Marcia Kuntz is one of the remaining 200 players at the World Series of Poker

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MutteringJohn, Jul 12, 2014.

  1. MutteringJohn

    MutteringJohn Well-Known Member

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    The main event of the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas is going on now. It's a $10,000 buy-in with first place of $10 million dollars. ESPN televises several hours of the WSOP every year. Out of the 6800 or so players that started Marcia Kuntz is one of the remaining 200. I'm praying she goes far as they will have to mention her name frequently. If she knocks you out of the tournament can you stand up and say Fucking Kuntz. I can imagine a disgruntled player saying some Kuntz made the final table. ESPN is in a funny position. They always publicize the last woman standing at the World Series of Poker. There are only a few woman left so they have to talk about her on the telecast. They will be showing episodes of the tournament in the late Summer and Fall this year.
     
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  2. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    WOW!
     
  3. Murcielago

    Murcielago Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

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    [​IMG]

    Any relation?
     
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  4. MutteringJohn

    MutteringJohn Well-Known Member

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    What do Dick Pole, Rusty Kuntz, Wilbur Wood, and Johnny Wockenfuss have in common? Their names all make me crap my pants from laughing so hard. How would you use "Rusty Kuntz" in a sentence?...


    As a long time card collector, I've come across some of the most ridiculous names ever. Every time I buy a collection, I sort through and put the funny ones to the side. Honestly, I'm glad they exist…I mean who wants to root for a Joe Smith or Bob Jones? So every time I come home absolutely trashed from a good night of debacle, I bring out the cards and laugh until I puke, literally. Be prepared to piss your pants…



    WHAT A BUNCH OF DICKS

    I'm sorry but I giggle anytime I hear someone with the name Dick. A long long time ago there must have been a guy named Dick who was just such a jackass, that the name took on new meaning. I feel bad for the Dicks who are actually good guys, cause to me they are still dicks.

    THE NUMBER ONE DICK

    Dick Pole

    Boston Red Sox (1973-1976)

    Seattle Mariners (1977-1978)

    He's no ordinary Dick with that last name. If I had the misfortune to be named Dick, I would definitely want this kickass name.

    Used in a sentence -

    "Ride that Dick Pole ladies."

    THE RUNNERS UP

    Dick Bass, Dickie Thon, Dick Green



    NOW THAT'S JUST DIRTY

    Following the Dicks are a bunch of guys who I wish they would name cities after or at the very least stripclubs. Could you imagine the Human Resources problems there would be if these guys worked in an office (some of them probably do have sales jobs these days)?

    THE WINNER

    Rusty Kuntz

    Chicago White Sox (1979-1983)

    Minnesota Twins (1983)

    Detroit Tigers (1984-1985)

    Hands down the best name ever. So many jokes, so little time.

    Used in a sentence - "I was feeling a bit lonely so I drove down to the corner but all I saw was a bunch of Rusty Kuntz. I went home instead and broke out the lotion."

    THE RUNNERS UP

    Buzz Nutter, Woody Held, Pete Beathard, Boobie Clark, Pete LaCock



    I SWEAR YOU WERE A GARBAGE PAIL KID

    Not sure what their parents were smoking or if they just had awesome senses of humor, but with names like these, who can't love them.

    THE WINNER

    Wilbur Wood

    Boston Red Sox (1961-1964)

    Pittsburgh Pirates (1964-1965)

    Chicago White Sox (1967-1978)

    Alliteration at its finest, plus we get the word "wood" in there. Insert Beavis & Butthead laughs.

    THE RUNNER UPS

    Britt Burns, Sixto Lezcano, Steve Stonebreaker, Randy Ready, Clay Kirby, Pat Putnam, Minnie Minoso, Dick Drago, John Henry Johnson



    YOUR NAME IS WHAT???

    Some guys' names aren't perverted or even rhyme. They are just ridiculous and awesome at the same time.



    THE WINNERS (2-way tie)

    JOHNNY WOCKENFUSS

    Detroit Tigers (1974-1983)

    Philadelphia Phillies (1984-1985)

    What's all the Wockenfuss about? The bushy haired, thick mustached Wockenfuss just screams 80's pornstar. He is what every man aspires to be. Someone please make me a Johnny Wockenfuss t-shirt.

    Shooty Babitt

    Oakland Athletics (1981)

    His real name was Mack Neal Babitt. Even that is pretty damn funny. But somehow, someone nicknamed him "Shooty." I have no idea what it means or where it came from and for once I am extremely disappointed in the Internet.

    THE RUNNER UPS

    Rod Scurry (hope I didn't catch the Rod Scurry), Champ Summers, Vida Blue, Mickey Klutts, Johnnie LeMaster, Bake McBride, Doc Medich
     
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  5. HORSETOOTHED

    HORSETOOTHED Well-Known Member

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  6. MutteringJohn

    MutteringJohn Well-Known Member

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    What would happen if she walked into a male gay bar and and the owner told her we don't allow any Kuntz in this establishment.
     
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  7. Rupert Pupkin

    Rupert Pupkin That Ass is Attached to Daniela Lopez Gold

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    Marcia Kuntz

    .............What is the name of my wife's divorce lawyer.


    [​IMG]
     
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  8. The Snork

    The Snork Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    Imagine the possiblity of any legal firm she partnered in : Kuntz, Dix, and Balls. or maybe Lick, Kuntz, & titz, . How about Shaver, Kuntz and Poke?
     
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  9. MutteringJohn

    MutteringJohn Well-Known Member

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    Sad news, Marcia Kuntz got knocked out of the World Series of Poker. With the elimination of Kuntz at the World Series there is one "Ho" left. Maria Ho is the last woman standing. I am not making this stuff up. If there was justice in this world Kuntz and Ho would be the last two players. The fans would be divided, some of them would root for Kuntz and the others would root for Ho. The headline in USA Today would be Kuntz beats Ho for $10 million dollars

    McCorkell KO's Kuntz

    Michael Aron opened to 80,000 and Marcia Kuntz moved all in from the hijack for 1,035,000. With the action on Craig McCorkell, he moved all in and Aron quickly folded.

    Kuntz: [​IMG][​IMG]
    McCorkell: [​IMG][​IMG]

    With Kuntz dominated, the [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG] board would ensure Kuntz hit the rail to leave just two females remaining; Maria Ho and Mikiyo Aoki.

    [​IMG]


    Maria Ho, meanwhile, outlasted every other woman who entered the tournament, and she will continue to Day 6 with a short stack of 435,000. Impressively, Ho pulled off the same feat in 2007, when she cashed 38th for $237,865. She’s an accomplished tournament player who has tallied more than $1.5 million in live winnings, but Day 6 will see the obstacles stacked high in her path.

    [​IMG]
     
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  10. scoobyla

    scoobyla Well-Known Member

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    Well now we know what Jackie's screen name is.
     
  11. Mr Vengeance

    Mr Vengeance Ladies love cool V. VIP

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    I wish that Ho would show me her Kuntz....
     
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  12. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Ho is hot.
     
  13. Stag

    Stag Well-Known Member VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
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  14. unclefreddy

    unclefreddy Well-Known Member

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    I met Ho and then Kuntz and then finally The Clapp
    [​IMG]
     
  15. Stag

    Stag Well-Known Member VIP

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  16. Dump Button

    Dump Button Former Mall Security Guard

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  17. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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    So when her Jew great grand parents got off the boat at Ellis Island, the officer said, "look at all these cunts"! And they thought what a great Yiddish name Kuntz!


    [​IMG]
     
  18. NotMyBro

    NotMyBro VIP Extreme Gold

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  19. Macro57

    Macro57 Well-Known Member

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  20. Maklershed

    Maklershed Well-Known Member

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    W ENNNNNNNNNN B C
     
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