Russian scientist injects himself with "eternal-life" bacteria

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Shithead, Oct 1, 2015.

  1. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    He hasn't had the flu in 2 years, what a fuckin' accomplishment....I haven't had the flu since i was a kid


    So far, so good for scientist who injected himself with ‘eternal-life’ bacteria
    By Sophia Rosenbaum

    September 30, 2015 | 11:14am


    A Russian scientist is hoping his latest experiment brings him eternal life.

    Anatoli Brouchkov, who works at Moscow State University, injected himself with a 3.5 million-year-old bacteria that he thinks could be the key to making humans immortal.

    “I started to work longer, I’ve never had a flu for the last two years,” he told The Siberian Times.

    Brouchkov first tested the miracle juice on mice and fruit flies — finding that it made female mice no longer able to reproduce.

    Soon after, he decided to test it out on himself.

    He acknowledged that his lack of sickness wasn’t solely attributable to the injection and hopes that the bacteria will be a part of an upcoming clinical study to test its effects.

    “We have to work out how this bacteria prevents aging. I think this is the way this science should develop,” he said. “What is keeping that mechanism alive? And how can we use it for our own benefits?”
     
  2. Tipsey Russell

    Tipsey Russell VIP Extreme Gold

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    some liquid makes other mammals sterile and you decide to shoot yourself full of it

    so this guy's outta his fucking mind I figure
     
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  3. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

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    No, you don't understand the logic. If mice cannot reproduce, it clearly means that humans will live forever.

    Duh.
     
  4. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    Mice and Fruit flies , this should end well. :snicker:
     
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  5. DuckDong

    DuckDong Well-Known Member

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    So if it works

    He still is stuck in Russia for eternity sounds like hell
     
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  6. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

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    Do the math. He can invest his rubles in the bank at 5% interest per year. So far this year, the ruble is down 40%.

    So he gains 5% and he only loses 40%.

    If he lives forever, think of how much money he'll have!
     
  7. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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    [​IMG]
    so far so good!
     
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  8. RenchFries

    RenchFries Official Dawgshed Dutch representative Gold

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    Is there a way to follow this guy somewhere? This fascinates me.
     
  9. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig Banned User

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    Not a real scientist. Just a nut job.
     
  10. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    He'll probably turn into a zombie and start the zombie apocalypse.
     
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  11. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. PI Nate

    PI Nate Disenfranchised since 1984... Gold

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  13. guruhugz

    guruhugz Well-Known Member

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    wiggy is hoping dr agus knows the secret to live forever. agus will put his brain in a jar and laugh.
     
  14. TheSurvivingJesusTwin

    TheSurvivingJesusTwin Half as ubiquitous

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    That sounds just crazy enough to work!
     
  15. Rescued Owl

    Rescued Owl VIP Extreme Gold

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    Why do I get the feeling that this amazing bacteria can only be found at the bottom of a vodka bottle ?
     
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  16. The Snork

    The Snork VIP Extreme Gold

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  17. joemama

    joemama Well-Known Member

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  18. suckemnuckledus

    suckemnuckledus Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG] Swallow his jizzz and prove it!
     
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  19. hypo666

    hypo666 Well-Known Member

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    Sounds really sensible.... 3.5 million year old bacteria, couldn't contain anything that modern medicine couldn't have antibiotics for and couldn't be contagious? Personally I would put him in a secure room in a lab some place for at least a decade.

    And many people have periods of not getting flu for several years or more.
     
  20. Teabag

    Teabag ◬ High Sperm Count ◬ VIP

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    [​IMG]
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