Mitch Hedberg quotes

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Dlist, May 27, 2012.

  1. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
    Funny fucker. So sad he his gone.
     
  2. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie Sultan of Sweat Gold

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  3. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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    I don't even know how I get away with it. I'm not even a member.
    (talking about eating a club sandwich)
     
  4. Limo Wreck

    Limo Wreck Aboard the great mothership Staff Member

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    Talking about a frog in a jar. " I wanna get a leaf and a stick, to recreate what hes used to"
     
  5. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef
     
  6. suckemnuckledus

    suckemnuckledus Well-Known Member

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    I'm so glad Kinkos is open 24 hours a day, just in case it's 2 in the morning and I need 2 of something!
     
  7. Walrus

    Walrus Active Member VIP

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    I think Pringles original intention was to make tennis balls... but on the day the rubber was supposed to show up a truckload of potatoes came. Pringles is a laid-back company, so they just said, "Fuck it, cut em up!"
     
  8. Walrus

    Walrus Active Member VIP

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    I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here.
     
  9. Frank Snotra

    Frank Snotra New Member

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    Rice is really a good thing to eat when you're in the mood for a thousand of something
     
  10. Walrus

    Walrus Active Member VIP

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    I saw a lady on T.V. She was born without arms. Literally, she was born with her hands attached to her shoulders... and that was sad, but then they said, "Lola does not know the meaning of the word 'can't.'" And that to me was kinda worse... in a way... ya know? Not only does she not have arms, but she doesn't understand simple contractions. It's very simple, Lola, you just take two words, you put them together, then you take out the middle letter, you put a comma in there and you raise it up!
     
  11. jackieavenger

    jackieavenger Well-Known Member

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    another great thread! my favorite hedberg joke

    [video=youtube;gWx6uA5aCrE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWx6uA5aCrE[/video]
     
  12. racerx

    racerx New Member

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    major under rated comedian. reminded me of a steven wright type.
     
  13. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    Hey man, when I was in college, Kinkos saved my life on more than one occasion. :jj:
     
  14. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    To copy someone else's term paper?:c
     
  15. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    Hee. No, usually to print out reports when my home printer shit the bed, which back then, happened regularly.
     
  16. mattyfishrip197

    mattyfishrip197 Well-Known Member

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    dufrane party of 5....paging dufrane party of 5