Man Caught Having Sex With A Bush…Not Pubis Mound Bush, But Shrubbery...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by teehee, Jul 31, 2015.

  1. teehee

    teehee Friend Of The Friendless

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,361
    Likes Received:
    19,219
    Man Caught Having Sex With A Bush:eek::eek:
    You can't get freak-nasty with your foliage, people.:eek::eek:

    [​IMG]
    This is what happens when you elect a bush. For sex.

    A Connecticut man is suspected of getting freak-nasty with the foliage in his yard, according to the Connecticut Post. Wallace Berg, 81, was completely naked Monday in his Stratford yard when a neighbor witnessed him allegedly "humping" a bush.:eek::eek:

    When the neighbor confronted him -- as anyone would do upon seeing a strange, naked man sexing his shrubbery :eek:-- Berg reportedly “stopped the indecent behavior, covered himself with a grill cover,:eek: apologized to him and then went into the house,” police told the Connecticut Post.

    The neighbor had taken some video of the bush-league behavior and gave it to cops, who charged Berg with public indecency and breach of peace. He was released after posting a $10,000 bond.

    Berg didn't immediately respond to calls for comment from The Huffington Post.

    Sex with inanimate objects has almost become an American pastime. HuffPost Weird News has reported on dozens of men who have taken joy rides with bicycles, or gotten raunchy with rafts and hell-bound with helicopters.:eek::eek:

    Edward Smith, of Washington state, claims to have had sex with more than 1,000 vehicles, including his favorite, the helicopter from the 1980s TV hit "Airwolf."o_O:eek::eek:

    [​IMG]
    "I'm a romantic," he said in 2013. "I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change.":eek::rolleyes:o_O:confused:
     
  2. teehee

    teehee Friend Of The Friendless

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,361
    Likes Received:
    19,219
    "I'm a romantic," he said in 2013. "I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change.":eek::rolleyes:o_O:confused:

    Perhaps he's also a cheapo romantic…No dinner, no drinks, no candies, no flowers…Just getting jiggy with his machines...
     
  3. sz1122

    sz1122 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2015
    Messages:
    265
    Likes Received:
    796
    WOW, never thought of this. I may take a trip to the woods this afternoon
     
    Jayla, Pelicanman, LaserT and 2 others like this.
  4. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2010
    Messages:
    15,280
    Likes Received:
    23,039
    When are we going to stop blaming Bush?
     
    LaserT, IfTheyOnlyKnew and 1Vegasgirl like this.
  5. goldtopper

    goldtopper Well Known Heterosexual Gold

    Reputations:
    82,523
    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    21,034
    Likes Received:
    57,646
    He must go apeshit at the sight of a Georgia O'Keefe painting.
     
    Jayla, Pelicanman and IfTheyOnlyKnew like this.
  6. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    6,785
    Joined:
    May 12, 2012
    Messages:
    25,036
    Likes Received:
    22,240
  7. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP

    Reputations:
    8,787
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2012
    Messages:
    25,243
    Likes Received:
    26,112
    Fuck bush!
     
  8. XXXXX

    XXXXX Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    711
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2014
    Messages:
    4,249
    Likes Received:
    12,332
    Seems like he has very low standards...

    Let's see how well he does with a cactus -
     
  9. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    May 1, 2015
    Messages:
    7,818
    Likes Received:
    10,979
    at least trim it back to a landing strip
     
  10. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2013
    Messages:
    3,619
    Likes Received:
    13,709
    Leaves gently blowing in the breeze with a come hither rustling against the bare branches. The dark trunk peeking from behind the loose foliage. The sweet scent of dripping sap oozing from freshly peeled bark. The faint and inviting colors of dusk surrounding the lovely shape of it's god given dimensions. The promise of relaxation, contentment, rejuvenation and a fulfillment of the senses calling from the intertwining comfort of it's embrace.

    If we are forced to endure all that is Caitlyn, perhaps we can go easy on a man who is clearly in love with a bush.

    [​IMG]
     
    AmishGirl, IfTheyOnlyKnew and smichal like this.
  11. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun.

    Reputations:
    8
    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    20,112
    Likes Received:
    37,149
  12. Joeyjoejoe

    Joeyjoejoe Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    25,688
    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2012
    Messages:
    6,853
    Likes Received:
    31,924
  13. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun.

    Reputations:
    8
    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    20,112
    Likes Received:
    37,149
  14. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    May 1, 2015
    Messages:
    7,818
    Likes Received:
    10,979
    just doing a little organic fertilizing would be his defense
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.
  15. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    163,276
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2013
    Messages:
    29,231
    Likes Received:
    72,607
    Who knew you were such a wordsmith, BC! :up:
     
    Shortwave98 and Bristol Chicken like this.
  16. Snotty

    Snotty My Snothand be strong!!! VIP

    Reputations:
    10,765
    Joined:
    May 13, 2012
    Messages:
    28,164
    Likes Received:
    20,974
    81 and still getting erections? He deserves an award!!!
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.
  17. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2013
    Messages:
    3,619
    Likes Received:
    13,709
    Bushwhacking
    Bushwhacking?
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.
  18. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

    Reputations:
    113,440
    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    32,919
    Likes Received:
    72,619
    Maybe he is in love with the bush and the bush makes him happy.
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.
  19. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    41,581
    Likes Received:
    40,973
    ...lets look at the bright side, at least he wasnt smitten by rose bushes.
     
  20. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

    Reputations:
    113,440
    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    32,919
    Likes Received:
    72,619
    This thread really delivers, btw.
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.