Panhandlers: YOUR STORIES

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by A Succulent Chinese Meal, Jun 16, 2015.

  1. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    I got solicited for the second time by the same goblin yesterday. The first time was a week ago, she said she was pregnant. She had a big belly and everything and so I stood there and listened to her story, which was about three minutes long.

    I thought she was going to ask me for some food, which I would have given her, but she pulled out this big wad of money and said, "I need more money to get to the Motel 6 by the freeway because all of the missions are full."

    Yesterday, she had no belly, and she popped out of the bushes and started to ask me for money again and I waved my hand at her like a black woman and said, "NO!" She flipped me off and picked a cigarette butt off of the asphalt and left.
     
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  2. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    I always wear headphones in public and ignore all other people.
     
  3. Lou Loomis

    Lou Loomis Feel the Gern

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    where is all this taking place ??


    :crazy:
     
  4. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    In grad school I took advanced photography and had to do a theme project. I chose the homeless. I went to the city with my friend. We drove around to the soup kitchens, the bowery, port authority.. etc.. They threw shit at me. Literally shit. Food, chased me. It was a nightmare. I told my professor If I don't get an A I'm gonna throw shit at him.

    I got that A. :fil:
     
  5. banksy

    banksy FAT FADED FUCK FACE VIP

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    This one started to squeegee my windshield after I had already waved him off, so I turned my wipers on.

    He didn't like that.
     
  6. Dirty South

    Dirty South Large Member

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    I had a buddy who would ask people for $ at gas stations every now and then... a surprising amount gave him a buck or two. I think he said a few gave him more, like $10.

    Retards. I've never given panhandlers $ and never would.
     
  7. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    Atlanta has machines on the sidewalks that you can put money in that is supposed to go to the bums. Once in Atlanta, a bum begged me for money and I told him I already put money in the machine. I lied.
     
  8. Sleep

    Sleep Goon Squad VIP

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    I'm at the liquor store buying beer, and I see some dude in the corner scratching a fuck ton of lotto scratchers. I get my beer and leave.

    I stop at a Redbox, and this dude walks up to me, hands me a CD and asks for a donation, so I give him a couple bucks. As I'm getting in my car, I hear someone pull up to me on a bicycle as I'm closing my door. The guy says "excuse me sir, would you happen to be able to spare a couple dollars". I look up and lo and behold, it's the same fucker I saw at the liquor store doing scratchers. I tell him "dude, I just saw you doing lotto at the fucking liquor store, stop wasting your money on that shit".
    He was not happy.
     
  9. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Maker of Lists Gold

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    They annoy me.
     
  10. Teeney

    Teeney My friends call me Lissette Gold

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    I am a huge sucker. I can't help it.
     
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  11. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    Actually I crept up on them like I was tryin to capture a wild animal. I musta said OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT RUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! 200 times that day.
     
  12. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus! Gold

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    all over the downtown area in DC, i have headphones and just tell them im sorry and keep walking
     
  13. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Maker of Lists Gold

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    Fuck you nigga, you ain't no vietnam vet. You just a forty yo drugfag.
     
  14. Teeney

    Teeney My friends call me Lissette Gold

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    You need to suffer for your art
     
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  15. Sleep

    Sleep Goon Squad VIP

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    Another time I'm at a Del Taco drive thru, and some real cracky looking white dude asks for change.

    I tell him "I don't have any cash but I'll buy you a couple tacos".

    Motherfucker says "awwww man, I hate tacos, can you get me a couple burgers?".

    I got him fries instead.
     
  16. Dirty South

    Dirty South Large Member

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    Broke and lazy. :dontknow: Probably wanted cigs, weed, or a pill. Said he needed gas to get home.

    This was our early 20s, he's since straightened up and is a waiter at bw3s. :jj:
     
  17. Sleep

    Sleep Goon Squad VIP

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    There is a fat beggar that's always at my grocery store.

    Fat beggars get nothing!!!
     
  18. Lou Loomis

    Lou Loomis Feel the Gern

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    It's probably demeaning, but I like to have panhandlers sing or perform in some (non-sexual) manner for the money.... It's a win-win experience. Who doesn't love the joy of song?
     
  19. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    Back in college, I had an idea for a skit that I wanted to videotape. I would be dressed in a suit with a briefcase and go stand right in front of a bum on an off ramp and take a sign out of my briefcase begging for money. I didn't have a video camera though, so I never did it.
     
  20. Bro

    Bro Corporate Fascist VIP Gold

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    I have stories. Boy do I have stories.