Problem solved.

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by ClintDagger, Oct 28, 2015.

  1. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    I really tried to come up with a way not to make this Tl; dr, but I never shut up when I'm drunk. So if you want the detailed history behind all this, you can read it in the spoiler tag.

    But the short version is, I have a 10 month long relationship that I found out yesterday morning is going to end in less than a month. It is the girl’s decision, but we have decided to have fun for these last few weeks until she leaves and then we'll consider the relationship to be "on a break". Meanwhile, I have decided to start dating another girl. This is something I had decided to do before I found out the relationship was ending. My original plan was to tell the current girlfriend and say I don't want this relationship to progress to exclusivity and leave it up to her if she was cool with that. But now that we both know the relationship will be over soon I think it is better to keep the stuff with the new girl to myself rather than have a huge blow up. My friends tend to agree, but they're all guys. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

    I found out yesterday that I am now in a lame duck relationship. The girl that I have been dating for about 10 months has decided to temporarily move out of the States to be with a sick family member that doesn’t have long to live. This is a situation that I have been somewhat aware of but didn’t realize that her moving would be on the table. But, I understand why she’s doing it. We had a series of long talks yesterday about what this meant for her, and what it meant for us. Her ultimate goal is to move back to the Dallas area, she is highly valued at her job and they have allowed her to take an indefinite leave of absence so she has a job when she gets back. Unfortunately, this is a very open ended situation due to the prognosis. She could be gone 3 months; she could be gone 12 months--no way to predict as you can imagine. For probably the first 7 months of us dating, it was very casual. The last 3 months have trended to more serious with her actually staying at my place 3 or so nights a week. But, I would still say that we were caught in between the "having fun" stage and the "serious" stage. Also, we had not yet had had the talk about being exclusive, although we had really only been seeing each other since mid-July. After all the discussions, we ultimately decided to enjoy the time we have together, and then consider ourselves "on a break" until she gets back. She is taking a few weeks to wrap things up at work and get her affairs in order before she leaves, which looks like will be the week of Thanksgiving. If things line up and we are both available, we’ll see where it leads if and when she gets back. But she knows that there is no way I could just wait it out--so I give her credit for understanding that. We basically decided to not really talk about it further and just live out the next 3+ weeks as normal as possible.

    But, there is another shoe that dropped. I met a girl in Stillwater over the weekend that at the time I thought was just someone to hang out with, have fun, and enjoy the homecoming weekend with. Obviously the whole weekend took some strange turns, but in the end we had a lot of fun and have stayed in constant contact in the days since. We seem to have a lot in common and I am curious about where things could go with her. I am a season ticket holder at OSU and will be in Stillwater for 3 out of the next 5 weekends. Stillwater to Dallas isn’t that long of a trip, especially since with my job I can fly (or fly others) Southwest for free which cuts the trip down to probably right around 2 hours. With me going there a lot, her coming here some particularly over the holidays, there is reason to think we could see a lot of each other at least into January. So, I think at least a casual relationship with this girl is doable in the short term and it certainly seems she is very interested in trying. All through Sunday and Monday I struggled with what to do about the situation. I woke up yesterday deciding that I had to be honest with the current girlfriend and let her know that, while I would love to keep seeing her, I still want to keep things short of the "exclusive" tag. There’s no way I will be able to restrain myself from seeing this college girl when I go to Stillwater, so I thought being honest was the best approach. But with the situation changing so much yesterday, now I think I should just keep my mouth shut. Obviously, it is very self-serving to do so--I know. But it seems like really it is what would make her the happiest too. So, what is everyone’s opinion on this?
    Oh, and @zombiebutt this is what you've been waiting for.
     
  2. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

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    Do not tell the current gf. It will only make her pissed off and hurt and what would be the point of that? Who knows what might happen in the future? You might get back together but it won't happen if she knows you already had someone waiting in the wings.
    Telling her might ease your conscience but it will put a nail in the coffin of your relationship.
     
  3. Zelda

    Zelda Legit Boss

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    I didn't see this coming for sure. If you guys are going to part ways in 2 months, you might as well end it now, so you can puruse this other girl.
     
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  4. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

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    Ps-I didn't read the long version so I'm sure I missed major details. I'll do it now....
     
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  5. Just Me

    Just Me VIP Extreme Gold

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    Why bother telling her? She's leaving and you already wanted this other broad. When she gets back maybe she won't want you/you won't want her and maybe you'll be with the new broad still. Don't drink so much, this isn't a hard one.
     
  6. BethOsItchyHem

    BethOsItchyHem Well-Known Member

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    Why would you want the soon to be on hiatus to know about your new girl. Sounds like all you'd get out of that would be allot of drama, unless you think you can work it into a threesome. If so I say go for it.
     
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  7. larryluncg

    larryluncg Empty VIP Gold

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    What's he saying Robin?
     
  8. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    I should have added a poll, this going to be a split opinion I think.
     
  9. DinnerSocks

    DinnerSocks Well-Known Member

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    Which one is hotter?
     
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  10. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    Should have known you'd crash my party.
     
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  11. Zelda

    Zelda Legit Boss

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    From what I get from you from previous conversations. You really like her, but not enough to commit. Just end it now and not waste anyone's time or hurt anyone's feelings.
     
  12. !!!kaboom!!!

    !!!kaboom!!! Well-Known Member Banned User

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    If this were a TV show, she'd get off the plane at Heathrow and you'd be there with a bouquet of flowers.

    But it's not. I couldn't wade through the long version of your story, sorry, but I have been in a relationship where I had notice that the end was coming (we both were moving to different cities due to work).

    In a way, it is a lot of fun to be in a relationship that you know is going to end. It's like when you give notice at work but still have to show up for a few weeks. You can put your feet up on the desk, play Pong on the computer, etc. No serious decisions need to be made. No stress.

    I'd keep the two relationships going at the same time. Just because you are fooling around with a lame duck does not mean that you are jeopardizing any longterm potential with the new honey.

    It took me awhile to settle on my wife. I definitely had a few things going on for a good while with different women. You don't need to be exclusive right away.
     
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  13. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Keep your mouth shut, why go through that if you don't have to.
     
  14. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    Invite all involved to a nice dinner, go back to your place and have a few drinks.. and " Talk " it out..
     
  15. Phillip

    Phillip Well-Known Member VIP

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    Post more here and jerk off some guys in your e-gang.
     
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  16. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

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    Do you think she has more intense feelings for you than you have for her?
    I couldn't imagine being in an almost year long relationship and not being exclusive or in love with that person.
    Don't you know that it's different for girls?
     
  17. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    If you want to end things with the current woman, end it now---Lot's of shit can happen in the next month, like getting her knocked up
     
  18. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    Ya got any blow ? it will change the whole mood....:funny:
     
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  19. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    Too close to call. Very similar looking actually. The only discernible difference is age. In fact their names are one letter off from one another.
     
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  20. MISERABLE66

    MISERABLE66 Well-Known Member

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    Don't tell her. Just ride it out.
     
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