WTF Meet the wife who insists that FARTING in front of your husband improves your relationship

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MutteringJohn, Dec 10, 2015.

  1. MutteringJohn

    MutteringJohn Well-Known Member

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    Beth, take heed.

    One newlywed insists that women should feel free to let one rip in front of their significant others - in fact, she says, it makes for a more open and honest relationship.

    Jessica Gentile, 30, was totally embarrassed the first time she farted in front of her now-husband, when the two were just a few dates in. But the New Jersey resident says she doesn't regret the stinky slip, and thinks other women should feel more comfortable passing gas in front of the men they love.

    'No one should have to hold in any part of themselves,' Jessica wrote in an essay for Cosmopolitan.com. 'Acknowledging a natural human function is an essential part of life.'

    Most women would be loathe to pass gas in front of a boyfriend, particularly in the early stages of a relationship.

    They'd rather shift uncomfortably for hours after a burrito dinner than 'fess up to their normal bodily functions, and thinking about the first time they'll have to use the bathroom for more than a minute or two fills them with dread.

    Jessica used to be one of those people, too. Which is why on the third date with her now-husband, she was mortified when she had 'a bout of flatulence I couldn't quite control took hold'.

    They'd gone out for Mexican food and were back at his apartment, cuddling on the couch, when she accidentally let one loose. Embarrassed, she went to the bathroom - where the situation got a whole lot worse.

    Jessica ended up clogging his toilet, and spent the next ten minutes frantically trying to fix the flusher before her now-husband knocked on the door to check up on her.

    With no other option, she admitted what had happened, bracing herself for the worst. But it didn't come.

    Her guy just laughed and called the super, even gentlemanly saving her more embarrassment by telling him it was his roommate who caused the mess. He also comforted her with a hug, clearly not repulsed enough to cancel plans of a fourth date.

    'While we hadn't yet slept together, that moment forged an intimacy that was even greater,' Jessica says. 'I experienced a level of comfort and relief previously unknown in any romantic partnership.'

    Now, seven years on, they're recently married and joke openly about farts and other bathroom functions. They'll tell each other, 'I feel a big one coming on', 'You might not want to go in there for a while', and 'Don't even try blaming it on the cat' when either one stinks up the house.

    Jessica explains that being open and honest makes a relationship healthier, and it's silly to deny 'the most basic component of human biology'.

    She also takes issues with the fact that women, in particular, tend to keep mum about their gassy habits because of society's expectations that 'ladies don't fart'.


    'It's time to break down the stereotypes, stigmas, and shame that accompany gastrointestinal biology so we can normalize our bodies,' she says. 'And I'm now proud to do that, even if it's just within the confines of my personal relationship. Shifting social standards have to start somewhere, why not at home?'



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  2. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus!

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    id smash
     
  3. Droog

    Droog Well-Known Member VIP

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    Does she also shit with the door open?
     
  4. BrulesRules

    BrulesRules Just grab 'em in the biscuits VIP

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    is that HAL??
     
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  5. Birddog

    Birddog Well-Known Member

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    She is wrong.
     
  6. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus!

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    :jj:
     
  7. Birddog

    Birddog Well-Known Member

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    They both look like they can do some serious damage to a toilet.
     
  8. WillieX

    WillieX Well-Known Member

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    She looks like she just let one rip in that last photo.
     
  9. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    What a sweet story. :nocheer:
     
  10. YodaQuiversStern

    YodaQuiversStern Turn and face the strange

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    My husband almost killed me with one of his farts last night, in public!
     
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  11. 800dollarwine

    800dollarwine Tastes no different than shitty Boone's Farm

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    Fucking gross. Be a lady.
     
  12. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member Banned User

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    shes a pig but id fuck her
     
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  13. Kool

    Kool Well-Known Member

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    if a mistake it's ok, but on purpose? go to the fckn bathroom stinkface
     
  14. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    Omg I can't stop laughing at her first date story. :cwl:

    @IfTheyOnlyKnew
     
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  15. greenchiclets

    greenchiclets Well-Known Member

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    My wife lets em rip in front of me. Then again, we haven't fucked in months.
     
  16. rolltide

    rolltide Well-Known Member VIP

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    If she's that open to farts maybe if she's outfitted with a discipline mask with a rubber hose connected to her hubby's ass where the only air she's allowed is his gas might get her off this farting thing.
     
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  17. WUT7272G7C

    WUT7272G7C Space Chimp

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    These two look like they live out of a cardboard box.
    Farting is the least of her worries.
     
  18. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    Farts are funny. :dontknow:
     
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  19. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    I'd fuck but I'd wear a cloths pin on my nose.
     
  20. SlinkyNeckStern

    SlinkyNeckStern High Pitch Mike Lookalike Gold

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    I can barely tell that guy is a big fucking fatso because his strategy of covering his double chin with a pubic beard worked so well.