Solving a problem

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Chief2Kick, Jun 6, 2012.

  1. Chief2Kick

    Chief2Kick I'm all sixes & sevens & nines Staff Member

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    From Craiglists Rants & Raves

    My wife is a wonderful woman but one issue that has come up between us is the toilet seat. I normally am a very considerate man, thoughtful even. I have left the toilet seat up on occasion and she reacts as if it was an intentional act. As if I did it on purpose just to irritate her. I apologize because it is thoughtless. She gets really angry no matter.
    I have brought peace back to the master bathroom! Since we have a double vanity I just use her side as a urinal. Turn the water on and viola - no more complaints about the seat being up. I am a thoughtful considerate man. A problem solver. I hope she appreciates me.

    •Location: bathroom
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  2. Vyb

    Vyb serial chiller Gold

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    It's all PIPES! What's the DIFFERENCE?

    [​IMG]
     
  3. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    My wife bitches about it when I miss a little bit and hit the floor so now I piss in the shower.
     
  4. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

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    they do sell self closing seats
     
  5. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    Doesn't that kind of count as a win for the wife though?
     
  6. JWC

    JWC Well-Known Member

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    I bitch that she leaves it down all the time. I told her I'm going to piss on the seat if she keeps that shit up.
     
  7. Boss Ono

    Boss Ono New Member Banned User

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    I took the seat off and told her to hover.
     
  8. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker VIP

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    there is a simple solution, stop acting like a girl and use the other bathroom.

    that way she'll shut the fuck up and you'll get some peace.

    it's not that hard to figure out.
     
  9. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    Aint gonna happen with me. I'm the only male in the house. They are already assigned. At night I do step out on the back porch to relieve myself though.
     
  10. Boss Ono

    Boss Ono New Member Banned User

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    You shit off the porch railing like a pirate ship? Cool.
     
  11. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    I'd do it in the yard like a dog if I could do it as cleanly as they do.
     
  12. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    HOW IN THE FUCK CAN YOU MISS???? Damnit, it's a huge fucking target! :pissed:
     
  13. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    :jj: Said like someone whose had to clean up after a man. :jj:
     
  14. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

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    post coital blockage :coffee:
     
  15. Peau de Soie

    Peau de Soie Edit Button? Thanks LaserTilt!

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    Just be sure to always close both the seat AND the lid. Still drives 'em crazy. But it's the only fair thing for both sexes to do.
     
  16. gwartney

    gwartney Unafilliated Gold

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    Nope. That's what my wife wants. And, to be fair, I pretty much always do it.
     
  17. Slippy

    Slippy Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    4 of them at one point when my tenant was still here. I'm incredibly outnumbered in my house.

    :suicide:
     
  18. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

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    and men can stand to live in filth :hhh:
     
  19. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker VIP

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    you try standing up drunk and pissing into that little hole in the semi dark while taking a pull on a cold one. we're only human. sort of
     
  20. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker VIP

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    i take it back slippy. please don't try it. i forgot who i was talking to. :)