Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Snort, Jul 19, 2016.
Paying strippers count?
If you paid them for sex.... sure why not
Musso asked this a few months ago, so I'll re-post my one and only time with a hooker.
It's 2004 and I am in Chicago for Van Halen at the United Center. I live 2 hours south, so I paid for a limo to drive us there and back. We had suites and EVH sucked. Total nightmare of a concert. Dude was fucked up beyond belief. However, I still had fun as there was free booze flowing. Anyway, after we left, I told the driver that we wanted to go find some girls. I told him that I would pay the extra two hours. (I'm thinking a few hours at a bar) Well, he stops on Madison Ave because I declared that I had to piss. I guess he thought that was a good place to stop for pissing? Worked for me as I pissed in one of the flower pots that sprinkle Madison Ave. One of my friends jump out because he thinks we are looking for prostitutes. He literally runs down Madison Ave and says "See you later!". I was so drunk that I didn't think about the fact that we were his ride; I just went back into the limo and eventually passed out. An hour later, I wake up to a broad unzipping my pants in the back of the limo. She asks if I have a condom, and in my drunken stupor, I manage to pull one out of my pocket. (I anticipated the possibility of something happening prior to me going) So, she sucks me off with the condom on (Thanks, hooker) and then asks for 70 bucks. I then realized that I had my first prostitute. We get rid of her and I pass out again. I wake up a half hour later because someone else jumps in to the back. My fucking cousin starts fucking this fat Mexi with no condom. I am still fucked out of my mind, but I am watching her straddle him. (Weird, I know, but I wasn't aware of real life at that point) After she is done, she asks him for 90.00. He asks me for my wallet. I am too drunk and am too nice to argue, so I pulled cash out. Pass out again. I wake up at 6:00 AM in front of my house on the floor of the limo. Driver said that we had fun. I feel like shit and give him an extra 100.00 for the two hours of "fun". I get a call the next day from the limo company asking for an additional 5 hours of time. No idea what happened after I passed out, but it only takes 2-1/2 hours to get me home from Chicago. I am guessing that the driver stopped and had some fun as well, on my dime.
My friend who took off paid 200 bucks to stay at a Marriott Hotel and had to have his wife drive up the next morning to get him. Idiot.
Actually, only time I blew a load from a bj while wearing Condom was from a stripper in canada. God bless you, canada.
No... never, never.
no but one day i would like to get a massage from a hot asian ,with happy ending
Don't freak out when you find out how many of them are actually in your town.
My ex fiance wasn't one, but certainly behaved like one.
im to fucking chicken and im sure theyll be fat pigs
All sex is prostitution at some level
I put some extra effort into fucking my GF over the weekend because she came over and spent two hours cleaning my kitchen.
Does that count?
i was a G.I. in s.e. asia and i traveled a lot south of the border, you bet your ass i did! and i'm clean as a whistle!
but here's the thing. in thailand, you would go to a bar, there would be a few women here or there having a beer. a few guys getting up the courage to ask a lady to dance. some people are dancing some talking.
you spot someone cute and ask them to dance. if she likes you you dance, invite her to your table and buy her a beer, do some more dancing (the world over, womens love to dance!), then ask her if she wants to go to a late dinner or grab some street food. take her home, get high, fuck, sleep, give her $5 and a kiss goodbye.
in the states, i'd find someone i wanted to ask out. i'd take her dining and dancing and maybe, MAYBE i'd get a kiss. maybe more but it was a whole thing - will she? won't she? wtf? ...well fuck all that.
i'd prefer a sure thing to a maybe...if i'm nice...if she feels it...if this...if that...FUCK OFF!
the moral of the lesson is ... um...
My oven's a little dirty, is your gf busy this weekend?
Not that I know of...
Nope. Or at least, not yet.