Schmoopy's ass boil

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by LonghornJ, Oct 24, 2015.

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  1. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    Schmoopy has an ass boil. ITT we share encouraging thoughts in his time of struggle.
     
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  2. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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  3. ChuckZ

    ChuckZ My life is one big lazy day VIP

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    Would be a good name for a mult.
     
  4. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    Update this thread.:cmon:
     
  5. walleyeslayer2

    walleyeslayer2 Well-Known Member VIP

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    Here's what you need to do:

    1. Take a mild pain reliever to control the pain, and wipe the area with a antiseptic.
    2. Place a towel dampened with warm water onto the boil to hasten its ripening and to ease the pain. You'll know the boil is ready when you see a small opening at it's center with a yellow material protruding from it.
    3. Take a glass bottle with a round mouth big enough to surround your boil when placed over it. You can also try a glass or a jar.
    4. Burn a piece of paper and while it is still on fire, place it inside the bottle or glass and wait a few seconds before you put out so that the bottle is warm. Alternatively, you can stand the bottle in a pot of hot or warm water for a few minutes until it is warm.
    5. Immediately place the mouth of the bottle into the boil and press it against the skin. As it cools, the temperature difference will create a sucking effect and hold it there for a few minutes, which will pull the boil out.
    6. Clean the wound with clean water and antiseptic or a gentle anti-bacterial soap and bandage it.
    7. Repeat every three or four hours until the pus and dead skin is gone.
    When the procedure is done correctly, pus and dirty blood will be sucked up into the bottle, and your pain will be relieved.
     
  6. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    @Dave Matthews
     
  7. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  8. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Unknown Member VIP

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    Troubled Board Trickster Moopy. :nojj:
     
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  9. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    I think it popped last night. I tried to see it in the mirror:jj: and it looks like the head's off it, but it still really hurts.
     
  10. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    Round mouth :jj:
     
  11. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    I'M NOT A FUCKING TRICKSTER, GOAT PECKER!
     
  12. walleyeslayer2

    walleyeslayer2 Well-Known Member VIP

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  13. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    I wish I could tell you what OEJP wants me to do. Maybe I will once this is over with.:secret:
     
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  14. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    Give me some Norcos.
     
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  15. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    Hmm... He wants you to:

    Take a long walk off a short pier
    Make like Tom and Cruise

    No wait...

    Go fuck yourself
     
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  16. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    I'd probably have to take 10 of them at one time to feel anything.
     
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  17. JOHN DENVER

    JOHN DENVER floating around

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    :nojj:
     
  18. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    Schmippy isn't a trickster, but he sure as hell is a tease.:grad:
     
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  19. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    Fuck off, Ferry B!
     
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  20. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    I am seriously thinking about doing what I said in the other thread. Hanky still hasn't updated this thread.:mad:
     
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