I flew into Indy for an interview yesterday. I've had the flu for the past few days. So, this am I got up and had horrible diarrhea. Par for the course. I spent the first hour of my morning shitting and getting dressed. I showed up for the interview and by the time I got to the office I was sweating like Nixon. My hair was soaked. All my precious time spent making my perfectly highlighted bob look sophisticated went flying out the window. I showed up looking like I had run through the sprinkler. I sat in a hot room with sweaty hair and gut twisting cramps discretely blowing my nose. I had to meet with three people. The first interview went on for 30 minutes, the second about 20' the last one lasted five. I can't even tell you what I said or what was said because I was so hyper focused on the fact that I could feel sweet dripping down my face. At one point while waiting for the next person to come in, I let out a quiet fart....and it made a suspicious bubbling sound. I ignored it. At the end of the interview, the receptionist took me on a tour of the office where people shook my clammy hand and stared at the dripping monster in front of them. The whole time I felt incredibly 'greasy' in the ass region. After saying my goodbyes I ducked into a rest room in the lobby to change into some traveling clothes. As I shucked off my dress pants I was hit with an overpowering wafting smell of shit. I sat my ass down on the hopper, grabbed a hand full of toilet paper, and wiped. The slickness that met my wad of toilet paper was alarming. I was not surprised to see the poop smears all over the paper. We're talking at least a five wiper. I had some wet ones in my luggage and I cleaned up. I balled my pants up into a ball and shoved them into the used tampon container next to the toilet along with my smeared panties. As I waited miserably out side of the building my car to pick me up, one of the people who interviewed me walked right by and made brief eye contact...and walked on while quickly averting his eyes. He did not say a word. I'm pretty sure that I won't be hired. As I sit here in Indy airport I can't help but think I made an impression, but I suspect they won't be hiring the sweating shit-smelling broad who darkened their door step today. I have another interview Thursday...where hopefully I won't be shitting my pants.