Someone On a British Airways Plane Took a Shit So Bad That It Had to Turn Around and Come Back Again

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by computer blue, Mar 18, 2015.

  1. computer blue

    computer blue Well-Known Member

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    Was either @Phan Neepack, @AnimalGod, or @Nikkerz on this flight?

    http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/some...irways-flight-had-to-turn-around-and-land-475
    A British Airways flight was forced to turn around and land over the weekend because somebody did a shit so bad the plane was essentially rendered useless. Imagine living your life in the knowledge that you once turded so appallingly that a 747-400 had to turn around and land. Your liquid shit bought a £360-million ($533-million) airplane juddering out of the sky. Imagine looking your loved ones in the face after that. Imagine hugging your mom. You couldn't. Your asshole is essentially a terrorist.

    Anyway, the BA flight from Heathrow to Dubai on Saturday had to turn around and flop back down again at Heathrow just 30 minutes into the seven-hour flight because somebody did a toilet crime.

    Hertsmere Tory councillor Abhishek Sachdev—who has clearly not heard the "he who smelt it, dealt it" directive—happened to be on the flight, and, as well as tweeting his response ("Insane! Our BA flight to Dubai returned back to Heathrow because of a smelly poo in the toilet! 15hrs until next flight... #britishairways") also spoke to the Daily Mail about the ordeal. Again: imagine making a smell so bad a Tory councillor talks to a national paper about it.

    "The pilot made an announcement requesting senior cabin crew, and we knew something was a bit odd," he said. "About 10 minutes later he said, 'You may have noticed there's a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets.'

    "He said it was liquid fecal excrement. Those are the words he used."

    Two things:

    i. The informed knowledge of the liquid state of the turd in question sort of suggests the pilot actually went and looked at the mess himself, and, in which case, did he hold his special pilot's hat over his nose?

    ii. This question always comes up when someone does a shit so appalling that it might as well not be human. We've all seen a bad shit. We've all been to a pub. We've all traveled on a bus at least once in our lives. Everybody in Britain, at some point, has had to piss at a train station. We've all lifted a toilet seat and, like Pandora's Box, stared into the abyss-like doom of someone else's medically inadvisable droppings. But the question is this: how, and more specifically why, is it possible to shit up and around the rim of a toilet and, side-question, how does one shit up a wall?

    Ask me to shit up a wall and I would not know where to start. If I was trying, I do not think I could shit along a vertical pane. But there are people out there who seem to manage it on the regular. Do they go to the doctor immediately after? When you "deposit" something so forcefully that it ricochets right back out again, do you go straight to A&E and say, like, "Hello, doctor, something is very wrong with me," or do you, like, try and walk it off? Also, why does this always happen in public toilets?

    Anyway, the flight was rescheduled for the next day, and British Airways made a statement saying, "We're very sorry for the discomfort to our customers," before providing everyone on the flight—including the rogue shitter, presumably, whoever they may be—with overnight hotel accommodation.

    Safe travels, rogue shitter. Peace be with your lower intestine.
     
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  2. Johnnykstaint

    Johnnykstaint VIP Extreme Gold

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    Im not kidding, that would be the culmination of a dream for me...the stuff of legends.
     
  3. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    He/she not only dominated the terlit, but an entire 747.
    :golfclap:
     
  4. Johnnykstaint

    Johnnykstaint VIP Extreme Gold

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    Seriously, that guy is like Walter Payton+Albert Einstein+Warren Buffet to me.
     
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  5. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    Did the mad shitter fess up?

    I suspect @BaddFunn
     
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  6. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

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    The culmination of a dream.
     
  7. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    This is why I get all agitated when I see people eating McDonalds or Burger King just before a flight. Pretty good chance of them dropping a liquid two before we reach the destination.
     
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  8. keywordpk

    keywordpk Perpetual Geek Gold

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    :rofl:
     
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  9. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    :pilot::ss::shitfan:
     
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  10. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    I find this insinuation offensive
     
  11. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    I make it a policy not to eat or drink anything on the day I fly, until I get to my destination .... I've never once dropped a deuce on a plane
     
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  12. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    I think they don't sit, they just run in, rip their pants off and blast. Someone posted a gif of a guy doing it in a parking garage.
     
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  13. Donkeyboy2190

    Donkeyboy2190 Never earned a dimes

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    Hell yeah. I'd unbutton my shirt and be the cock of the walk down the aisle.
     
  14. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    My husband flies all the time. He takes Immodium a half hour before departure, then every four hours till hes at the hotel. I think it turns to cement in your colon. You wont shit for two days.
     
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  15. SorryBoff

    SorryBoff Well-Known Member

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    I hope it was a married broad, she'd never be able to complain about her husband stinking up the bathroom or complaining about my smelly boots or how my truck has a funky smell to it, yeah well I never brought down a plane you cunt!

    Man, I'm really suppressing some anger I guess.
     
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  16. goldtopper

    goldtopper Well Known Heterosexual Gold

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    <<<<<<waiting for the shit .gifs
     
  17. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    They wouldn't allow Animal Blob on the human part of the plane. Maybe in the cargo hold.
     
  18. Maddux

    Maddux Well-Known Member VIP

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    The plane was "rendered useless". :backlol:
     
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  19. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    [​IMG]
     
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  20. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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