Pool Swirls

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by HaroldJackson, Oct 28, 2014.

  1. HaroldJackson

    HaroldJackson Well-Known Member

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    let you know your pump is working.
    [​IMG]

    Read it. I love this passage from Dr. Chlorine's "Long Swirl". I see these pools all over the country. “Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a a real beaut' Clark . Owning a sweet pool means you need a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2 to lounge around by it because Sweet Pools are above all refreshing when it's hot. Hot and sweltering. Cool Pools never get algae; they only swirl about crystal cleat water. Go ahead, swim in me, I don’t mind, I’m the Sweet Pool.

    Men actually think this pool exists. (I stopped here, no one is reading all this, or what it's spun off of and comparing, too much work.) Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)”
     
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  2. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    I love dropping the kids off at the pool
     
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  3. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

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    holy crap I just read that today.
     
  4. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    I like pool swirls that like threesomes and anal sex.
     
  5. freds

    freds you broke it VIP

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    i've seen a lot of swirl-off threads, but this one is the shits.
     
  6. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    the discarded tampon just swirls around