As a companion to the Private Parts the Book: 20+ Years Later thread that I created a few days ago, I've revisited 1995's follow-up Miss America, to see how it holds up in 2015. (This was a much bigger undertaking than I expected, so I've cut a lot of content and am breaking this up into multiple posts. This is post 1 of 5.) THE DEDICATION Then: "I dedicate this book to my interns, all of them, the college students who work for free." He later writes: "If I want my next meal, there is a slavelike intern ready to fill my request." Now: In a November 7, 2014 hearing, U.S. District Judge Valerie Caproni [another woman judge!?!] quipped that, without Tierney's internship, "Howard Stern Show" staffers could have gotten their "own damn coffee," to laughter in the court. After a brief pause in a roughly hour-long hearing, the judge ruled for the interns. ON PUBLICLY ADMITTING YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE Then: Alison, the woman who says "she fell in love with him because he was always so funny," wants to celebrate her 40th birthday with a party for friends and family. "Parties are dumb," Howard says. "Have the fucking party. Just don't bother me with it." But Alison wants something special for her 40th birthday: "At the party, I want you to give a speech about me." Howard is irate. "YOU MUST BE FUCKING NUTS! ... You want me to get up in front of all your Long Island housewife yenta pals and confess my love? I'm not doing it!" Alison leaves the room crying. "I know I love my wife and I'm not gonna be publicly humiliated by admitting it! She should know I love her and that's final. Fuck her crying." He only concedes to participate after his mother calls and scolds him. But when the day comes, he's prepared nothing. To kick off his speech, he decides to have the room sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." He gives a very jokey toast to his wife before acquiescing to kiss her in front of their guests. He adds, "You know, Alison, now that you're forty, we'll take this marriage one year at a time. You're aging and I want to make sure you hold up. I don't want to get locked into anything long term." But it makes Alison laugh, and "nothing else mattered." Now: Divorced Alison five years later. Months later, he enters a long-term relationship with a 27-year-old model. The two profess their love for one another publicly at every opportunity -- including posting kissing photos on social media.