Post your most intimidating sex toy

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by MilkyDischarge, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge The "Fuckin' cockroach infestation!" Gold

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  2. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP Gold

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    i can't: she's 5'2", chinese and will kill me.
     
  3. wensday

    wensday 4 Degrees Warmer

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    See avatar.
     
  4. Babs

    Babs Well-Known Member

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  5. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  6. Babs

    Babs Well-Known Member

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    I read that as intimate :facepalm:
     
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  7. Reggae Mistress

    Reggae Mistress Old Catcher's Mitt

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    I'm not intimidated by any sex toy :hhh:
     
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  8. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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  9. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Single VIP

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    "1)The night consisted of her coming over.
    2)We talked for about 10 minutes
    3)We took our clothes off. She had a horrible looking body.
    4)I kissed her for maybe 10 seconds.
    5)Sucker her tits for maybe a minute.
    6)I ate her out for about 10 minutes. She didnt smell bad but the odor was a little different. Not one I could stay there for hours, but certainly I think clean.
    7)She blew for about another 5 minutes or so and then quit. I was very hard.
    8)I stuck my dick in her and fucked her for a few minutes. My dick got rapidly softer.
    9)She tried jerking me off and I stuck it in again. I tried closing my eyes and imaging it was anyone else.
    10)I got even softer and looked like a turtle peeking out of its shell.
    11)She then said to try the strapon. She did bring a 6 inch thin one.
    12)She fucked me doggystyle. When it went in for the first minute or so it hurt like a bitch.
    13)After that, honestly it didnt feel bad, but I wasnt hard.
    14)She then fucked me missionary and my penis looked like it was in a bucket of ice water.

    15)We stopped. She changed. She said goodbye.


    That was the most horrendous, horrible, weird, uncomfortable feeling I ever had. The dildo was better than fucking that fat pig.
     
  10. Mur

    Mur WTF is this shit? Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  11. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie THE BEE BIT MY BOTTOM NOW MY BOTTOM BIG Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
  12. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP Gold

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    you are a sex toy
     
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  13. Reggae Mistress

    Reggae Mistress Old Catcher's Mitt

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    :cheer2:
     
  14. SorryBoff

    SorryBoff Well-Known Member

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    I think you meant "not safe for work"