Norovirus: when the levee breaks on your asshole.

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by FlaFlaFlunkie, Mar 15, 2014.

  1. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    Immediately after work yesterday, I came down with something that's gotta be exactly like norovirus.

    Firehose diarrhea. Pounding headache. Fever. Chills. And then, around 7 pm, dry heaving. Light-sensitivity. Even the light from a television screen or my laptop monitor makes my head and eye sockets ache.

    It's a beautiful day outside and I can't even make it to the car without having to turn around and run back inside.

    :depressed:

    All I can hold down is water and I can only have a few sips at a time. Can't even go to the pharmacy to get something, anything to abate these symptoms.

    Anyone else have this? How long does it last? :suicide:
     
  2. homebrew

    homebrew Active Member VIP

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    my wife got this weds night still in bed sick today.
     
  3. Patron

    Patron Well-Known Member

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    Once...after eating a tuna fish sandwich from a vending machine....worst 24 hrs of my life
     
  4. icypussy

    icypussy clit finder Gold

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    I had same shit last week, lasted 4 days, bananas, toast, rice and mashed potatoes were all I could keep down. It really sucked but I lost 7lbs and smoked 2 cigs in 4 days, hope you feel better.
     
  5. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    There's your problem. ;)
     
  6. Lou Skunt

    Lou Skunt ____________________ Banned User

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    I just got over that crap. It took 5 days for the pooping and stomach pain to go away. I took one pepto pill every 12 hours just to slow things down.

    When I say pooping, I mean it was like a fountain of water flowing out of my ass every time I went to the bathroom. :eek: The nausea...thank god my wife had some Phenergan pills.
     
  7. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Well we can be pretty sure Flafla wasn't eating anything remotely like tuna.
     
  8. Tinman

    Tinman Well-Known Member

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    Start an IV stat,51... D5W TKO

    [​IMG]

    Seriously, consider a trip to the ER.
     
  9. cia212

    cia212 Well-Known Member VIP

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    Was your ass already sore from rough anal sex?
     
  10. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    Sounds horrible. Feel better FlaFla. :)
     
  11. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    Loose sphincter.
     
  12. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    Dude, NOTHING can put a cork in this deluge.
     
  13. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    Pun intended? :bigthink:
     
  14. icypussy

    icypussy clit finder Gold

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    My shit was white when this ended, freaked me out because white shit means health emergency, but upon some research others had same issue after virus, completely back to normal now.
     
  15. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    I was asking my friend, who is a chef, if he thinks it's a virus or food poisoning, since it came over me so fast, and his description of what actual food poisoning is, nearly made me puke. I was yelling "OKAY, OKAY! I got it! STOP!" :jj:

    I'm wondering if I should call my friend who always has pot to see if maybe that'll help with the nausea. But every time I cough, my stomach cramps and uy....

    :banghead:

    Please tell me this isn't going to be 4 days. Please. :nag:
     
  16. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    I slept from 5 pm yesterday to 12:15 pm today. I got up like three times but man, was that a mistake. I won't even risk getting the mail. :jj:
     
  17. icypussy

    icypussy clit finder Gold

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    My cousin had it for 24hrs, you may get lucky.
     
  18. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    feel better dude... now would be a good time to do a Game Of Thrones Marathon
     
  19. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

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    Fire in the asshole :burn:
     
  20. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

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    Yeah, but I think the dehydration is setting in. I'm so weak, I can only stay awake for an hour or so at a time. And the only stuff I have in the refrigerator and cupboards is EXACTLY what I'm NOT supposed to eat.

    I would call a friend, but I don't want them to risk getting this, since it's highly contagious. Apparently, this virus can live for WEEKS outside of your body and flushing a toilet or vomiting causes it to become aerosolized so it's ALL over my condo at this point.

    I should tell my friend to bring me a bag of groceries and leave it at the front door. :jj: