Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Gomez, Jun 6, 2013.
I don't care what the Bible says, Ima commit spermicide
PAGING MATTHEW T!
I'm on an old computer at work, is that gif working?
i don't know
i guess if you weren't lusting in your heart, you wouldn't be fornicating or commiting adultery
also, the story of Onan is not about masturbation, but about Onan's failure to raise up a son in tribute to his dead brother, thereby propagating his dead brother's legacy and inheritance rights. oh, Onan is the story about "spilling his seed on the ground" in the bible. Onan pulled out. of his dead brother's wife. now his wife. by tradition.
maybe i should start over
dude he totally jacks off .... prolly on the Bible
nothing in the bible is remotely fappable
Old Testament has some banging of the handmaidens n shit.
Some kinda thing about thinking evil is as bad as doing it.
If that is true I am totally fucked.
well, true, some of the stories would make for good prOn
for instance, you have Jacob marrying one sister, then marrying the other sister, then banging the first sister's handmaiden, then banging the second sister's handmaiden, and having kids by all of them
if you know a thing to be good and do not do it, that also is counted as sin
we're all sinners = bad news
Jesus only saves sinners = good news
Venerable Scholar Of The Bible Father Guido Sarducci once explained that all sin is like a fine when you get to St. Peter, and if your fine is too high, you go to Hell instead of Heaven. Stealing a loaf of bread might= $10... rape= $1000... Murder= $10,000... Masturbation....= about 50 cents. But that can add up real fast!
I just had a disgusting realization: Gawd sees everything, right? So He WATCHES men jack off.....that is some sick mutherfuckin' shit buddy! :barf:
HeyZuess prolly squeezed off a few back in the day
Then licks it off?
You're allowed to flog yourself but then you have to self flagellate yourself afterwards.
Mary magdalen. The books the Catholics voted to not be in the new testament had her as Jesus's wife and pregnant with his son fleeing as he was crucified for his words. If she's hot enough for him.....
If you need to pump one out and the only thing handy is the bible, give this passage a shot
19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.[a]