Stern Show One thing Beef doesn't have to worry about

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Shithead, Jul 19, 2016.

  1. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    91,835
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    13,366
    Likes Received:
    21,555
    Unless it's from her vibrator

    [​IMG]






    Woman with stomach ache is horrified when doctors remove a two-inch ball of CAT HAIR from her vagina 'caused by pets moulting in her bed'

    Many a cat lover lets their feline friend sleep on their bed.
    But one woman got a rather unexpected - not to mention disgusting - added extra after several nights of snuggling up.
    Michelle Barrow is mother to Cricket and Donut, who, while cute, shed a torrrent of hair all over the bed.
    And while unsightly, she never dreamt what would happen next.
    Some time later, during a routine appointment with her gynaecologist, she mentioned the 'dull ache' she'd felt in her abdomen for the last month.
    The cause? A two-inch ball of cat hair inside her vagina, apparently.
    [​IMG]
    +3
    One woman got a rather unexpected - not to mention disgusting - added extra after several nights of snuggling up with her pets (file image)
    How? The theory is that cat hairs in the bed became attached to her partner's penis - neither of the couple sleep in underwear - and these had been transferred inside Miss Barrow during sex.
    And rather than work their way out, they simply became entangled in her IUD contraceptive coil.
    Over time, more and more debris collected, creating a furball inside her.

    Michelle Barrow descibed her gruesome ordeal in an article for online women’s magazine xoJane.
    Titled: ‘IT HAPPENED TO ME: My Gynecologist Found Hair In My Vagina’, the post has been discussed at length on the internet.
    Some sceptics denounced the piece - which is certainly not for the squeamish - as fake.
    But Miss Barrow maintained if she was going to make up a story, she definitely wouldn't choose this as a topic.
    In the piece, she explains she had an intrauterine device, or IUD, as a form of contraception.
    (The small T-shaped plastic and copper device is inserted into the womb. It works by stopping the sperm and egg from surviving in the womb or fallopian tubes and may also prevent a fertilised egg from implanting in the womb.)
    [​IMG]
    +3
    During a routine appointment with her gynaecologist, Miss Barrow had mentioned the 'dull ache' she'd felt in her abdomen for the last month (file image)
    And when she began suffering pains in her abdominal area, she simply blamed her IUD.
    But during her medical appointment, the doctor suspected the ache was due to ovarian cysts and so decided to examine her vagina.
    'She began the exam and immediately started muttering what the heck IS that thing?”,' recalled Miss Barrow.
    The doctor then asked if she used tampons, to which she replied only very occasionally.
    Despite this, the doctor believed some tampon fibres had become tangled up with the strings of the IUD coil.
    An IUD has two thin threads that hang down a little way from the womb into the top of the vagina. By feeling these threads, women can can check the device is still in place.
    After requesting a long pair of tweezers and scissors, the doctor began trying to dislodge the lump in Miss Barrow's vagina.
    Unable to pull it out, the doctor had to resort to cutting it away.
    And as the two-inch lump of fur was dragged out Miss Barrow realised, to her horror, it was the same colour as her cat Donut.
    Writing on xoJane, she recalled the exact moment the penny dropped.
    She said: ‘HOLY SHIT THAT IS CAT HAIR THERE HAS BEEN A BALL OF CAT HAIR INSIDE ME FOR A MONTH THAT IS CAT HAIR AND IT WAS IN MY VAGINA A HAIRBALL HAS BEEN CAUSING MY DISCOMFORT HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!’
    The doctor sent the specimen to the laboratory, and the results came back as ‘foreign object: forgotten tampon.’
    But Ms Barrow has another theory as to what happened.
    'My theory is that our sheets are to blame: I'm not very good at making the bed every day so Cricket and Donut have free reign. My fiance and I don't use condoms so it'd be easy for him to unknowingly have some hair on his penis and during sex it'd be easy for that hair to migrate to my strings where everything got all tangled up. The thought still skeeves me out.'
    [​IMG]
    +3
    Critics claimed the story was too outlandish to be real - but Miss Barrow said she 'wouldn't make that up'
    Commenting on the post, Debbie Mccormack said: 'As a OB GYN, I can tell you I have found many "forgotten tampons" in vaginas.
    'Sometimes they look like tampons. Sometimes they don't. I don't think I've ever seen a vaginal hairball but I'm definitely not ruling it out... I've seen some s***!
    Following the debacle, Ms Barrow admits she is more fastidious about cleaning her sheets and forcing her cats to sleep in the basement.
    I think the moral of the story is that vaginas are crazy mysterious enigmas that we will never really understand, so we may as well just write about how weird they are on the internet
    Michelle Barrow
    She added: ‘Sex was definitely touch-and-go for the first few weeks after my appointment and I can't say I blame my fiance for being a little turned off by the thought of my vagina furtata.’
    Some critics, however, claimed the story was too outlandish to be real.
    NY magazine writer Michelle Barrow said: 'I assumed the post was a hoax or perhaps cat-lady parody — until I Facebook-chatted Michelle Barrow, who gamely answered all my questions from her mobile phone while walking down the street in her hometown of Baltimore.'
    When asked if she understood why people might not believe the story, Ms Burrow stressed she 'wouldn't make that up'.
    'Now I wish I'd taken a picture of it,' she told NY magazine.
    She went on to emphasise she does practice good hygiene, showers every day and washes her sheets fortnightly.
    'I think the moral of the story is that vaginas are crazy mysterious enigmas that we will never really understand, so we may as well just write about how weird they are on the internet,' she concluded.
    Read more:
     
  2. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    316,330
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    177,445
    Likes Received:
    59,404
    Does every news story you read make you think of Beth
     
    Sleep and Bro like this.
  3. wigtropolis

    wigtropolis Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    65,069
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    19,008
    Likes Received:
    10,190
    All your posts make me think of golden unicorns shooting fountains of blood and panda cheeks out of their ass and such as
     
    reno likes this.
  4. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    126,037
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2012
    Messages:
    17,626
    Likes Received:
    18,676
    Sleeping with a pussy on her pussy to keep both pussy's warm
     
    JFK and reno like this.
  5. Bro

    Bro Oligarchical Corporatocracy VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    199,251
    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2010
    Messages:
    85,541
    Likes Received:
    16,676
    I doubt it's from cats moulting on her bed.
     
    Hough and Petal like this.
  6. cetiya

    cetiya Lunatic VIP

    Reputations:
    162,146
    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2015
    Messages:
    3,896
    Likes Received:
    9,876
    Thats nuts. They must be pigs to let that much cat hair in the bed, and cat hair on his penis? I slept with a long haired cat for 22 years and never got a single hair inside of me!
     
  7. ShutupMoron

    ShutupMoron Unknown Member VIP

    Reputations:
    78,385
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    15,087
    Likes Received:
    14,375
    Her story is just BS. She left a tampon and the doctor removed it or she just made up the entire story.

    http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/my-gynecologist-found-a-ball-of-cat-hair-in-my-vagina

    Thankfully the doctor has steady hands because within a few seconds she says she's done it. The nurse claps and then, looking at the specimen, recoils disgustedly. The doctor leans back and asks, “So do you wanna see the tampon?”

    >>>>

    She sent the specimen to the lab to make sure it wasn't anything nefarious and I can only imagine how the techs reacted to testing a wad of fur for infections.

    When I get the results back it said “foreign object: forgotten tampon.”
     
    Dorb, cetiya and christ cracker like this.
  8. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    323,695
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2012
    Messages:
    13,705
    Likes Received:
    40,548
    There must me more to this story. Did she get the cat from Beth?
     
    cetiya likes this.
  9. YodaQuiversStern

    YodaQuiversStern Turn and face the strange

    Reputations:
    53,217
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2015
    Messages:
    3,945
    Likes Received:
    8,780
    They should try washing the sheets more than once a year.
     
    Jayla and cetiya like this.
  10. Captain

    Captain Alto, Blanco y Guapo Gold

    Reputations:
    139,994
    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2013
    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    11,912
    No pics = no proof. :grad:

    Sorry. We are an evidence-based board.
     
  11. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    316,330
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    177,445
    Likes Received:
    59,404
    Why would she not have to worry about it
     
  12. cetiya

    cetiya Lunatic VIP

    Reputations:
    162,146
    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2015
    Messages:
    3,896
    Likes Received:
    9,876


    Uh yeah, ok ill get right on that!
     
  13. check1

    check1 VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    82,903
    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2013
    Messages:
    12,240
    Likes Received:
    13,116
    Cats in bed.

    :puke:
     
    Jayla likes this.
  14. baltimore mike

    baltimore mike I wear panties 24/7 364

    Reputations:
    19,570
    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2010
    Messages:
    61,968
    Likes Received:
    9,830
    So hottt
     
  15. Captain

    Captain Alto, Blanco y Guapo Gold

    Reputations:
    139,994
    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2013
    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    11,912
    Go crazy. Watercolors and oil paintings count as pics!

    [​IMG]
     
    ZevonFan, Jayla, cd72 and 1 other person like this.
  16. njguy8

    njguy8 Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    135,428
    Joined:
    May 30, 2012
    Messages:
    6,129
    Likes Received:
    10,778

    Wouldn't this be considered bestiality?

    I wouldn't be terribly surprised if this did apply to Beth.

    I mean she's obviously in to pelicans.
     
  17. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

    Reputations:
    213,658
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2010
    Messages:
    49,749
    Likes Received:
    23,825
    She probably washed her sheets less often than JD.
     
  18. ShutupMoron

    ShutupMoron Unknown Member VIP

    Reputations:
    78,385
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    15,087
    Likes Received:
    14,375
    If she got the cats from Beefie the wad of hair tampon would have involved her eyeballs and she'd be blind.
     
    reno likes this.
  19. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    340,295
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    28,614
    Likes Received:
    37,742
    Beth doesn't have to worry, the dog will lick it out. :snicker:

    [​IMG]
    (chop by @pontius pilot )
     
    kingship likes this.
  20. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    316,330
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    177,445
    Likes Received:
    59,404
    :facepalm:
     
    cd72 likes this.