My new workout/diet regimen has led me to resemble Gimli, son of Gloin

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by A Succulent Chinese Meal, Oct 10, 2013.

  1. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Well-Known Member VIP

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    I'm doing a low calorie/low carb diet five days a week.

    I walk my dogs three miles a day five days a week.

    I workout six days a week for two hours and fifteen minutes total, half of that is cardio, and I use 10 pound weights.

    I tried on a dress last night and I look like I could kick anyone's ass with my powerful calves, solid as a fucking fireplug thighs, and delightful, mussular ass.

    Also, my biceps no longer fit in the one of the shirts I used to wear because I am so fucking buff.

    I just want to be willowy and languid looking and I am very upset about this.
     
  2. Xhorder

    Xhorder \m/ VIP

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    pics?
     
  3. Vyb

    Vyb serial chiller Gold

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    got that beard?
     
  4. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

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    Sounds like you need a pilates or dance workout....
     
  5. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    Satori just came.
     
  6. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

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    let's see the calves :coffee:
     
  7. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

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    bobtraw's
     
  8. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Well-Known Member VIP

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    Yes, pretty sure I can't bear children that wouldn't suffer from some massive endocrine problem.
     
  9. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Well-Known Member VIP

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    I absolutely detest cardio, though. What am I going to do? I could just starve myself and have muscle waste.
     
  10. Vyb

    Vyb serial chiller Gold

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    Can't get preggers? Nice.
     
  11. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Well-Known Member VIP

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    Tug on my beard.
     
  12. Lou Loomis

    Lou Loomis Feel the Gern

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    sounds like when I put a dress on my rottweiler one Halloween


    Congrats!
     
  13. Butcher

    Butcher ?

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    You should move to Oslo now
     
  14. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
  15. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    Oh
     
  16. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Well-Known Member VIP

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    It's pretty terrible.
     
  17. Lou Loomis

    Lou Loomis Feel the Gern

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    It's the new normal. I'm sure it's fine....
     
  18. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    Hello?
     
  19. Tigger Please

    Tigger Please VIP Extreme Gold

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    We need visuals! I'd settle for an artist's rendering at this point
     
  20. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Well-Known Member VIP

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    What are you talking about?