My pet is a DICK.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Slippy, Feb 8, 2014.

  1. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    Share your stories...............I need mack here for those pictures of his chewed up leather ottoman!

    I'll start.

    My dog is smart, for a fucking idiot. She unhinged her cage one night...........the back sliding glass door was left open for the night, just the screen shut.............when I woke up in the morning....that fucking dog had left muddy pawprints on the kitchen table, all the counters, the bathroom sink, all over the flooring and carpets - and had taken 3 unopened beers from a case sitting on the counter - blew through the back screen and chewed through the cans in the backyard. There was a loaf of bread and a container of dried pasta lost that night as well.

    I felt like Will Ferrel when I woke up and saw it ..... "I'm not even mad, I'm a little impressed". Except that I was mad.

    Dick.
     
  2. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Mediocre Negro Gold

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    Don't make your dog destroy your whole house in order to get a beer, moron.
     
  3. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Maker of Lists Gold

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    Craving the carbs.
     
  4. keywordpk

    keywordpk Perpetual Geek Gold

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    :munch:

    Elvis had ripped up some furniture before. And took off with a raw chicken breast once. Those two things stand out.
     
  5. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    Cool story brah :woah:
     
  6. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    Elvis :boohoo::nocheer:
     
  7. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

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    You sleep with the door open, in the middle of winter, in Canada??
     
  8. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    :giggle:
     
  9. MONK

    MONK The fuck? Staff Member Chimp In Charge

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    My beagle chewed the french molding around my fireplace 3 weeks after I moved into the house. The house was just built.

    #beagleisadick
     
  10. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    FYI....
    In California, that's just asking to get raped and killed and on the local news by noon the coming day. :coffee:
     
  11. keywordpk

    keywordpk Perpetual Geek Gold

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    We picked out a new little pup today and we bring her home March 15. :yay:
     
  12. VeeB

    VeeB I have a Full Member VIP

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    My dog was chasing a possum running on our fence three days ago. She tried to bank the turn and fell on her asshole, throwing her back out. She's on a bunch of drugs that give her horrible gas and diarrhea. She keeps sharting all over the house and it smells like the mens room at a fucking Yankee game here.
     
  13. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    Nixx ate a pound of raw bacon off the counter once, when I took a 3 minute break to go pee while cooking - then puked it all over the kitchen floor right in front of me.
     
  14. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    Hey Slippy! :hw:



    Swifty is a dick for always, always, always barking at other dogs. :facepalm:
     
  15. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    Congratulations! :woah::hug:
     
  16. Billy Brown

    Billy Brown Bigly VIP

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    Worst thing my latest dog has done was bust the back "storm door". He jumped against it when I was outside and totally blew out all the plastic. That will be replaced in the spring.

    Oh yeah, he also punched me in the face and snapped my glasses right in half. (those were VERY costly to replace)

    He chews the baseboards and I'm not fixing that shit until he is older. He is almost 1 y/o now and will consider him a puppy until he is 2 y/o. After that he better have his shit together.
     
  17. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    dick
     
  18. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP

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    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the barking........I got her one of those bark collars that sprays lemon at their noses when they bark - I kind of thought the shock one was a little extreme

    My house smelled like lemons - I think she liked the smell.

    dick
     
  19. Mack

    Mack Well-Known Member VIP

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    [video=youtube;4BlqaHhUxhM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BlqaHhUxhM[/video]
     
  20. Mack

    Mack Well-Known Member VIP

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