Problem that only a person living in a hotel could have.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by gwartney, Nov 7, 2015.

  1. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? 2010 OG Gold

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    So I walked to a place to get breakfast this morning. No more than a half mile. I had a delicious breakfast of fried eggs, potatoes, bacon and toast with OJ and coffee.

    Just as I was draining the last of the coffee, I got that familiar rumbling feeling in my stomach. It didn't concern me because I was so close to my hotel. As I'm walking back, it keeps getting worse and worse. My sphincter felt like one of the dams on lake Pontchartrain during Hurricane Sandy. I shouldn't need to do kegels for a month. I'm sure that people seeing me walk could tell I was a guy trying to hold in a movement.

    I make it back to my hotel room with about a foot of turd sticking out. I had to make the decision. Put the Do Not Disturb sign out or not? Normally, it would be no decision. I'd put it out. I didn't want to miss the housekeeper cleaning my room though. I decided to test my fate and leave to sign off. If she'd have walked in a few minutes ago, it would have scarred her for life. The odor probably seeped under my door and into the hallway so she was warned before she made the fatal mistake.
     
  2. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ Well-Known Member 2010 OG Gold

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    Congrats on shitting your pants this early on a Saturday... you've done more before 10am than most people do all day
     
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  3. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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    Jesus Christ...whoa
     
  4. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? 2010 OG Gold

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    And I was about 45 minutes post shower when this took place. Now I'm tainted for the rest of the day.
     
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  5. VeeB

    VeeB I have a Full Member VIP

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    She's seen and smelled much worse, I can assure you.
     
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  6. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ Well-Known Member 2010 OG Gold

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    They have a 1 shower a day policy at that place? Where are you, china?
     
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  7. walterHwhite

    walterHwhite Heisenberg

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  8. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin One Man Four Banner Mafia 2010 OG POTY The Bar VIP Gold

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    Re shower, it's worth it.
     
  9. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Single VIP

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    51b471dc6b7e78495a5d908146e976ba.png 51b471dc6b7e78495a5d908146e976ba.png
     
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  10. geo

    geo Well-Known Member

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    only a guy would find this story newsworthy. :fil:
    let's talk coupons and fashion. :cheer:
     
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  11. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? 2010 OG Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? 2010 OG Gold

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    I don't want to miss the maid so I'm waiting. I don't have any social obligations today.
     
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  13. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ Well-Known Member 2010 OG Gold

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  14. geo

    geo Well-Known Member

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    pfffft, @Gwarn1 doesn't know the difference between herringbone and chevron. :golfclap:
     
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  15. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Single VIP

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    I get gas at one of them
     
  16. geo

    geo Well-Known Member

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    omg gtfo.

    [​IMG]
     
  17. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter 2010 OG Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  18. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Single VIP

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    Ok
     
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  19. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter 2010 OG Gold

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    That wouldn't have happened if you didn't drink and eat like an asshole IMO.:ucoffee:
     
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  20. zhukov

    zhukov Time Traveler VIP

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    eat a shit breakfast, get the shits

    or am I missing something?