Man gets horse cock transplant

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Shithead, Sep 22, 2014.

  1. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    Florida Man Successfully Receives Penis Transplant From Horse
    Posted on August 3, 2014 by Raoul Stockton in Headlines, Health/Fitness, Science/Tech

    IZTAPALPA, Mexico - [​IMG]

    A man from Melbourne, Florida has received the worlds first-ever successful horse-to-man penis transplant in Iztapalapa, Mexico using the allograft procedure, which is a procedure in which the key components of organs are grown artificially. The news broke this morning as it was published in the Mexican newspaper ‘El Grafico.’

    The recipient of the transplant, which took place July 16th, Nicholas Waterbury, wished to remain anonymous at first, but was convinced by Mexican physicians that he would go down in history as the world’s first ever, animal-to-man penile transplant recipient, and that it could bring him great fame. Waterbury then gave El Grafico the approval to use his name in their exclusive front-page article.

    The procedure, which took place at El Calavero Medical Center and was successfully completed in just over nine-hours, was completed by Dr. Abelino Santiago, who specializes in organ transplants. Santiago adamantly stated that this was an unprecedented, groundbreaking operation.

    “The first human-to-human penis transplant was just in 2006, so this is very significant.” said Santiago.

    The worlds first penis transplant that Santiago referenced, which was indeed successful, was completed in September of 2006 in Guangzhou, China by Dr. Jean-Michel Dubernard. The recipient, a 44-year-old male, had lost most of his penis in an accident. The transplanted penis came from a 22-year-old male. Although the transplant was successful, the patient had the procedure reversed due to psychological trauma. According to records, that was the only successful penis transplant ever completed until Waterbury received his new penis. His transplant from a Campolina, a breed of horse common in the Mexican wilderness, and used by ranchers throughout Central America.

    Dr. Santiago explained to Waterbury that the odds of the procedure being successful and taking to Waterbury’s body was less than ten-percent. “We had our doubts, we believed that the chances that the transplant would take would be very small – but there was that small chance that we could accomplish a feat which had never been done before.” said Santiago. “We have made history, and Mr. Waterbury is recovering very nicely.” he said.

    Waterbury told the press he first considered the transplant after reading about Dr. Santiago successfully completing several animal-to-animal penile transplants. Having been ridiculed all his life for having a below average sized penis, he got in touch with the doctor and asked if it was at all possible to receive a transplanted penis from a horse, and have a fully functional penis.

    “He told me the chances were very slim that it would work, but I decided to try to be a part of history while possibly fulfilling complete personal satisfaction.” said Waterbury. “It has been two weeks, everything seems to work properly and when they tested it two days ago, I got my first erection. I am amazed, Dr. Santiago is a wonderful man.” added Waterbury.

    Being that the issue for Waterbury was the size, reporters naturally asked about the transplanted penis’ size, “Mr. Waterbury wishes to not disclose that information, but we can tell you that he is a very satisfied man,” said Dr. Santiago.

    Waterbury is sure to face a flood of news media upon his arrival back into the United States, which according to Santiago, will be about a month.

    “We wish to keep Mr. Waterbury under constant observation for at least the next thirty days, in which we will perform multiple tests on the functionality of the penis. When we are satisfied and certain he will have no issues, we will recommend that he can go home, however for the time being it is absolutely necessary to monitor the healing process.” said Santiago.

    Santiago added that some of the inner workings of the penis were modified using synthetic materials, allowing the procedure to be possible. “Without the allograft procedure, in which tissue is grown artificially, we would not have even tried. I contemplated even trying it at all, but after some research and meeting with my associates, we were convinced that it was indeed possible using the lab grown allograft. We are very pleased with the outcome, but we still have to keep an eye on Mr. Waterbury’s healing process, which has gone extremely well.” Santiago said.
     
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  2. CrucifiedAGT

    CrucifiedAGT He's Around VIP

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    A horse will ask for a me transplant.

    :rs:
     
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  3. BuffaloTom

    BuffaloTom Closed By User Banned User

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    How much do you think he ponied up for the transplant?
     
  4. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    as long as they install a fire hose winder so no one trips, i have no problem with this.
     
  5. BuffaloTom

    BuffaloTom Closed By User Banned User

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    This will probably be Howard's next vacation operation.
     
  6. killallposers

    killallposers VIP Extreme Gold

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    I hope that guy is now ok with being gay. Unless he doesn't masturbate. But we know he does.
     
  7. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    yea but he's getting one put on the other end.
     
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  8. Hersh

    Hersh Active Member

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    Anthony said it was fake
     
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  9. Divorce Chicken

    Divorce Chicken white punk on dope VIP

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    1Vegasgirl likes this.
  10. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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  11. 1Vegasgirl

    1Vegasgirl Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    Oh, yeah - I forgot Anthony talked about that a little.
     
  12. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    I'm think this is a farcical story
     
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  13. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Science education in our country is a disgrace.
     
  14. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    What does Ant know, beside, it's more interesting than another dead midget thread:hehe:
     
  15. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    Please tell me you don't really believe this
     
  16. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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  17. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    Empire News trying to be The Onion and failing
     
  18. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    it's more interesting than another dead midget thread:hehe:
     
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  19. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    ...but fooling idiots on the internet every day
     
  20. alittlebitcunty

    alittlebitcunty Well-Known Member

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    At least we're still the world-leader in satirical news articles.