WTF Sex story......gone wrong.

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Snort, Oct 3, 2016.

  1. Snort

    Snort Small in stature, not swift, not cunning. Gold

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    So... last night. Feeling good. My gf and I took a few xanax. Nice buzz. I put the moves on her and of course she can't resist.

    I lead her to the bedroom and take her clothes off and throw her down on the bed. Make out a little. I go down on her for a few minutes.

    It's time to do the deed. She's on her back, near the foot of the bed. I decide I wanna fuck her like that with me standing at the edge of the bed, her on her back.

    So I grab her legs and the sheets and pull her closer to the edge. Which usually would be fine.

    Not this time.

    Not only do I pull her over, but somehow I manage to pull the entire bed over. It's never moved before. Idk wtf happened.

    The wheel was directly lined up with my foot.

    All of a sudden I feel a TERRIBLE pain. Like somebody just hit my toes with a meat cleaver.

    I throw my gf to the side and she's like "ouch wtf are you doing?"

    I ignore her and tear my foot away and feel another awful pain.

    The wheel of the bed ran over one of my toes when the bed rolled and it was still on my toe when I tore it away.

    I look down and there's a puddle of blood. My gf runs for towels and gauze. Cleaned it up. The tip of my fourth toe is split like a snake's tongue. Nail is in half.

    So I had her wrap it (tightly) in gauze and tape it up.

    Hurts like a motherfucker today. Had to take a day off work. Getting socks and shoes on was an impossibility.

    Haven't looked at it yet today. I'm kind of afraid to unwrap it.

    Awful.
     
  2. Walygatr

    Walygatr VIP Extreme Gold

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    Wheels? Are you banging in a nursing home?
     
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  3. Nick Mondo

    Nick Mondo Well-Known Member

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    Awesome story! You should make a thread about it. :grad:
     
  4. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    You let a little thing like a mangled toe stop you? Pussy.
     
  5. BrulesRules

    BrulesRules Just grab 'em in the biscuits VIP Gold

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    Snort's sexual toe pain lulz drezzner :emperor: :jj:
     
  6. greenchiclets

    greenchiclets Well-Known Member

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    Pics of the girlfriend on her back or it didn't happen. :coffee:
     
  7. MorningSong13

    MorningSong13 Well-Known Member VIP

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  8. The Booey

    The Booey Well-Known Member

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    :giggle:
     
  9. Snort

    Snort Small in stature, not swift, not cunning. Gold

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    Jesus Christ man! There are some things you just don't talk about in public!
     
  10. Snort

    Snort Small in stature, not swift, not cunning. Gold

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    Got a bj. :yes:
     
  11. Slow

    Slow Well-Known Member Banned User

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    OP really hurt his toe kicking the tv after getting killed on halo. No female was present
     
  12. Divorce Chicken

    Divorce Chicken I've got angst in my pants

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    You should only copulate for procreation. :grad:
     
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  13. Donkeyboy2190

    Donkeyboy2190 Well-Known Member 2010 OG

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    You didn't make her blow you when she was on her knees fixing the toe???
     
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  14. Artie Laugh

    Artie Laugh **** VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
  15. Snort

    Snort Small in stature, not swift, not cunning. Gold

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    Still no "new" system. And it wouldn't be Halo :nono:
     
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  16. Thrasher-HD

    Thrasher-HD Well-Known Member

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    never happened
     
  17. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    :owned:
     
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  18. Big Bad Booey

    Big Bad Booey Well-Known Member

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  19. bdbx18

    bdbx18 Well-Known Member

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    Duh! One of the dawgshedders could have stood in for you while you get your foot fixed up.
     
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  20. Snort

    Snort Small in stature, not swift, not cunning. Gold

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    Oh.