Propose new bits for the show

Discussion in 'The Artie Lange Show' started by John, Jan 30, 2014.

  1. John

    John Member VIP

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    List new bits that you'd like to see on the show.

    Mine:

    Who has the most brain damage
    Ritchie and Bocchetti have their brains scanned to see who has the most brain damage.

    Online dating
    Online dating profiles are made using photos of the crew to see who gets hit on.

    Who's the serial killer
    Photos of Ritchie grimacing with a mullet and Bocchetti waking up in the morning are shown to people on the street. These people are then asked to guess who the serial killer is.

    Mike's DNA
    Artie secretly instructs the twins to give Mike some of their used clothing for him to give to his sisters off air. After around a week they are to ask for their clothes back. This is then brought up on air and the clothes are put under a black light to see if Mike pleasured himself with them.

    Tattoo remover
    Artie tells Bocchetti that he will pay for him to have his geisha and genie tattoos removed. The only catch is there has to be a camera in his face during the removal process.

    Marie and Liz show their bodies
    Various bits where the twins show off their bodies, something stupid like having them modeling clothes or showing Mike exercise moves.
     
  2. release

    release New Member

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    Can't top that list.

    Brain Damage: I honestly don't know who is more brain damaged between the two of them. Maybe an IQ test on top of this.

    DNA: His sister is about as fat as Artie, so I'm not sure if that will work. I think there's only one "sista" and two "bruddas" that live in the house... One sister moved away a long time ago and didn't come back.

    Marie and Liz bodies: Come on, Marie and Liz dressing in anything but jeans and 3 layers of homeless sweaters? There was literally one time one of them looked attractive (read: tried to look attractive) on the show in some kind of blue dress.

    The only thing I can think of adding is a "Bocchetti Vs. ___" Segment, where he is challenged by callers/comedians for the job of announcer. They can start by having Bocchetti read off the starting rosters for the Broncos and the Seahawks. Only to be repeatedly verbally assaulted by Rev Bob and Geno Bisconte every time he screws up a name.

    I'd also want to see how long it takes Bocchetti to pronounce "Ndamukong Suh". The caveat? He doesn't get paid until he successfully pronounces it.
     
  3. John

    John Member VIP

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    Twister
    Everyone plays a friendly game of Twister.

    I like the Bocchetti Vs. idea, whenever he feels that his position is in jeopardy he starts losing it. Just after starting this thread I remembered that his sister that came on the show had a double chin that rivaled his. One size fits all clothing then.

    I thought Liz was hot during her fight scene with Marie. I was trying to think of bits that they could be in that didn't involve their bodies and couldn't come up with much. Maybe they are magician's assistants for Artie as he cuts Bocchetti in half. "Art you can put me back together again right?"
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2014
  4. octex

    octex Well-Known Member

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    How about a fire Bocchetti, Ritchie, and the twins segment?
     
  5. Death Smack

    Death Smack Active Member

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    Bocchetti does heroin or Bocchetti does ecstasy
     
  6. release

    release New Member

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    Ah I forgot about that. Something is always sexy when two girls try to stab each other. Although, it did take them 2 hours to learn 5 scripted fight choreographed moves...

    Tight 5: I want to see another stand-up competition but this time between Dan and Bocchetti (perhaps the twins as well). With 2 or 3 regular guest comedians as impartial judges/hecklers. Norton would be good, maybe Attell and Gilbert if they are willing to do it. Although, it'll probably just serve to make me really miss Nick's acerbic wit.
     
  7. sexyfatfunny

    sexyfatfunny New Member

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    Bocchetti negotiates sex with a haggard old prostitute, see if he's the same bumbling three-quarter tard idiot he is talking to regular broads.
     
  8. Death Smack

    Death Smack Active Member

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    Fuck I miss Nick :( :grr:
     
  9. Rodney21a

    Rodney21a Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Brochette and the twins REFUSED to get hypnotized. Nothing is happening with these ass-hats.