Miracles, Smiracles lol

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Mlaw, Apr 27, 2014.

  1. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    So as you may know, today in Rome two former Popes were canonized. For the uninitiated that means they were made Saints.

    In order to become a saint it must be demonstrated that the person was responsible for two miracles. Now, I don't know about you, but when I think of a miracle, turning water into wine comes to mind. Or maybe rasing someone from the dead. I also imagine that they would actually be alive and in the room or generally vicinity where the miracle occurred. :dontknow:

    But nooooooooo--

    John Paul's "miracles" are as follows:

    1) French nun Marie Simon Pierre, 47, said her symptoms of Parkinson's disease went away after she prayed to the Pope John Paul II three months after his death from the same affliction.

    2) After doctors said she had only days to live, Floribeth Diaz said she began praying to the late pontiff as she clutched a magazine cover baring his portrait.
    "I felt a deep sense of healing. I heard his voice say to me, 'Get up and don’t be afraid,'" she added. "I went to my husband in the kitchen and told him I was cured. I realized little by little the illness had been taken away."

    A slew of medical tests confirmed her recovery -- despite there being no medical explanation.

    John the XXlll--gets in with only one miracle, apparently because he was such a cool guy :facepalm:

    Sister Caterina Capitani, a Neapolitan nun who had endured 14 surgeries for a gastric hemorrhage. The sick sister was healed after relics from John XXIII were placed on the fistula on her abdomen. After that, Sister Caterina apparently saw a vision of John XXIII in her sickroom as she lay dying, and the papal ghost told her to get up, that she was healed.

    It's mind boggling to me, that this fairy tale bullshit is the lead story of the news
     
  2. zingger

    zingger They know! Gold

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    Fuck a pope.
     
  3. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    Fuck God and all U suckers who bow to him :coffee:
     
  4. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    agnostics, unite ! :derp:
     
  5. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    According to the Brain Aneurysm Foundation the mortality rate is around 40 percent.
     
  6. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    Survivors of sexual abuse by Catholic priests held their own briefing in Rome on Friday, against a backdrop of the photos of young children who were sexually abused during the time John Paul II was pontiff. “We were abused because John Paul II didn’t act,” Nicky Davis, a spokesperson for the Survivors Network of Those Abused By Priests known as SNAP told reporters. “We don’t’ believe it is saintly behavior to allow child abuse to continue for 27 years.
     
  7. zingger

    zingger They know! Gold

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    I think we're all miracles!
     
  8. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member Banned User

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    i got my saint cards for both of them at mass yesterday
     
  9. face palm

    face palm Well-Known Member

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    i told fat dan to add fresh parsley at the end of the cooking
    he said no, it goes in the beginning
    was I expecting a miracle?
    mlaw sometimes you just have to accept things
     
  10. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    Pedo baseball cards :wtf:
     
  11. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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  12. beatlejaws

    beatlejaws nowhere poster

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    Father Sarducci had the best line about saints. "This guy had 3 miracles to his credit. But, two of them were card tricks."
     
  13. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    No he didn't
     
  14. zingger

    zingger They know! Gold

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    That was terrible.
     
  15. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    well, fresh herbs go in at the end
     
  16. face palm

    face palm Well-Known Member

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    you seem like a salt of the earth kinda person :c
     
  17. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    I used sea salt tonight, I though of this nuthouse :jj: