So I am thinking of retiring in Florida...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MrAdamapple, Jan 22, 2016.

  1. MrAdamapple

    MrAdamapple Shit Mult Banned User

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    I am in mid 50's and live in Michigan. I am fucking tired of the cold. I am looking for somewhere where winters are mild, taxes are low, cost of living is low. Where can I find a decent 2 bedroom condo for say $300k and it is close to a park and I can walk to a bagel shop in the morning and ogle at decent looking babes? Sarasota area? Punta Gorda....or should I go and rent for a year before plopping down ?Any suggestions on retirement places? Doesn't have to be Florida, but has to have mild winters and low crime. My kid lives in Manhattan, so living near him is out.
     
  2. tHISisKiSSeL

    tHISisKiSSeL ♡❂❁❀♡ Gold

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    Low crime in Florida? I would aim for Arizona.
     
  3. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    Are Howard and Beth in Palm Beach right now escaping the particularly nasty weather?
     
  4. MrAdamapple

    MrAdamapple Shit Mult Banned User

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    That's my other choice but for some reason it doesn't excite the wife. I may have to put the foot down.
     
  5. YodaQuiversStern

    YodaQuiversStern Turn and face the strange

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    Not sure about costs, but I think downtown Ft Myers is a neat area. Pretty close to a bad area though.
     
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  6. YodaQuiversStern

    YodaQuiversStern Turn and face the strange

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    Sounds like my marriage. He'd prefer Arizona, I won't hear of moving out of east coast time (also no ocean... We're scuba divers! What is he thinking?!?)
     
  7. MrAdamapple

    MrAdamapple Shit Mult Banned User

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    Yeah. I will definitely have to look at the demographic map.
     
  8. playitagainfred

    playitagainfred Well-Known Member

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    St. Augustine. check it out. beautiful city. 45 or so minutes from Jacksonville. right on the atlantic.
     
  9. joyceface

    joyceface Queen of Everything VIP

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    you could find an awseome place in Floriduh for 300k go for it. Floriduh has a high crime rate though. and see the recent cape coral thread for all the bugs and critters here.
     
  10. isabella

    isabella VIP Extreme Gold

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    depends on whether you must be on the water or want to be on the east or west coast of florida. 300,000 for a 2 bedroom condo is fairly easy if you stay out of certain towns.

    i love it here and although there is crime, you learn to stay out of those areas, PLUS it's easy to buy a handgun. easy peasy.
     
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  11. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    Maybe I'll think differently when the time approaches but I cannot imagine moving permanently from a place I have laid down roots and have friends. What's the fun in retirement if you are going to hang our with other old farts who you have not other connection to beyond hating cold weather
     
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  12. Rescued Owl

    Rescued Owl VIP Extreme Gold

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    1) Buy a piece of property with a trailer already on it.
    2) Start a meth lab.
     
  13. Rockside7

    Rockside7 VIP Extreme Gold

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    Last edited: Jan 22, 2016
  14. YodaQuiversStern

    YodaQuiversStern Turn and face the strange

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  15. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

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    300k can get u a condo in all but the nicest places in FL depending on what you want specfically. central florida is a hell hole i would stay south east , ive lived all over and anything north of west palm, is full of rednecks and landwhales. man i remember sitting at bars in fort lauderdale and just wondering how every woman could be a ten and then i moved up to central FL and wondered how every woman could be ten...thousand pounds overweight
     
  16. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    You are 55. Wait the 10 years and buy a condo in Cuba
     
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  17. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    Prescott Arizona is perfect. Come visit. I've been here a little over two years now. There's no crime. Rentals and for sales to fit any budget. Super friendly people. Awesome scenery.
     
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  18. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    Honestly though, why not just pull up stakes and buy a condo on an Caribbean island with a passive native population. I bet that son would come to visit you every year
     
  19. Domo Cup

    Domo Cup Well-Known Member

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    I know what you are saying, but I suffer from "grass is greener syndrome". Funny how these threads pop up in the doldrums of winter. Spring is just around the corner.
     
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  20. Jake Dog

    Jake Dog Well-Known Member VIP

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    [​IMG]

    You can move to Del Boca Vista like the Seinfelds