Never Forget: A 9/11 Tribute (To the Weight Loss of Robin Quivers)

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Benjamen, Sep 10, 2015.

  1. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    On September 11th of every year, we pay our respects to those we lost on that tragic day in 2001. And as a nation we collectively count our blessings that Robin Quivers wasn't in the Twin Towers that fateful morning, because we know in our hearts that she'd have never made it out of those tall, burning buildings alive, as fat as she was at the time.

    But it wasn't always this way. It took years before most of us stopped thinking of the fallen and the families left behind, and finally had the selflessness to ask the question: "What if Robin Quivers had been there?" Even after she dropped a staggering 70 pounds for the second time since 9-11-01, most of us were too blind to see the connection it had to the tragedy.

    No, it wasn't until 2010 -- almost nine years after the events-- when Robin finally decided to break her silence and share with the world the connection between her latest weight loss scheme in a 30-year history of weight loss schemes, and the single largest loss of life from a foreign attack on American soil. And she timed this shocking announcement to the announcement of her forthcoming book, which was to be a memoir and weight loss manifesto.

    A timeline:

    November 2001

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    Two months after 9/11, at a taping of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. In her book, Robin says that she was sick, almost disabled, barely able to get dressed or walk, and ready to die at this point in her life. Her body was falling apart, she confesses. It is eerily similar to what her doctors told when she was in her 20s, which she writes about in her first book:

    “As the doctor explained it, I was a mess physically as well as emotionally. The strain of all the fighting over the past year had sent me to the refrigerator, and the tension showed big time on my thighs. My pounding heart was caused by high blood pressure. The doctor told me that if I didn’t lose weight, stop smoking, and calm down in a month, he’d be forced to put me on medication that I would have to take for the rest of my life. When I got home, I was completely in tears. Here I was, not even thirty, and my body was falling apart.”

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    April 2004

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    After using the Master Cleanse diet (which she heard magician David Blaine talk about on the show), Robin dropped over 70 pounds by 2004. And she did a big, splashy interview with People magazine -- never mentioning 9/11 as a reason for her weight loss -- and swearing the weight was gone for good.

    April 2007

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    Whoops -- the 70 pounds came back. As Robin says in her second book, she didn't know how to eat when she wan't on the Master Cleanse. So she'd cleanse her body for weeks at a time, then gorge on cheeseburgers and ice cream. But despite being just as heavy (or heavier) than she was on 9/11, Robin -- now almost six years older than she was during the Twin Tower attacks -- somehow managed to spend her weekends jetting to California to be a non-disabled race car driver.

    April 2008

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    One year after following the Dr. Roni health program of green drink, infrared treatments in California and coffee enemas in bath tubs, Robin appears on The View to show off her 60-pound weight loss. She dresses as Batman, wearing a designer dress whose arms are for some reason attached at all times to the waist.

    April 2010

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    After signing the book deal for The Vegucation of Robin -- Robin reveals for the first time ever that her 2007 weight loss (and not her 2004 weight loss) was motivated by 9/11. She runs the New York Marathon that August.


    Early 2012

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    Robin does a photo shoot for The Vegucation of Robin. She has gained a considerable amount of weight in the 16 months or so since signing the book deal.

    Spring 2012

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    One of the last known photographs of Robin before she discovers she has a cancerous, grapefruit-sized tumor in her body. She disappears from the public eye for 16 months.

    August 2013

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    Robin returns to the public eye just in time for the much-delayed release of The Vegucation of Robin -- possibly at her all-time heaviest, and now wearing a wig. She makes the rounds on a few talk shows promoting her healthy body's triumph over cancer, which is not addressed in the book (which she's now promoting as a cookbook, and not as a weight loss manifesto). After two weeks or so, she resumes working from home.


    January 2014

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    Robin appears at the Howard Stern Birthday Bash, where she's treated to a shirtless lap dance and songs about wanting to fuck her.

    September 2014

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    Robin shows up to the funeral of Joan Rivers. Everyone in attendance is secretly surprised that Robin has outlived Joan.


    June 2015

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    Robin admits she's undergoing cryptotherapy -- a costly three-minute treatment that involves standing in a deep freeze chamber while temperatures plummet as low as -256 degrees Fahrenheit. Although Robin doesn't acknowledge that she's undergoing this bone-chilling procedure for weight loss purposes, cryptotherapy claims to torch up to 800 calories per session. It has all the markings of her past schemes to lose weight without moving.

    Please join me in honoring Robin on the 14th anniversary of the inspiration for her weight loss 8 years ago.

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  2. blindbella

    blindbella Well-Known Member

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  3. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    IF there was ANYTHING good to come out of this horrific day it was this...........



    Robin having to catch a ride home in Scott Salems car full of smoke cuz her driver told her to go fuck
    herself and find her own way home!
     
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  4. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    Their studios should have been in one of the towers. Then the show would have ended on a noble and heroic note instead of the pathetic mess it is now.
     
  5. GIRLY

    GIRLY OV

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    Brilliant!!!

    [​IMG]
     
  6. JessOnCrack

    JessOnCrack Check out my maniacal laugh! Banned User

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    Mantee's lives matter
     
  7. 1Vegasgirl

    1Vegasgirl Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    I had no idea about the crypthotherapy. How much weight has she lost?
     
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  8. GIRLY

    GIRLY OV

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  9. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    Girly, would you mind if i saved and used this gif? It is fantastic!
     
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  10. babybear

    babybear r.i.p 8/3/15, Wherewolf of AZ VIP

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    whatever she lost,she found again.
     
  11. GIRLY

    GIRLY OV

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  12. GIRLY

    GIRLY OV

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    GaryPuppet you are welcome to do anything!! (except touch me) You have given me so me pleasure!!
     
  13. Tish

    Tish Well-Known Member

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    That was great. #neverforget911robynlbs
     
  14. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    :(

    Not even a quick fondle? A mercy nipple tug?
     
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  15. GIRLY

    GIRLY OV

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    Tempting ................. I let you know
     
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  16. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    :depressed::down::suicide::bigcry:
     
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  17. Stinkfist

    Stinkfist Well-Known Member

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    Haha.

    Howard and Robin can act like assholes. Abandon old show friends at the drop of a dime. Not let interns near them or to speak to them.

    But all of the money and whatnot has only made them miserable old fucks.

    Fuck them.
     
  18. Murcielago

    Murcielago Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

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    [​IMG]

    January 2015
     
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  19. GIRLY

    GIRLY OV

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  20. GIRLY

    GIRLY OV

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    [​IMG]
     
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