Something really strange happened today

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by garypagetwo, Jun 1, 2013.

  1. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo My Gun Is Numb VIP Gold

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    Two of my sisters are visiting me at the moment, and the one came just a few hours ago. She's just been a few weeks with my parents, and has with her a dvd of old stuff my dad had filmed of us almost 19 years ago.
    Here's the weird thing...

    So the clips are all of us as kids, like I said, 19 years ago. We like watching these clips and laughing at all the dumb things we did and said, and it's usually a really good time. I always cringe when i see myself, even though I'm just a kid, I still get embarrassed by some of the things I did. But it's just funny, I guess. So in one part, one of my younger sisters is having a birthday party, and there are tons of kids there. It's a noisy party with balloons, tons of food, parents running around helping the kids, etc. Suddenly, the tape cuts to me dressed as a clown, getting ready in a bedroom upstairs. I mean full clown costume with makeup and everything, and at this point I'm thinking "wtf is this". Then my sister who had the dvd with her goes "oh this part's really funny, you were going to do something but then you "shied out!""

    This struck me in a really weird way. Growing up, I had terrible social anxiety, and I've suffered a lot from it (without going into details). I think it's kept me from realizing my potential, and made me the mess I am today.

    Anyways, I start genuinely laughing and go "hahaha omg I can't watch this" before I dart into my room. Even though I'm still laughing a bit, I all of a sudden feel crushingly sadness, like I'm about to burst into tears. I was a kid in the clip, 5-6 years old, dressed up as a clown to be entertaining. But my shyness got in the way. Maybe it doesn't sound like anything, but it was really actually painful for me to see, and even to be reminded of. Thinking about it now, I feel terrible :( It pretty much sums up my entire life, and it hurt seeing such an early sign of it.

    I need a hug :(
     
  2. ChuckZ

    ChuckZ My life is one big lazy day VIP

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  3. zhukov

    zhukov Time Traveler VIP

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    :owned: by life
     
  4. Teeney

    Teeney My friends call me Lissette Gold

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    Did you have your date?
     
  5. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    Post pictures of your sisters
     
  6. Teeney

    Teeney My friends call me Lissette Gold

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    I think that is how John Wayne Gacy started
     
  7. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

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    I have a weed dealing wigger cousin whose parents have a tape of him singing "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic when he was a kid. :sarcastic:
     
  8. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    There are sisters?
     
  9. Guy LaDouche

    Guy LaDouche New Member

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    Are your sisters hot Gar?
     
  10. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Considering how feminine Gare looks, I bet his sisters are hot!
     
  11. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    tldr :dancin:
     
  12. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo My Gun Is Numb VIP Gold

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    This is totally different.
     
  13. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker

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    your pain makes me laugh, and laugh and :hat:
     
  14. gwartney

    gwartney Is there gas in the car? VIP

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    Have your sisters been walking around your place naked?
     
  15. mike25

    mike25 Active Member VIP

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    always the same emo kid shtick. i kid you not that before i clicked on the titled i guessed it would be some sad depressing pathetic shit.

    i guess your threads are still better than most even if it is fake .
     
  16. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo My Gun Is Numb VIP Gold

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    I'm looking for serious responses only. Please respect that.
     
  17. beatlejaws

    beatlejaws nowhere poster

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    sad clown
     
  18. garypagetwo

    garypagetwo My Gun Is Numb VIP Gold

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    I'm going to tell my mom about it tomorrow. Maybe she can shed some light on what happened to me growing up, and why I'm so fucked up today.
     
  19. Mr Sinister

    Mr Sinister Gold

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    i didnt read all that i have no comment
     
  20. Phillip

    Phillip Well-Known Member VIP

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    My guess is you're repressing a memory of your father diddling you while wearing the costume. I'm sure that creep filmed it as well.