My Friend's "Food Poisoning" Drama

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Tigger Please, Jun 12, 2015.

  1. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    45,551
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2011
    Messages:
    13,423
    Likes Received:
    8,347
    My friend seems to get "food poisoning" like 10 times a year. Every time she has stomach issues, she declares that she has food poisoning.

    The story always goes something like this, "I ate (whatever) and it must have been bad because as soon as I ate it I had (vomiting, diarrhea, whatever).


    Every time this happens I try to tell her that it doesn't happen as soon as you swallow something. Then she stomps her foot and gets upset that anyone disagrees.
     
    babybear and Westerberg like this.
  2. Westerberg

    Westerberg Feelin' like a hundred bucks 2010 OG

    Reputations:
    39,358
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2010
    Messages:
    31,736
    Likes Received:
    14,201
    Your friends all seem like drama queens.
     
    Summer likes this.
  3. Westerberg

    Westerberg Feelin' like a hundred bucks 2010 OG

    Reputations:
    39,358
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2010
    Messages:
    31,736
    Likes Received:
    14,201
    You need to be a...

     
  4. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ Well-Known Member 2010 OG Gold

    Reputations:
    160,468
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    48,282
    Likes Received:
    49,467
    @cum Rod Stewart
     
  5. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    45,551
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2011
    Messages:
    13,423
    Likes Received:
    8,347
    So tonight she says she ate an energy bar...already in my mind I am finishing the statement with "...and it must have been bad because as soon as I ate it I came down with food poisoning."

    I asked her if she went to the doctor to have it checked out. She said she didn't have to because she called her doctor and he diagnosed it over the phone. He's probably just so sick of her calling with the same story that he yesses her to death and tells her to take some Immodium
     
    Westerberg likes this.
  6. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    45,551
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2011
    Messages:
    13,423
    Likes Received:
    8,347

    That story has been around since I was a junior in high school
     
  7. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    469,185
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    110,616
    Likes Received:
    58,275
    Sounds like a huge faggot.
     
    Tigger Please and Summer like this.
  8. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Single VIP

    Reputations:
    45,455
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2011
    Messages:
    77,299
    Likes Received:
    28,069
    being friends with girls is exhausting
     
    Westerberg, Tigger Please and Summer like this.
  9. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ Well-Known Member 2010 OG Gold

    Reputations:
    160,468
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    48,282
    Likes Received:
    49,467
    No such thing as friends... just girls you haven't fucked yet
     
    NipplesAndToes23 likes this.
  10. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Single VIP

    Reputations:
    45,455
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2011
    Messages:
    77,299
    Likes Received:
    28,069
    thats true. I dated a girl a few times, she never gave up the pussy then just wanted to be friends. i said no thanks.
    i can only be friendy with a girl ive already fucked. thats just me
     
  11. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ Well-Known Member 2010 OG Gold

    Reputations:
    160,468
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    48,282
    Likes Received:
    49,467
    Things change as you get old, older... getting old sucks
     
  12. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Single VIP

    Reputations:
    45,455
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2011
    Messages:
    77,299
    Likes Received:
    28,069
    this happened 4 months ago. :facepalm:
     
  13. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    469,185
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    110,616
    Likes Received:
    58,275
    Gwarn No Pussy Getting 1
     
    P-B and NipplesAndToes23 like this.
  14. Summer

    Summer . VIP

    Reputations:
    207,358
    Joined:
    May 10, 2012
    Messages:
    16,895
    Likes Received:
    14,089
    Yeah, not food poisoning. Maybe she's lactose intolerant, or gluten sensitive or something else is causing her digestive issues. But there's no point in arguing with her.
     
    babybear and Tigger Please like this.
  15. Summer

    Summer . VIP

    Reputations:
    207,358
    Joined:
    May 10, 2012
    Messages:
    16,895
    Likes Received:
    14,089
    :jj: Truth
     
    Westerberg likes this.
  16. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ Well-Known Member 2010 OG Gold

    Reputations:
    160,468
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    48,282
    Likes Received:
    49,467
    Yeah, gluten, or maybe she's allergic to sea salt.

    Fucking hippies
     
    Summer likes this.
  17. NipplesAndToes23

    NipplesAndToes23 Former Vice Regent to the Bar POTY Gold

    Reputations:
    21,101
    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2010
    Messages:
    39,116
    Likes Received:
    27,597
    Sorry, need pics before I can give a shit.
     
    Summer likes this.
  18. Summer

    Summer . VIP

    Reputations:
    207,358
    Joined:
    May 10, 2012
    Messages:
    16,895
    Likes Received:
    14,089
    All my friends irl are guys. They are sooooo much easier, more fun, and kinder IMO.
     
    Tigger Please likes this.
  19. NipplesAndToes23

    NipplesAndToes23 Former Vice Regent to the Bar POTY Gold

    Reputations:
    21,101
    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2010
    Messages:
    39,116
    Likes Received:
    27,597
    And not ones that are out of focus or microscopic.
     
  20. Summer

    Summer . VIP

    Reputations:
    207,358
    Joined:
    May 10, 2012
    Messages:
    16,895
    Likes Received:
    14,089
    :jj: Fucken Texan!

    If the girl gets sick that often something is wrong.