My ex girlfriend is trying to trick me into going out with a fat chick!!!

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Mark Mayonnaise, Aug 9, 2012.

  1. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    So a few weeks ago my ex, whom I haven't seen for a while, texted me and asked me to go with her and 2 friends to some pub crawl that's this Saturday. I was hesitant about agreeing and she insisted, saying what a great time it would be, and that I could stay at her house afterward, so I agreed. I know for a fact that her fat friend has a boner for me, but I want to see the ex, plus sex is pretty much guaranteed with her.

    So I texted her yesterday and asked if we were still going. She's like "Fat Friend 1 and Fat Friend 2 will be there, but I won't. I'm in Virginia, my Mom had a :quote: heart attack :quote:"

    But she still expects me to go

    :rolleyes:
     
  2. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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  3. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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    the duff is lonely
     
  4. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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    I think I would see how fat she is. and then probably fuck and throw it in goats face
     
  5. Porn Stache

    Porn Stache Active Member

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    You could have a threesome with both fat friends.
     
  6. Stevie

    Stevie Now go...Ohm.

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    Hey man, how old are you..?
     
  7. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Gold

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    Tell her you want to go for a pub jog and wait for them to cancel.
     
  8. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    :jj:
     
  9. B Stache

    B Stache is Bahindur Stachian

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    Strong point
     
  10. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    Hold on...wut? :scratch:
     
  11. Colon Cowboy

    Colon Cowboy Active Member

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    Speaking from experience....?
     
  12. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

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    So how was she?
     
  13. idiotbox

    idiotbox Looking for a dime and found a quarter. VIP

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    the two fat chicks will soon have heart attacks.
     
  14. keywordpk

    keywordpk Perpetual Geek Gold

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    Cancel! Run for your life!
     
  15. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Gold

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    Chriza gets a bonus and the fat chicks come flocking.
     
  16. BearShit

    BearShit BearShit + Tom Hardy = BFF

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    fat girls need love too
     
  17. Swayze

    Swayze Guest

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    You aint leavin that crummy apt
     
  18. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

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    I would have if the ex hadn't pulled a heel turn on me

    Best sex ever :tears:

    Heart attack :rolleye:
     
  19. Swayze

    Swayze Guest

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    She's a selfish prick
     
  20. Boss Ono

    Boss Ono New Member Banned User

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    Freud says: If THAT isn't being emotionally manipulative then my cigar is not just a cigar. :coffee: