Notes Asking Neighbours To Stop Having Sex So Loud

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by XXXXX, Jul 28, 2015.

  1. XXXXX

    XXXXX Well-Known Member

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    .

    No laughing matter

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    Wonder what this guy’s favourite word is…

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    Just about the creepiest note you could receive from a neighbour

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    The power of christ compels you

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    Two choices: keep it down, or involve me

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    “Sounds like he has stamina” is what every man wants to read at the end of a letter

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    Sounds like a murder scene

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    The subtle approach…

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    Even if they can’t hear you, they might see you

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    An unusual favour


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    They took the advice

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    There’s Banksy, there’s Wanksy, and then there’s Bangsy

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    Do you have any lube left? We’re making sundaes!

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    "Agony?” How lonely are those neighbours?

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    The wall braces it. Otherwise the bed just moves around the room like a bumper car.

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    Both are very cathartic

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    Here’s hoping they’ve met by now, and they’re making noises of their own

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    Never too soon to learn how it sounds when a woman is being attended to correctly

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    Your animals fear intimacy

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    I wouldn’t be so tired if I hadn’t had to stay up all night videotaping you

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  2. Night Ape

    Night Ape Well-Known Member

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    I guess not getting laid causes good handwriting..
     
  3. EddyG

    EddyG MORON Banned User

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    I found these notes entertaining.Thanks for putting them here.
     
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  4. Johnnykstaint

    Johnnykstaint VIP Extreme Gold

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    If im tired, a train running through my living room isnt going to wake me up.
     
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  5. SalsMasterShake

    SalsMasterShake Mouthpiece VIP

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    I remember not that long after I got divorced, on a random Thursday, my buddy and I went to this bar in Scottsdale for a couple of drinks, not expecting anything, and I met this cute Armenian chick from LA that was in town with her girlfriend on vacation.

    We hit it off immediately, and I knew I was in like Flynn when she laughed damn near hysterically at all of my corny jokes/stories, and we made out on the small dance floor they had there. Anyway, we made it back to her hotel, my usual, shitty performance the first time because of shyness was absent, and she howled like a banshee the second I stuck it in. I had to stifle my laughter the 2x we banged that night, and the 1x the next morning.

    We met up again that Saturday night, with another buddy playing wingman with her girlfriend. We all ended up back in my apartment, my buddy and the girlfriend up in the loft where my son normally slept, and me and my chick in my bedroom. My buddy made out with his chick, but didn't get much farther. He said he and the girlfriend just listened to me and the other chick fuck, and her screaming like I was killing her.

    Anyway, I met up with her again in San Francisco a few weeks later; I had hooked up a spot at this bed and breakfast in Marin County somewhere. We got there in the middle of the night, jumped in the sack, and the night terror began anew!

    The next morning, there was this couple with this prissy, super bitchy wife at breakfast. She started in right away with, did you guys get in late last night? "My husband and I heard you." "You woke us up!" "You guys were loud!" I was embarrassed, but I still thought it was funny. I look at the husband, and he's stifling a big grin. After this interrogation, me and the chick went outside and couldn't stop laughing.

    Alas, this stretched out one-night-stand didn't last much longer; we met up another time in Palm Springs, however, the magic was gone (but not the screaming). She wanted me to move (back) to LA, and I knew that wasn't happening. The end.

    Oh well, she was Top 5 best fucks ever, though, for sure...
     
  6. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

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    [​IMG]

    Judging by the style and placement of that ring, I seriously doubt there's any "her" involved in this guy's sex life. ;)
     
  7. Wesmantooth

    Wesmantooth VIP Extreme Gold

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    junior year college i moved into a nice brownstone in balt it had amazing 12 foot ceilings but that also made my bedroom acoustics insane. well this one chick I banged off and on came over and holy shit she was loud in a normal space but in this room I couldnt even concentrate it was just complete echoing screams. I wet from laughing to concern as knocks from above and across the thin corridor where the next building was started coming. I ended up kinda muffling her w a pillow so I could concentrate long enough to cum but holy hell :jj:
     
  8. johnfreeman1

    johnfreeman1 Well-Known Member

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    Nothing worse than loud neighbours
     
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  9. DTF296

    DTF296 Well-Known Member

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  10. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    It would be great if those were all going to the same apartment!:haha:
     
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  11. JRoyle411

    JRoyle411 I want to live in a hamburger bun.

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    I used to have lesbian neighbors.....I never complained about their sex noises.....I usually just listened and beat my dick until it was raw.
     
  12. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

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    Those were hilarious! :hilarious:
    Great thread, XXXXX! :up:
     
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  13. XXXXX

    XXXXX Well-Known Member

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    Thanks! I think i like the first and seventh the best.
     
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  14. XXXXX

    XXXXX Well-Known Member

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    that's the spirit!
     
  15. Willy Pfister

    Willy Pfister VIP Extreme Gold

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    Two of my tenants split a duplex. Single guy, single gal. Both pay great and don't bust my balls. Both their leases are due in August. My wife (as is our habit) texted them both in June to see if they were going to renew. The guy said he wasn't sure and the girl confided to my wife that she wanted to but that she wanted to know if the other tenant was going to stay. My wife dug a little deeper and it seems male tenant gets loud when he pumps off and he pumps off 2 or 3 times a night. (Female tenant knows he's alone.)

    She doesn't want us to say anything to him as it would be akward and I wouldn't even know how to iniate such a convo.

    Bonus info, he called me two days ago and said his shower is draining really slow.

    True story.
     
  16. JoeyDoubles

    JoeyDoubles Well-Known Member

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    well done sir, well done.
     
  17. ChimneySweep

    ChimneySweep Well-Known Member

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    A married friend of mine got busted in an affair with a married woman a few years ago. Both families split up and he moved in with his new girlfriend who had a teenage son and daughter. After the first week or two her daughter texted her and it said something like "I don't appreciate listening to you two FUCKING ever night." pretty inconsiderate on their part.

    I was friends with both of them and saw the text with my own eyes. She (the mom) was mortified (as she should have been)
     
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  18. SalsMasterShake

    SalsMasterShake Mouthpiece VIP

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    Yeesh. Cleaning out that drain is gonna be gross!:gross: :jackoff:
     
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  19. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    3 hours of moaning and screaming? Mmmkay. [​IMG]
     
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  20. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

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    Somebody's jealous ... :ucoffee: