So I walked to a place to get breakfast this morning. No more than a half mile. I had a delicious breakfast of fried eggs, potatoes, bacon and toast with OJ and coffee. Just as I was draining the last of the coffee, I got that familiar rumbling feeling in my stomach. It didn't concern me because I was so close to my hotel. As I'm walking back, it keeps getting worse and worse. My sphincter felt like one of the dams on lake Pontchartrain during Hurricane Sandy. I shouldn't need to do kegels for a month. I'm sure that people seeing me walk could tell I was a guy trying to hold in a movement. I make it back to my hotel room with about a foot of turd sticking out. I had to make the decision. Put the Do Not Disturb sign out or not? Normally, it would be no decision. I'd put it out. I didn't want to miss the housekeeper cleaning my room though. I decided to test my fate and leave to sign off. If she'd have walked in a few minutes ago, it would have scarred her for life. The odor probably seeped under my door and into the hallway so she was warned before she made the fatal mistake.