Norovirus: when the levee breaks on your asshole.

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by FlaFlaFlunkie, Mar 15, 2014.

  1. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    42,557
    Likes Received:
    14
    Immediately after work yesterday, I came down with something that's gotta be exactly like norovirus.

    Firehose diarrhea. Pounding headache. Fever. Chills. And then, around 7 pm, dry heaving. Light-sensitivity. Even the light from a television screen or my laptop monitor makes my head and eye sockets ache.

    It's a beautiful day outside and I can't even make it to the car without having to turn around and run back inside.

    :depressed:

    All I can hold down is water and I can only have a few sips at a time. Can't even go to the pharmacy to get something, anything to abate these symptoms.

    Anyone else have this? How long does it last? :suicide:
     
  2. homebrew

    homebrew Active Member VIP

    Reputations:
    3
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    375
    Likes Received:
    222
    my wife got this weds night still in bed sick today.
     
  3. Patron

    Patron Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    544
    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2012
    Messages:
    2,257
    Likes Received:
    1,987
    Once...after eating a tuna fish sandwich from a vending machine....worst 24 hrs of my life
     
  4. icypussy

    icypussy clit finder Gold

    Reputations:
    7,341
    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2013
    Messages:
    4,140
    Likes Received:
    6,191
    I had same shit last week, lasted 4 days, bananas, toast, rice and mashed potatoes were all I could keep down. It really sucked but I lost 7lbs and smoked 2 cigs in 4 days, hope you feel better.
     
  5. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun.

    Reputations:
    8
    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    20,112
    Likes Received:
    37,149
    There's your problem. ;)
     
  6. Lou Skunt

    Lou Skunt ____________________ Banned User

    Reputations:
    3
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    22,581
    Likes Received:
    10,329
    I just got over that crap. It took 5 days for the pooping and stomach pain to go away. I took one pepto pill every 12 hours just to slow things down.

    When I say pooping, I mean it was like a fountain of water flowing out of my ass every time I went to the bathroom. :eek: The nausea...thank god my wife had some Phenergan pills.
     
  7. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen Seek truth, not confirmation of your opinions VIP

    Reputations:
    38,401
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    43,457
    Likes Received:
    45,654
    Well we can be pretty sure Flafla wasn't eating anything remotely like tuna.
     
  8. Tinman

    Tinman Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2012
    Messages:
    7,213
    Likes Received:
    7,120
    Start an IV stat,51... D5W TKO

    [​IMG]

    Seriously, consider a trip to the ER.
     
  9. cia212

    cia212 Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2012
    Messages:
    4,722
    Likes Received:
    3,697
    Was your ass already sore from rough anal sex?
     
  10. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun.

    Reputations:
    8
    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    20,112
    Likes Received:
    37,149
    Sounds horrible. Feel better FlaFla. :)
     
  11. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

    Reputations:
    28,347
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    32,603
    Likes Received:
    37,474
    Loose sphincter.
     
  12. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    42,557
    Likes Received:
    14
    Dude, NOTHING can put a cork in this deluge.
     
  13. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun.

    Reputations:
    8
    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    20,112
    Likes Received:
    37,149
    Pun intended? :bigthink:
     
  14. icypussy

    icypussy clit finder Gold

    Reputations:
    7,341
    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2013
    Messages:
    4,140
    Likes Received:
    6,191
    My shit was white when this ended, freaked me out because white shit means health emergency, but upon some research others had same issue after virus, completely back to normal now.
     
  15. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    42,557
    Likes Received:
    14
    I was asking my friend, who is a chef, if he thinks it's a virus or food poisoning, since it came over me so fast, and his description of what actual food poisoning is, nearly made me puke. I was yelling "OKAY, OKAY! I got it! STOP!" :jj:

    I'm wondering if I should call my friend who always has pot to see if maybe that'll help with the nausea. But every time I cough, my stomach cramps and uy....

    :banghead:

    Please tell me this isn't going to be 4 days. Please. :nag:
     
  16. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    42,557
    Likes Received:
    14
    I slept from 5 pm yesterday to 12:15 pm today. I got up like three times but man, was that a mistake. I won't even risk getting the mail. :jj:
     
  17. icypussy

    icypussy clit finder Gold

    Reputations:
    7,341
    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2013
    Messages:
    4,140
    Likes Received:
    6,191
    My cousin had it for 24hrs, you may get lucky.
     
  18. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2012
    Messages:
    55,631
    Likes Received:
    61,915

    feel better dude... now would be a good time to do a Game Of Thrones Marathon
     
  19. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    22,801
    Likes Received:
    5,996
    Fire in the asshole :burn:
     
  20. FlaFlaFlunkie

    FlaFlaFlunkie Fabulous!

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    42,557
    Likes Received:
    14
    Yeah, but I think the dehydration is setting in. I'm so weak, I can only stay awake for an hour or so at a time. And the only stuff I have in the refrigerator and cupboards is EXACTLY what I'm NOT supposed to eat.

    I would call a friend, but I don't want them to risk getting this, since it's highly contagious. Apparently, this virus can live for WEEKS outside of your body and flushing a toilet or vomiting causes it to become aerosolized so it's ALL over my condo at this point.

    I should tell my friend to bring me a bag of groceries and leave it at the front door. :jj: