*******Official Dawgshed Beth Stern Book Review Contest And Discussion Thread******

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by BethSucks, Nov 17, 2014.

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  1. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Amazon reviews should be open for the Yoda book in a couple of hours. Post your Amazon review here to be eligible for the Dawgshed book review contest. We'll hold this thread open for a couple of days to give everyone a chance to post. On Thursday there will be a nomination thread to narrow it down to the top five, then we'll do a poll to pick the winner over the weekend The winner will get two months of Gold Membership courtesy of Dawg and Monk. Have fun!

    http://www.amazon.com/Yoda-Story-Ca...16326647&sr=8-1&keywords=beth stern yoda book
     
  2. Dump Button

    Dump Button Former Mall Security Guard

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    thirst

    edit: I mean first
     
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  3. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

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    Should be good! :evil:
     
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  4. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    Keep in mind Amazon will review whatever you submit..

    Personal attacks will get you nowhere

    I know I am not telling anyone anything new ... but just a heads up to anyone new who is thinking of submitting a constructive critique

    of a random New York Times Best Seller
     
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  5. Splash

    Splash Huge Member VIP

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    Wow, you guys read that dumb book or sumpthin?
     
  6. jameslanza

    jameslanza Well-Known Member

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    Has anyone mentioned the section where it says people who bought this also bought.... Potty sqautty is one of the items, how pathetic
     
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  7. Vinegarette

    Vinegarette Don't Believe What You Hear

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    It's open !!!!

    ====================================


    When you look up “vapid vanity project” in a dictionary a photo of this book should be close by.

    Wow, where to start -- my 6-year old son ordered this book sight unseen before the photo of the cover was available on Amazon thinking it was about his favorite Star Wars character Yoda. This book is no Nemo, and it’s odd that Lucasfilm/Disney allowed the copyright infringement of one of their most identifiable trademarks. Imagine his disappointment when my son received an odd picture book about a flat-faced cartoon cat instead? He actually threw the book into our dawg shed.

    I wasn’t sure who this book was catered to as I flipped through the few 30 or so illustrated pages. It’s a picture book, quasi comic-book style, basically with an oddly written story – if you can call it that. It’s not simple enough for a toddler’s interests or attention, and no way near advanced enough for a pre-teen’s intellect. It’s just odd, so I did some checking on the background of this book and how it came to be.

    Initially you’re taken aback by the absolutely strange giant “look at us!” photo of the supposed author Beth Stern (though the book is actually reportedly written by a Disney contracted ghostwriter for hire named KA Alistir), Beth’s husband, and Yoda the Persian cat on the back cover of the dust jacket – there is no other children’s author that has ever done this. If you didn’t already know, you might be surprised to realize the husband is Howard Stern -- the once “king of talk radio” in the early ‘90s with the dump button who basically all but disappeared to satellite radio about 10 years ago, doing only 2-3 hour interview shows a few times a week for reportedly 60-70,000 listeners now; a near billionaire resting on his laurels as it were. Beth says he stays away in his room learning watercolor painting and modge podging. I guess you can’t blame him for cashing out. He’s also one of the judges on TV’s “Americas Got Talent”, but since he’s been onboard ratings at that TV show are at their all-time lowest too. One of his continual pet projects seems to be getting his wife Beth some type of celebrity status over the years, and publicists I talked with say that he’s financed this entire Yoda book project behind the scenes, as he’s done many others for her, as one of those rich-wife vanity projects to keep her out of his hair (?) so to speak.

    We’re told that the entire proceeds of this book are supposed to go to the North Shore Animal League animal shelter in New York. Investigating this organization, I found it is rated as one of the lowest animal shelters in the nation in percentage of money going towards the animals versus administration (read: salaries; the directors at NSAL all pay themselves high 6-figure salaries there and sponsor million dollar galas for themselves throughout the year) with only approximately 30% of solicited donations going to the animals’ benefit. The Sterns have been beseeching donations from celebrities and former fans for a $7+ million dollar expansion to this organization’s shelter for over 4 years now, but surprisingly there is no breaking ground of the project as yet. There is no published public accountability of the current accumulated donations and expenses of their Bianca Furry Friends efforts over the last 4 years either. Of course, if the Sterns really had no interest in keeping this simply a vanity exposure project for Beth – she gets to play dress up, get photographed, and make television appearances – they could have easily funded the entire project anonymously years ago, but that would have been the quiet, unnoticed, benevolent, and correct thing to do.

    Investigate the author online and you realize very quickly that the near 50-year old Beth Stern has no children of her own, and seems to be using small docile animals as psychological or maternal replacement props for some sort of weird self-attention, self-seeking, celebrity status. Most of the photos of her so-called “rescuing” animals include 10-14 week-old kittens in photo shoots stuck down her dresses with mostly Beth front and center; cute little kittens which would have absolutely no problem being readily adopted at any legitimate animal shelter nor have any need to be fostered for a few weeks at any of the Stern’s mansions.

    You’ll find literally thousands of recent photos & selfies of Beth on Instagram, Google, and Twitter with kittens, all the while she’s dressed in expensive celebrity designer outfits, lavish calf leather coats, and multi-thousand-dollar lambskin purses (saving kittens but exploiting calves and lambs is okay I guess) – any one of which dollar amounts would probably be the budget for any regular neighborhood animal shelter for a month. I wonder if Beth will ever really think of the truly forsaken animals, and instead of spending thousands of dollars for another calf-skin purse or custom made designer leather shoes, sends the money anonymously to some middle America animal shelter?

    Forget the thousands of dollars each month that Howard pays Indian Internet social media firms for fake followers to almost instantly +like and positively comment on everything that Beth posts on Instagram and Twitter each day. What you don’t see are photos of her working and getting dirty in the animal shelters, fostering true feral animals that actually need readjusting care & households, rescuing abandoned animals, or spending their own money to fund an animal shelter. Heck, in the simplest of terms, she’s just using little kittens to take photos of herself, and then trying to convince us normal folks that she’s a saint doing god’s work to get our money that we actually had to work for.

    In the grand scheme of things that are wrong in the world, it’s just so hypocritical to see a wannabe celebrity billionaire, who completely tucked into her wealth by marrying some old guy, peddle a book that most likely wasn’t even written by her, wasn’t drawn by her, and wasn’t her initial idea, to attempt one last time to gain fame and recognition based mostly on some PR firm’s pet project, all paid for by Howard behind the scenes.

    Cut out the middle man, especially in this case, and donate your money to your neighborhood animal shelter if you’re so inclined. There’s no need to funnel hypocrisy through this book.

    I give them 5 stars for the outright hutzpah and hypocrisy – the illustrations by Devin Crane are cool.

    :wigtip:

    Like a kid at Christmas ...

    .
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2014
    Bye You!, Lemmy, Batwings and 40 others like this.
  8. BringBackJackie

    BringBackJackie Well-Known Member Banned User

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    This is a "book" that should never have been published. The notion that a 45 year old woman (whose husband actually admits he wears condoms to keep her from having a baby) should write a children's book is as absurd as obese, cancer-ridden Robin Quivers writing an "eat healthy" book.

    Some background on the "author": Beth Stern dropped out of college and became, in Howard Stern's words, "a top European model." Evidently in Europe, "top models" aren't permitted to have their pictures taken since published pictures of Beth "modoeing" in Europe appear not to exist. Beth then left "Europe" and moved to NYC where, in the words of Sandra Bernhard, she was best known as a "party girl."

    After meeting and marrying Howard Stern (aka Wigboy) Beth decided to "modoe" her "career" after Deirdre Imus and align herself with a charity, in this case the 2 star rated North Shore Animal League, all the while maintaining, according to Wigboy, a professed desire to "not want to be famous." (Tens of thousands of selfies posted on Instagram and Twitter suggest otherwise.) Wigboy (aka Wiggy) and Beth have spent the last few years efforting to get the Public to accept Beth as some kind of celebrity. Countless failed television projects are testimony to the Public's good taste.

    Which brings us to Beth's latest vanity project, "Yoda: The Story of a Cat and His Kittens". As the "story" was originally told by Wiggy (aka Wigster), Yoda was diagnosed with a heart condition, barely able to move around the bowling alley in Wigster and Beth's palatial estate in the Hamptons, a stunning tribute to what the Nouveau Riche aspire to own, charmingly named "Chimney Manor." Either Yoda was misdiagnosed or the self-admitted "compulsive liar" Wigster (aka Wigmeister) was once again lying, but it turns out that Yoda has no health issues after all, he is just old, fat and lazy, like the aforementioned Robin Quivers.

    With the Holiday Season fast approaching and the realization that the Public had no interest in yet another calendar featuring Beth Stern salaciously licking one side of an ice cream cone while a dog licks the other side, Wigmeister and Beth came up with this "book" to try and get the Public to finally accept Beth. Simon and Schuster took the bait which allowed the infantile Beth (to paraphrase Noman Mailer on JD Salinger, Beth Stern may be "the greatest mind ever to stay in [elementary] school”) to indulge in an eight year old's flight into anthropomorphic whimsy.

    Simon and Schuster should be ridiculed for publishing what is in essense the literary equivalent of a "selfie." The only saving grace regarding the release of this book is to track how quickly it enters its rightful spot in the "Books Under A Buck" club, joining the published, never-sold literary efforts of Howard Stern associates Robin Quivers and Lisa G. In closing, Amazon's rating system forces me to be generous in giving Beth Stern's latest vanity project a 1 star rating.
     
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  9. Vinegarette

    Vinegarette Don't Believe What You Hear

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    We're in the lead ...

    [​IMG]
     
  10. joe361

    joe361 Well-Known Member

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  11. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    "Oh this is HUGE!"

    [​IMG]
     
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  12. Onehourphoto

    Onehourphoto Maverick Gold

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    Howie, please unplug the Internet thingie, they are being mean to me.
     
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  13. Dominic GPS

    Dominic GPS TIT: Texan-In-Training VIP

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  14. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    I am so tempted to buy this book on my kindle so I can really give it an honest review but I don't want to boost her numbers at all. I hope she doesn't sell 5 copies.

    I'm going to try the free sample.
     
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  15. Robert Higgins

    Robert Higgins Well-Known Member VIP

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  16. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    Holy shit. Just from the free sample this book is worse than I thought. It makes me want to vomit.
     
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  17. Robert Higgins

    Robert Higgins Well-Known Member VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
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  18. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    Do they really want us to believe that this big beautiful (expensive) Persian cat sat at a shelter and nobody wanted it until Beth the Angel came down from heaven and rescued him?

    [​IMG]
     
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  19. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    She told the real author and the artist to make a book about how wonderful she is. Oh and put the cat in there too so the kids will like it.
     
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  20. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    Hand is too small.

    [​IMG]
     
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