Officers coffee top priority in British army officers mess.

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by hypo666, Nov 21, 2015.

  1. hypo666

    hypo666 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    14,860
    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    2,017
    Likes Received:
    3,006
    From: xxxxxxxxxx
    Sent: 10 November 2015 11:11
    To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Subject: 20151110-Officers' Coffee Adjt-O

    Importance: High

    Subbies (and Capts who from time to time may have to stand in)

    Officers' Coffee

    However basic and simple you may think making Officers' Coffee is, it is something that needs to be done correctly otherwise you look like idiots. It is something you are failing at, especially when people are away and others are asked/not asked to cover.

    The CO had to wait for some coffee this morning as a second jug hadn't been put on - This is completely unacceptable.

    Just to clarify a few things so everyone is sure of what is expected:

    1. The most junior officer is responsible for Officers' coffee. Until Feb 16 this is 2Lt [redacted]. He is to perform the duty each day that coffee is on. If he is unavailable he is to approach the next junior officer available to stand in for him.

    2. Ensure that there is always enough coffee. Never run out. Taylors is a good choice for coffee and don't scrimp on biscuits. A selection of the following always goes down well: jaffa cakes, choc malted milks, choc hob nobs or digestives and as a treat party rings or pink wafers. It is important not to run out of coffee or biscuits as occasionally I have to put on a pot of coffee and a plate of biscuits when hosting officers that visit BHQ.

    3. Put the other officers before yourself. Make sure you gauge how much coffee to put on and when. Make sure the milk jug and sugar bowl always have enough in. If someone brings in cake ensure there is a knife and paper towels handy. Don't wait to be prompted.

    4. Clearing up. Ensure the kitchen area and Harris room are left clean and tidy. This means: coffee machine switched off and cleaned, cups all cleaned (no coffee stains inside) and hung back on rack or placed back on tray. Coffee machine table wiped, kitchen sink and draining board wiped, table in Harris room wiped.

    I'm annoyed that I even have to write this. Get a grip and do the duty properly. You don't have to do it for that long so do it right. When the CO sees an organised and proactive subaltern at coffee she can presume that you are organised and proactive in how you run your Pl.



    [​IMG]

    The captain who sent the email in question on the right.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker VIP

    Reputations:
    120,346
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    41,074
    Likes Received:
    23,420
    dumb brits. you have privates for stuff like that! :facepalm:
     
  3. Dr Congo

    Dr Congo Active Member

    Reputations:
    821
    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2015
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    162
    Sounds like a cunt.
     
    Gusbuss and RonniesSexTips like this.
  4. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    147,111
    Joined:
    May 12, 2012
    Messages:
    24,431
    Likes Received:
    20,766
    "Ensure that there is always enough coffee. Never run out"



     
  5. FaFaFoHi

    FaFaFoHi Member

    Reputations:
    387
    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2012
    Messages:
    84
    Likes Received:
    72
    It's about discipline. A lazy millennial was asleep on the job and didn't brew the coffee.
     
    AmishGirl likes this.
  6. cg256

    cg256 Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    69,430
    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2013
    Messages:
    4,603
    Likes Received:
    8,848
    I work in an industry where we have 100's of millions of dollars of expensive machinery and equipment. Everyone knows the most important machine in the entire building is the 14.99 Sunbeam coffee maker that sits in the lunchroom.
     
    MadWoman777, Gusbuss, Runaway and 5 others like this.
  7. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

    Reputations:
    393,607
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    10,351
    Likes Received:
    26,957
    Bereft of any context, this sounds ridiculous.

    At the same time, the devil is in the details when maintaining the good order and discipline of a military unit.
     
    Gusbuss, cg256 and AmishGirl like this.
  8. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    45,379
    Joined:
    May 1, 2015
    Messages:
    7,818
    Likes Received:
    10,979
    I would use her privates for better things
     
    sstressed likes this.
  9. maroon

    maroon Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    45,379
    Joined:
    May 1, 2015
    Messages:
    7,818
    Likes Received:
    10,979
    ya, military is by the numbers, they have a process for everything
     
    Gusbuss likes this.
  10. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    125,061
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2012
    Messages:
    17,506
    Likes Received:
    18,559
    I must have at least 3 cups a day.
    Coffee has vitamin X and at my age its the only thing keeping me alive. :)
     
    cg256 and Head Censor like this.
  11. Rodney21a

    Rodney21a Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    16,334
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2013
    Messages:
    4,122
    Likes Received:
    2,701
    civilians will always gafaw at shit like this. I read it, thought,... "ok....clean that shit up make the coffee" assume its like some break room they are sharing somewhere so no lower enlisted in the room at all times to do the dirty work and lowest ranked officers are expected to do the tidying up.... Chain of command... and don't be a pig...
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2015
  12. RenchFries

    RenchFries Official Dawgshed Dutch representative Gold

    Reputations:
    169,753
    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2012
    Messages:
    23,024
    Likes Received:
    21,533
    Surprises me thuis is not about tea.
     
    AmishGirl likes this.