliage in his yard, according to the Connecticut Post. Wallace Berg, 81, was completely naked Monday in his Stratford yard when a neighbor witnessed him allegedly "humping" a bush.:eek::eek:

    When the neighbor confronted him -- as anyone would do upon seeing a strange, naked man sexing his shrubbery :eek:-- Berg reportedly “stopped the indecent behavior, covered himself with a grill cover,:eek: apologized to him and then went into the house,” police told the Connecticut Post.

    The neighbor had taken some video of the bush-league behavior and gave it to cops, who charged Berg with public indecency and breach of peace. He was released after posting a $10,000 bond.

    Berg didn't immediately respond to calls for comment from The Huffington Post.

    Sex with inanimate objects has almost become an American pastime. HuffPost Weird News has reported on dozens of men who have taken joy rides with bicycles, or gotten raunchy with rafts and hell-bound with helicopters.:eek::eek:

    Edward Smith, of Washington state, claims to have had sex with more than 1,000 vehicles, including his favorite, the helicopter from the 1980s TV hit "Airwolf."o_O:eek::eek:

    [​IMG]
    "I'm a romantic," he said in 2013. "I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change.":eek::rolleyes:o_O:confused:
     
  2. teehee

    teehee Friend Of The Friendless VIP

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    "I'm a romantic," he said in 2013. "I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change.":eek::rolleyes:o_O:confused:

    Perhaps he's also a cheapo romantic…No dinner, no drinks, no candies, no flowers…Just getting jiggy with his machines...
     
  3. sz1122

    sz1122 Well-Known Member

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    WOW, never thought of this. I may take a trip to the woods this afternoon
     
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  4. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

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    When are we going to stop blaming Bush?
     
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  5. goldtopper

    goldtopper Well Known Heterosexual Gold

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    He must go apeshit at the sight of a Georgia O'Keefe painting.
     
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  6. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

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  7. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP Gold

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    Fuck bush!
     
  8. XXXXX

    XXXXX Well-Known Member

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    Seems like he has very low standards...

    Let's see how well he does with a cactus -
     
  9. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

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    at least trim it back to a landing strip
     
  10. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    Leaves gently blowing in the breeze with a come hither rustling against the bare branches. The dark trunk peeking from behind the loose foliage. The sweet scent of dripping sap oozing from freshly peeled bark. The faint and inviting colors of dusk surrounding the lovely shape of it's god given dimensions. The promise of relaxation, contentment, rejuvenation and a fulfillment of the senses calling from the intertwining comfort of it's embrace.

    If we are forced to endure all that is Caitlyn, perhaps we can go easy on a man who is clearly in love with a bush.

    [​IMG]
     
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  11. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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  12. Joeyjoejoe

    Joeyjoejoe Well-Known Member

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  13. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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  14. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

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    just doing a little organic fertilizing would be his defense
     
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  15. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

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    Who knew you were such a wordsmith, BC! :up:
     
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  16. Snotty

    Snotty My Snothand be strong!!! VIP Gold

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    81 and still getting erections? He deserves an award!!!
     
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  17. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    Bushwhacking
    Bushwhacking?
     
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  18. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    Maybe he is in love with the bush and the bush makes him happy.
     
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  19. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...lets look at the bright side, at least he wasnt smitten by rose bushes.
     
  20. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    This thread really delivers, btw.
     
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