Post great puns here

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by A Succulent Chinese Meal, Sep 17, 2013.

  1. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

    Reputations:
    213,655
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2010
    Messages:
    49,749
    Likes Received:
    23,824
    Made this one up myself:

    When someone loses weight, they often become disguntled.
     
  2. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie Sultan of Sweat Gold

    Reputations:
    191,326
    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2010
    Messages:
    126,043
    Likes Received:
    24,887
    you should invest in a writer
     
  3. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292
    Did you hear about the fellow that fell into a lens grinding machine?

    He made a spectacle of himself. :fdrum:
     
  4. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

    Reputations:
    213,655
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2010
    Messages:
    49,749
    Likes Received:
    23,824
    I thought it was good. I'm no RoastWriter.
     
  5. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

    Reputations:
    213,655
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2010
    Messages:
    49,749
    Likes Received:
    23,824
    I knew a shoemaker who was miserable in his marriage. He said, "I will sell my SOLE to get a good wife!"
     
  6. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292
    Jokes about paraplegics are terrible.

    I can't stand them
     
  7. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292
    Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Because it's two tired.
     
  8. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292


    I used to be a baker, but I didn't make enough dough.​
     
  9. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292
    The sheep rustler who broke out of jail is now on the lam.
     
  10. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292


    Old schools never die, they just lose their principals.​
     
  11. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292
    Did you hear about the midget fortune teller who escaped from prison?

    He was a small medium at large.
     
  12. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

    Reputations:
    213,655
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2010
    Messages:
    49,749
    Likes Received:
    23,824
    Oh I love these!

    The quadriplegic's wife was really bossy, I mean, now there was a woman who pushed her husband around.
     
  13. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292
    If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
     
  14. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292


    When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.​
     
  15. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

    Reputations:
    -4,114
    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2010
    Messages:
    41,770
    Likes Received:
    1,481
    A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall....the police are looking into it.
     
  16. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292
    Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs? Because she mislaid them.
     
  17. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292
    It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
     
  18. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

    Reputations:
    213,655
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2010
    Messages:
    49,749
    Likes Received:
    23,824
    A pony with laryngitis is a little hoarse.
     
  19. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    212,162
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    36,254
    Likes Received:
    33,292
    When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
     
  20. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    104,905
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    52,097
    Likes Received:
    7,564
    this one was ok