So I am thinking of retiring in Florida...

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MrAdamapple, Jan 22, 2016.

  1. MrAdamapple

    MrAdamapple Shit Mult Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2015
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    388
    I am in mid 50's and live in Michigan. I am fucking tired of the cold. I am looking for somewhere where winters are mild, taxes are low, cost of living is low. Where can I find a decent 2 bedroom condo for say $300k and it is close to a park and I can walk to a bagel shop in the morning and ogle at decent looking babes? Sarasota area? Punta Gorda....or should I go and rent for a year before plopping down ?Any suggestions on retirement places? Doesn't have to be Florida, but has to have mild winters and low crime. My kid lives in Manhattan, so living near him is out.
     
  2. tHISisKiSSeL

    tHISisKiSSeL ♡❂❁❀♡ Gold

    Reputations:
    78,500
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    8,850
    Likes Received:
    7,434
    Low crime in Florida? I would aim for Arizona.
     
  3. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    16,894
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    26,629
    Likes Received:
    54,514
    Are Howard and Beth in Palm Beach right now escaping the particularly nasty weather?
     
  4. MrAdamapple

    MrAdamapple Shit Mult Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2015
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    388
    That's my other choice but for some reason it doesn't excite the wife. I may have to put the foot down.
     
  5. YodaQuiversStern

    YodaQuiversStern Turn and face the strange

    Reputations:
    15
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2015
    Messages:
    3,949
    Likes Received:
    8,801
    Not sure about costs, but I think downtown Ft Myers is a neat area. Pretty close to a bad area though.
     
    Rupert Pupkin and jcounce1 like this.
  6. YodaQuiversStern

    YodaQuiversStern Turn and face the strange

    Reputations:
    15
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2015
    Messages:
    3,949
    Likes Received:
    8,801
    Sounds like my marriage. He'd prefer Arizona, I won't hear of moving out of east coast time (also no ocean... We're scuba divers! What is he thinking?!?)
     
  7. MrAdamapple

    MrAdamapple Shit Mult Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2015
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    388
    Yeah. I will definitely have to look at the demographic map.
     
  8. playitagainfred

    playitagainfred Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    7,679
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    3,656
    Likes Received:
    7,534
    St. Augustine. check it out. beautiful city. 45 or so minutes from Jacksonville. right on the atlantic.
     
  9. joyceface

    joyceface Queen of Everything VIP

    Reputations:
    12
    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Messages:
    9,454
    Likes Received:
    9,110
    you could find an awseome place in Floriduh for 300k go for it. Floriduh has a high crime rate though. and see the recent cape coral thread for all the bugs and critters here.
     
  10. isabella

    isabella VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    8,762
    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2010
    Messages:
    15,094
    Likes Received:
    12,535
    depends on whether you must be on the water or want to be on the east or west coast of florida. 300,000 for a 2 bedroom condo is fairly easy if you stay out of certain towns.

    i love it here and although there is crime, you learn to stay out of those areas, PLUS it's easy to buy a handgun. easy peasy.
     
    RONNIE THE CLAW likes this.
  11. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    4,975
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,226
    Likes Received:
    4,758
    Maybe I'll think differently when the time approaches but I cannot imagine moving permanently from a place I have laid down roots and have friends. What's the fun in retirement if you are going to hang our with other old farts who you have not other connection to beyond hating cold weather
     
    RONNIE THE CLAW and Domo Cup like this.
  12. Rescued Owl

    Rescued Owl Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    23,386
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2014
    Messages:
    10,070
    Likes Received:
    30,353
    1) Buy a piece of property with a trailer already on it.
    2) Start a meth lab.
     
  13. Rockside7

    Rockside7 VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    118,583
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2014
    Messages:
    17,077
    Likes Received:
    33,226
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2016
  14. YodaQuiversStern

    YodaQuiversStern Turn and face the strange

    Reputations:
    15
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2015
    Messages:
    3,949
    Likes Received:
    8,801
  15. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    290
    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Messages:
    9,052
    Likes Received:
    15,549
    300k can get u a condo in all but the nicest places in FL depending on what you want specfically. central florida is a hell hole i would stay south east , ive lived all over and anything north of west palm, is full of rednecks and landwhales. man i remember sitting at bars in fort lauderdale and just wondering how every woman could be a ten and then i moved up to central FL and wondered how every woman could be ten...thousand pounds overweight
     
  16. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    4,975
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,226
    Likes Received:
    4,758
    You are 55. Wait the 10 years and buy a condo in Cuba
     
    Muffler, Jello Biafra, Onion and 3 others like this.
  17. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2014
    Messages:
    12,544
    Likes Received:
    16,657
    Prescott Arizona is perfect. Come visit. I've been here a little over two years now. There's no crime. Rentals and for sales to fit any budget. Super friendly people. Awesome scenery.
     
    1Vegasgirl, Birddog, SomerSky and 3 others like this.
  18. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    4,975
    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,226
    Likes Received:
    4,758
    Honestly though, why not just pull up stakes and buy a condo on an Caribbean island with a passive native population. I bet that son would come to visit you every year
     
  19. Domo Cup

    Domo Cup Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    9,212
    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2013
    Messages:
    3,589
    Likes Received:
    8,227
    I know what you are saying, but I suffer from "grass is greener syndrome". Funny how these threads pop up in the doldrums of winter. Spring is just around the corner.
     
    RONNIE THE CLAW likes this.
  20. Jake Dog

    Jake Dog Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    17,179
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    2,857
    Likes Received:
    3,319
    [​IMG]

    You can move to Del Boca Vista like the Seinfelds