My interview...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by queerface, Oct 6, 2015.

  1. queerface

    queerface Un-engaged Dyke

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    I flew into Indy for an interview yesterday. I've had the flu for the past few days.
    So, this am I got up and had horrible diarrhea. Par for the course.
    I spent the first hour of my morning shitting and getting dressed.
    I showed up for the interview and by the time I got to the office I was sweating like Nixon. My hair was soaked. All my precious time spent making my perfectly highlighted bob look sophisticated went flying out the window. I showed up looking like I had run through the sprinkler.
    I sat in a hot room with sweaty hair and gut twisting cramps discretely blowing my nose.
    I had to meet with three people. The first interview went on for 30 minutes, the second about 20' the last one lasted five.
    I can't even tell you what I said or what was said because I was so hyper focused on the fact that I could feel sweet dripping down my face.
    At one point while waiting for the next person to come in, I let out a quiet fart....and it made a suspicious bubbling sound. I ignored it.
    At the end of the interview, the receptionist took me on a tour of the office where people shook my clammy hand and stared at the dripping monster in front of them.
    The whole time I felt incredibly 'greasy' in the ass region.
    After saying my goodbyes I ducked into a rest room in the lobby to change into some traveling clothes. As I shucked off my dress pants I was hit with an overpowering wafting smell of shit.
    I sat my ass down on the hopper, grabbed a hand full of toilet paper, and wiped. The slickness that met my wad of toilet paper was alarming. I was not surprised to see the poop smears all over the paper. We're talking at least a five wiper. I had some wet ones in my luggage and I cleaned up. I balled my pants up into a ball and shoved them into the used tampon container next to the toilet along with my smeared panties.
    As I waited miserably out side of the building my car to pick me up, one of the people who interviewed me walked right by and made brief eye contact...and walked on while quickly averting his eyes. He did not say a word.
    I'm pretty sure that I won't be hired.
    As I sit here in Indy airport I can't help but think I made an impression, but I suspect they won't be hiring the sweating shit-smelling broad who darkened their door step today.
    I have another interview Thursday...where hopefully I won't be shitting my pants.
     
  2. JRoyle411

    JRoyle411 I want to live in a hamburger bun.

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    I want to laugh.....I really do......but I can't help but feel terrible for you. I am sure they could tell you were sick....so maybe you won some points just for showing up???

    I hope you have better luck on Thursday!!!

    [​IMG]
     
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  3. sternadamsapple

    sternadamsapple Well-Known Member

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    Sorry about that.....lesson for the day is never go on an interview while sick! Is it the same company on Thursday?
     
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  4. balloon knot

    balloon knot Well-Known Member

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    that's hot...............seriously, if your still ill thursday, see if you can reschedule, say you are ill and don not want to spread the flu. reasonable people will understand that
     
  5. DuckDong

    DuckDong Well-Known Member

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    Well at least you got to see the Indy airport and then shit on a plane.

    Meanwhile Beef is chasing kittens while high on wine in a 10 million dollar closet.... anyone still believe in a kind a jest God ?
     
  6. queerface

    queerface Un-engaged Dyke

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    No...thank Jesus
     
  7. Scarlett Ohara

    Scarlett Ohara VIP Extreme Gold

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    I hope you are feeling better and get the job on Thursday. Things work out :hug:
     
  8. Quality Control

    Quality Control dove

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    Sorry to hear that, GG, and I hope you feel better soon!
     
  9. Chicken Soda

    Chicken Soda Unknown Member

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    I hate this douche, but he may of been onto something.

    upload_2015-10-6_12-8-18.png
     
  10. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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  11. queerface

    queerface Un-engaged Dyke

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    Has simchal shown up yet?
     
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  12. vaporizer

    vaporizer Well-Known Member

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    #vile
     
  13. Bryce

    Bryce 2018 KOTY, The Bar Gold

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    Sounds like every morning at my place



    no ._.
     
  14. deadbeat

    deadbeat Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  15. ilovebacon

    ilovebacon Well-Known Member VIP

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    :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

    If you don't get the job, at least feel happy that you probably made them all sick. SILVER LINING
     
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  16. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    I'm sorry to hear about that. Until you got to the end of the story I was gonna say You never come off as badly as you think you do.
    That company sucked anyway!:hug:
     
  17. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

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    omfg:haha:all you can do is laugh:lol:
     
  18. EddyG

    EddyG Well-Known Member

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    So,there is a female version of me here? Just found this out. Good luck Gat girl. Who knowsmaybe cleavage and a noce smile would have helped. If GaryPuppet was interviewing you then for sure.
     
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  19. Just Me

    Just Me VIP Extreme Gold

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    Great writing GG... I was almost sweating w/ you while reading. That's all a nightmare, but good luck- you never know, they really may have liked you.
    And a highlighted bob? I pictured you w/ dark wavy Latina hair.
     
  20. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

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    they probably have the search narrowed down to a few canidates. imagine what your nickname is when they refer to you.