Muslim televangelist advises men to stop masterbating

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Shithead, May 27, 2015.

  1. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    What about women?


    Televangelist warns men who masturbate: Your hands will be pregnant in afterlife

    By News.com.au

    May 26, 2015 | 11:19am


    A Muslim televangelist has advised male followers to stop masturbating — because it will leave their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

    Turkish preacher Mücahid Cihad Han told viewers that masturbation was forbidden in Islam.


    “One hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights,” he said during his program on private television station 2000 TV, according to The Hurriyet Daily News.

    “If our viewer was single, I could recommend he marry, but what can I say now?”

    The self-styled televangelist made the astonishing comments in response to a viewer’s question during a May 24 show.

    The viewer said he “kept masturbating, although he was married,” including during his holy pilgrimage to Mecca, known as Umrah.

    According to The Hurriyet Daily News, a news source for Turkey and the region, the Quran does not make a clear reference to masturbation “and the authenticity of many hadiths is questionable.”

    Han, who has more than 12,000 followers on Twitter, was mercilessly mocked on social media after newspapers published his TV “fatwa.”
     
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  2. potroast

    potroast Well-Known Member

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    Yeah because those assholes aren't angry enough.
     
  3. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Spoon! Gold

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    I disagree with the turkish weirdo.
     
  4. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

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    we should drop porn and weed on those animals
     
  5. HypocriteHowie

    HypocriteHowie Well-Known Member

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    Never heard of Turkish hash? Don't know about porn but they got the getting high shit covered.
     
  6. RONNIE THE CLAW

    RONNIE THE CLAW Well-Known Member

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    ...and some lube too!
     
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  7. Mulletude

    Mulletude I'm Big In The Hate Club, Ya Know VIP

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    They hate us for our freedom......to choke our chickens.
     
  8. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    My right hand is gonna be barefoot and pregnant.
     
  9. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    I'm more concerned about going blind.
     
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  10. Kool

    Kool Well-Known Member

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    "don't masturbate just rape women" is their motto
     
  11. Outoftune

    Outoftune Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. Alisonsbankacct

    Alisonsbankacct Out to lunch.

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    Hate to burst everyone's bubble but I was raised in a Christian church that said the same thing

    Well, not that your hands would get pregnant, but that you were going to burn in eternal hellfire :dontknow:
     
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  13. CaptainFrank

    CaptainFrank Well-Known Member

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    you laugh, but why not... let those people who are stuck in the 5th century see what they are missing by showing them American culture..
     
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  14. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP Gold

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    What ya wanna bet that this jerk beats his meat daily?
     
  15. Tipsey Russell

    Tipsey Russell VIP Extreme Gold

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    there's an awful lotta stuff in the faiths of the world that you look at and snicker as they are silly

    the idea a human hand can carry a fetus to term post death is right up there on the snicker meter
     
  16. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

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    and goats
     
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  17. Slow

    Slow All The Pieces Matter DawgShed News

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    I knew I should have switched to righty once in awhile...

    [​IMG]
     
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  18. The Snork

    The Snork Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    "That is why Allah most merciful has provided us with goats."
     
  19. Captain

    Captain Alto, Blanco y Guapo Gold

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  20. MorningSong13

    MorningSong13 Well-Known Member VIP

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    If your hands are pregnant, can you park in those "expecting mothers" parking spots if you drive a stick shift?

    Not that I need ANOTHER perk to pumping off.
     
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