Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Chigs, Jan 4, 2014.
And I have the runs
Don't let her give you a rim job
You poor bastard. Shitting your pants on a date is pretty much a deal breaker.
Fuck that. If you want a future with her, she needs to see you at your worst. Shit in her mouth. If she calls you again, you can marry her, if not, it wasn't meant to be.
This is sound advice.
drop ass at her house
No first date farting contest for you.
When I was single I would pop a few imodium every single night I would go out just to be safe.
Maybe she has the shits too. You should ask her. It is a great way to break the ice. If she says no, say "Just kidding!" and if she says yes, you can comiserate. Great bonding tool.
I'm pretty much a dating expert.
Just give her a Dirty Sanchez
That's for amateurs. For the serious mud piles, you need the Immodium
She's probably on the Chelsea Handler fan network spin off site right now complaining because she's meeting a guy she really likes and she's got the Hershey squirts as we speak.
You'll both spend half the night in the bathroom.
Wear a Depends, just in case.
Piledrive. It's your only hope.
Die Old Man!
Pull over and blow ass in some woods, so she knows yer rugged.