News Russia aims to crack teleportation- think they'll do it?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MilkyDischarge, Jun 22, 2016.

  1. MilkyDischarge

    MilkyDischarge Proud Schtick POTY 2016 Gold

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    Russia aims to develop 'teleportation' in 20 years
    [​IMG]
    Star Trek
    22 JUNE 2016 • 7:45PM
    It’s a question that physicists, philosophers, and science fiction writers have pondered for decades: how to travel from one place to another without travelling through the space in between.

    Now a Kremlin-backed research program is seeking to make the teleportation technology behind Captain Kirk’s transporter a reality.

    A proposed multi-trillion pound strategic development program drawn up for Vladimir Putin would seek to develop teleportation by 2035.

    "It sounds fantastical today, but there have been successful experiments at Stanford at the molecular level," Alexander Galitsky, a prominent investor in the country's technology sector, told Russia's Kommersant daily on Wednesday. "Much of the tech we have today was drawn from science fiction films 20 years ago."

    The Star-Trek style target is listed in the National Technological Initiative, a state-sponsored strategic development plan designed pour investment into research and development sector in a number of key sectors.


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    Russia's President Vladimir Putin CREDIT: TASS
    The $2.1 trillion (£1.4 trillion) “road map” for development of the cybernetics market to 2035 also includes developing a Russian computer programming language, secure cybernetic communications, quantum computing, and neural interfaces (direct connections between computers and human brains), Kommersant reported.

    The goal is not as outlandish as it might seem.

    In 2014, scientists at Delft University of Technology in the Netherlands showed for the first time that it was possible to teleport information encoded into sub-atomic particles between two points three metres apartwith 100% reliability.

    While teleportation remains a remote prospect, experts believe significant progress in quantum computing and neural interfaces is likely in the next few decades.

    The program appears to be part of a new Kremlin drive to boost Russia’s IT sector and high-tech economy.

    Mr Putin heaped praise on Russia’s IT sector earlier this week when he met a team of programmers from St Petersburg state university who won the 2016 international “programming olympiad.”

    Russia has a talented programming community and a small but vibrant software sector that has produced several successful IT companies, including Yandex and Kaspersky Labs.

    Western governments also believe Russia has leveraged its computing talent to put together one of the most fearsome state-sponsored hacking and cyber-warfare programs on the planet.
     
  2. potroast

    potroast Well-Known Member

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    Brundle Flyski
     
  3. Duck My Sick

    Duck My Sick Well-Known Member

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    Regardless if they succeed or not (they won't), I'm looking forward to the trail and error videos that will eventually hit the internet.
     
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  4. Pitzarea

    Pitzarea Well-Known Member

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    Russian teleportation: Get hammered and black out in one place, wake up in another.
     
  5. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...better than being harassed at the airport.
     
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  6. Rescued Owl

    Rescued Owl VIP Extreme Gold

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    upload_2016-6-22_20-45-14.png
    Don't they already have it ?
    It's called you drink a bottle of cheap vodka and wake up somewhere you've never been before and have no memory of it.
    :dontknow:
     

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  7. ChuckZ

    ChuckZ Stay in bed, float up stream VIP

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  8. cg256

    cg256 Well-Known Member VIP

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    They're suicide machines!!!!

     
  9. binhphuocngu

    binhphuocngu Well-Known Member

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    So in the future, if I order a white russian I may actually get one. Maybe just a body part though. YIKES.
     
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  10. DogStar69

    DogStar69 Well-Known Member

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    The only thing they will be able to move from one place to another in 20 years is a text.
     
  11. Murcielago

    Murcielago Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

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    Sounds like the Russians are now borrowing some people from North Korea's propaganda bureau.
     
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  12. Tinman

    Tinman Well-Known Member

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    I hope they spend a few rubles on a good fly swatter.


    [​IMG]
    :hhh:
     
  13. Murcielago

    Murcielago Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

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    [​IMG]

    Things didn't go so well for Brundlefly
     
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  14. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

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    No.

    Did everyone forget 'The Fly' already?!! Jesus.
     
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  15. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun.

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  16. Stew Nod

    Stew Nod Well-Known Member Banned User

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    After the cold war it was revealed that like 10% of their ICBMs would have been accurate and made it to the US...so no...I think they are full of shit
     
  17. DuckDong

    DuckDong Well-Known Member

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    If this means easier transport of more Russian whores and strippers than they should set up a Gofundme
     
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  18. Rabid Dogman

    Rabid Dogman Well-Known Member

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    I was tempted to post a picture of a white dildo in reply to this post, but I restrained myself
     
  19. Gogol Boobdello

    Gogol Boobdello Well-Known Member

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  20. EnricoPalazzo

    EnricoPalazzo Smokeless Tenor Gold

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    Great. When they perfect it can we send back Yakov Smirnoff?