Please take note, when driving on a highway in traffic...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by ApeFace, Jun 25, 2015.

  1. ApeFace

    ApeFace Well-Known Member

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    The following people need to die:

    Anyone in the left lane who gets passed by more than one person on the right.

    Anyone in the right lane who is driving slow but not taking the next exit.

    Anyone in rush hour traffic who is not driving to or from work.

    Anyone in bumper to bumper traffic that stays in the left lane but leaves 5 car lengths between the car in front of them, allowing all kinds of assholes to weave in and out.

    The uninsured.

    If you are guilty of these offenses, please get Ebola. If you know someone who is guilty, please spit your Ebola on them.
     
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  2. Ben Dover

    Ben Dover Well-Known Member

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    I'm an excellent driver

    [​IMG]
     
  3. HowardImus

    HowardImus Well-Known Member

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    EXCELLENT POST!!!! thank you...that is all
     
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  4. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen Seek truth, not confirmation of your opinions VIP

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    Road ragers anonymous.
     
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  5. cwok

    cwok Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    :jumpclap:

    I'm loving these traffic posts :cheesy:
     
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  6. ApeFace

    ApeFace Well-Known Member

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    The Garden State Parkway will get the rage flowing like no other. I lived in LA for a while and don't remember the 405 sucking as bad as New Jersey.
     
  7. Mr Fantastic

    Mr Fantastic Found Nemo VIP

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    Anyone that is doing everything except driving, um while driving.

    passed a chick on the right while she was tying her hair up with both hands, and she gets pissed at me??

    Flip me off all you want, but you were the one that sat in the fast lane going 67 in a 65.
     
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  8. Howchilla

    Howchilla VIP Extreme Gold

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    I tend not to get too excited on the highway. I usually laugh at the guy in bumper-to-bumper traffic who is weaving in every lane possible. He'll see the middle lane moving and he'll HAVE to jump in that lane. THen if the right lane is moving, he'll jump back into that one. All that effort and it always turns out that we are in the same spot at the end.
     
  9. marswillrule

    marswillrule Well-Known Member VIP

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    You forgot the assholes that all ride next to each other at the same speed.
     
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  10. HypocriteHowie

    HypocriteHowie VIP Extreme Gold

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    I guess I'm an asshole.

    But the shithead that passed me in the right lane doing 90, wearing a baseball cap sideways, being followed by an unmarked Charger, was pulled over on the side of the road a mile down the road.

    Just a bit of advise, if you drive like an asshole, don't look like one, the State cop in the Charger is going to shove it up your ass.
     
  11. yaddc

    yaddc Well-Known Member

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    :toptip:
     
  12. yaddc

    yaddc Well-Known Member

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    There's a lot of medicated people on the road. Especially Garden state/turnpike.
     
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  13. DiamondGoddess

    DiamondGoddess Born Ready for My Close-Up! Gold

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    Was it Sartre or Nietzsche who said, "Hell is other people"?

    (Especially when driving!!!)

    :snicker:
     
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  14. Stinkfist

    Stinkfist Well-Known Member

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    Guilty as charged. I used to run a lot of errands for my grandmother before she died. Unfortunately, this entailed a lot of driving. And I wasn't working. So I guess I will get Ebola for you, OP.
     
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  15. Mr Sinister

    Mr Sinister Gold

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    I never go above the speed limit in the left lane
     
  16. StRyDeRxX

    StRyDeRxX Bling Bling Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Maddux

    Maddux Well-Known Member VIP

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    You forgot the assholes that will not turn right on red despite no traffic coming for miles...they wait 5 minutes for the light to turn green then make the fucking turn.
     
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  18. peterfonda

    peterfonda Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure where you live, but in New York, if you are involved in a collision with an uninsured vehicle, you can apply for uninsured motorist benefits under your own insurance policy. Under NYS law, all auto insurance policies sold in the state must provide at least $25,000 per person/$50,000 per occurrence in uninsured motorist coverage to the insureds. This way, your pain and suffering will be addressed. This is not no-fault insurance; that is something totally different. You can buy more UM coverage from your insurer if you like. It's pretty cheap. There are many people with big UM coverages who are hurt in car accidents who pray that the offending vehicle was uninsured because they can collect more.
     
  19. ApeFace

    ApeFace Well-Known Member

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    You're worse than Hitler.
     
  20. ApeFace

    ApeFace Well-Known Member

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    Post a sign in your back window indicating you're on a mission for Grandma. You will get an exception. You can just get regular spit without the Ebola.