So I went to my mothers grave today

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by LaserT, Feb 24, 2014.

  1. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    I was there earlier today. Mothers and fathers grave. I didn't know what to say when I was there....to tell you the truth.

    I played hockey in high school and wanted to play in the NHL. My mother didn't believe in that. "You won't make it, she said. You need a back up in life" But I played in college and made it. Playing in the AHL and getting a couple games on a call up. I know she just wanted me to be ok in life...I think.

    I now raise my little sister by myself(parents passed away), who's not so little anymore. I've fought and raised her since she was 12 and took my hockey money to make sure she's OK. But again, I didn't know what to say at the grave. How do you stand at a grave of people who gave birth to you and not know what to say? They never abused me. Is it just to not know what to say at my mothers grave...or my fathers? Maybe I'm just cold. Maybe I have just been under so much pressure from a young age. I don't blame anyone though deep down? I love my little sister with ALL my heart. I'd die for her. So I know I'm not cold.

    I loved playing in the league traveling(AHL), playing my ass off to make it big time...the big league. Which I did for a short time. An EXTREMELY very short time. Knee injury(caught in a zamboni door) took me out at a young age. When I laid against that board, all I thought was about my sister, as I could see and feel my knee destroyed under my skin. I swear, I thought about my sister. Like a knife twisting in my knee and cartilage...all I thought about. Kind of get mad that my parents were not alive, because my money and life were gone and so was my sisters backing in life. I just wish I could provide her with more. I have my apt in NY and a small home I rent out in NJ(doesn't make much for me) but I wish things turned out different and I could provide so much more in life to her. I'm so afraid to ask her if I haven't done enough in life for her. I really am. It's why I am writing this.

    I'm kind of just sitting at home thinking of things and as much as I work out and watch hockey on TV, I get mad that my lower body(knee) is gone. AND TRUST ME I KNOW, THERE'S A LOT OF MEN AND WOMEN GOING THROUGH WAY MORE SHIT ON HERE, so I mean NO DISRESPECT! Just hate sometimes that I get down on myself. I guess I'm just like everyone else. A person who's busted their ass and wanted more.:dontknow:




    *Give me any shit I deserve. I'll regret this and a girl friend post I posted here...I expect some shit HAHA! You know why? Because it makes me laugh. I love that I found this place in May last year. It has gotten me through so much shit in the last year that I have had to deal with and the threads and comments always make me laugh. That's what counts here, at least for me. Sorry for my shitty crying thread guys. Just wanted to talk to my Dawgers for a bit. A good place to outlet.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2014
  2. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    Hang in there dude
     
  3. robradharc

    robradharc New Member Banned User

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    Boring. Who is that chick in your aviator?

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    We make sacrifices in life for the people we love just like I'm sure your parents did for you. She just wanted you to be secure and have a job that makes money. That's how parents thought that you have to be a doctor or lawyer or you're not successful. Her thoughts were out of love.
     
  5. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

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    Hey everyone has their own shit to deal with. I'm going thru crap too. Just gotta hope it gets better! :)
     
  6. Phillipmcd

    Phillipmcd Active Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  7. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    No I know Pooh. This is NOT a sympathy post. Just wanted to talk or I guess.... write. I have friends but it's the only forum I have ever felt close to. That's all. Not looking for anything. Just wanted to talk. My sister asks me a lot, "Are you OK" and I try keep to myself, my emotions. So I just posted to let some things out. Sorry guys. Just sold a summer home in NJ my parents had so feeling some depression. Was just talking to Pembroke aboutt to today actually. Just got a call for it earlier. Not the first time with me making a shitty thread, Yes, I know I'm a downer. :snicker::snicker:



    BTW, I know anfkid and others go through WAY more than me EVER SINGLE DAY. I love them for that. I just wanted to write, that's all.
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2014
  8. Patron

    Patron Well-Known Member

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    WHAAAH!......Quit you're crying,pull up you're panties and act like a man
     
  9. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    People on suicide watch talk like that.....No joke
     
  10. check1

    check1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    I think it's pretty normal to not know what to say in that situation. You've had a pretty heavy time there.
    You seem like a great dude and things will fall into place with time.
    I've had some wild ups and downs over the past 10 years too. Not the same, but really extreme on both ends.
    Everything else would sound like a cliche, so that's all.
     
  11. robradharc

    robradharc New Member Banned User

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    LT. We all go through it. Parent deaths and broken legs, lost careers, and divorces are included in that. The pain is awful. It will take six months to stop feeling immediate pain. There is no way around it. Nothing anyone can say will reassure you except to find a hobby that distracts you. Time is the healer.
     
  12. Lou Skunt

    Lou Skunt ____________________ Banned User

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    Fuck you two faggots.
    :watchingyou:
     
  13. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    To answer your original question...when I visit my parents graves I don't say anything

    I reflect on good stuff....moms Sunday dinners, dad hitting me grounders in the street
     
  14. JJDealer

    JJDealer Well-Known Member

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    Does it really matter now what she thinks? You seem to have done right, taking in your sis and all. I'm a parent and all I hope for is my kids do not turn out to be assholes. Be respectful, work hard at what you do and live life. I have 4 kids from 21-10. So far so good. Basically all parents want is for you to be happy.
     
  15. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

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    You're not a downer at all-just being real!
     
  16. Lou Skunt

    Lou Skunt ____________________ Banned User

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    This is the right answer. There really isn't much you can say..."Hey, I'm doing the best I can with the situation I'm in." It would even be completely normal for you to be angry at your parents. My Dad has been gone for 5 years and I'm still pissed off that he died so young. I used to go to his grave regularly, but I haven't been in a while. I used to cry every time I went, but at some point I just realized that this is the way it's going to be and I have to do the best I can. He was a huge financial provider for my Mom obviously, but also my sister and her 2 kids(their dad is a shitty provider). His death put a huge financial load on me. Now they all look to me for help.

    It sounds like you are doing a pretty damn good job with your little sister. I'm proud of you man, just hang in there.
     
  17. stripes

    stripes Active Member Banned User

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    you almost made me feel guilty about not going to my moms grave who died when i was 4, but you cracked me the fuck up with your zamboni knee accident. :watchingyou:
     
  18. fuzzynuts

    fuzzynuts 99% Relevant

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    My mom died 5 years ago. It gets easier and the memories become more valuable. Hang in.
     
  19. robradharc

    robradharc New Member Banned User

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    Fuck you Lou!
     
  20. check1

    check1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    Obviously, you're out of memory...duh.