OMG, I just fucked up so bad tonight, that I wish I could curl into a ball and die.

So check it.


I'm out walking the dog tonight, and out of the corner of my eye I see two mega-fucking-hotties, I mean I'm not fucking around at all, these chicks were smoking hot. Full-on Cali 9's. Which means that most of you couldn't even begin to comprehend the hottness that I'm talking about.

But just as I notice the hotties, I'm also noticing a couple of big ass dogs in the park that I'm approaching, and Swifty is starting to tense up on the leash.

As I hit the sidewalk after crossing the street on a parallel path with the hotties, they now see Swifty, and I can hear one of them starting to say 'ooooooooohhhh, he is soooo cute' just as Swifty is starting his typical batshit lunatic barking at other dogs, thereby forcing me to do this awkward ass drag him along until he stops barking.

And I'll I could do was look up and respond to the mega hotties with this....

 

Except for the fucking barking, the goddamn dog did EXACTLY what the fuck he is supposed to do, and all I can manage is....

 

There is always tomorrow

 

Pics or it didn't happen

 

3some fail

 

Right now, I should be dancing around naked, touching those bitches, getting ready to bang them both.


Instead, they're probably still laughing about the rock star haired weirdo with the awesome dog.

 

Bummer dude

 

I work in HR. Maybe i can help you

 

So you crossed the street on a parallel path with the hottie's? Like simultaneously or were you lagging or leading? Why not form a triangle to intersect their path?

 

a man can dream.

 

Hello Bud

 

Bro, I don't need to make any awkward movements right off the bat. Mega-fucking-hotties can spot that shit a million miles away.

You HAVE to keep it organic to have a shot.

 

yeah probably

 

Where I fucked up was not yanking the leash so that Swifty came back hurtling into my grasp, and saying to the mega-fucking-hotties "Ladies, Swifty wants to say hello", with a wink from me.

 

I married bro. I go for the kill.

 

For you to remember them by:

 

I appreciate you not throwing the 'no doubt' into my face, which is deserved.

You're a good friend.

 

Ohh, wow, you fucked up bro. You fucked up.

Goddamn, what are you, stupid? Married?

 

Spoiler

 

Not now Nunz.