Stern Limericks for a Slow Friday (You surely can do better than these!)

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by OV, Oct 24, 2014.

  1. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    A pelican of the homosexual variety
    Wanted acceptance from High Society
    So he went out and bought
    A transgendered escort
    Only adding to his closeted anxiety

    There was a gold digger named Beth
    Her marriage resulted in death
    To great radio as we knew it
    Into morning zoo - but we saw through it
    Now even that's breathing its last breath

    A failed model with wonky eyes
    Poor posture and thunder thighs
    Despite hubby's money
    Proved too much of a dummy
    To become anything but a (square) booby prize

    Howard Stern he never rests
    In his constant marble quests
    Turning a 5day habitual medium
    Into infrequently-heard tedium
    Boring the few left with the same has-been guests

    A big as a house Robin Quivers
    When it comes to nutrition delivers
    A cry to "eat right or die"
    One she doesn't personify
    Appearing closer to joining Joan Rivers

    Is this really the Howard we knew?
    Declaring beaver-sightings and BJs taboo?
    His idea of marital bliss is
    Strange girthy dicks in his missus
    While creating seminal goo

    Ben and Rae tried but they couldn't fix her
    "What do you expect from a dumb as nails shiksa?"
    So why get upset
    Knowing this is what you get
    When you buy a for-rent on demand cum-mixer?

    A faux model Monsoon labeled "Moose"
    Drinks to excess whenever let loose
    Whether taking a tumble
    Or cringe-worthy verbal stumble
    It stems back to a lack of man juice
     
    smichal, HooHoo, Goods and 14 others like this.
  2. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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    shirley I cant
     
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  3. Guacamole

    Guacamole Well-Known Member

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    These are genius! You really have quite a talent.
     
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  4. Divorce Chicken

    Divorce Chicken white punk on dope VIP

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    A berry faced flamer named Ralph
    Tried to jam Howie's bits in his mouth
    He got quite a scare with all that grey hair
    And ran screaming out of the house
     
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  5. Stern68

    Stern68 mult Banned User

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    Amazing Beth got up late today
    And with her kittens she did play
    A few tweets she decided to whore
    While most think she's just a bore
    At 5 to dinner she and Howard did go
    Then off to party with wine and blow
    She got a little too tipsy and she fell
    Her and the cats can go straight to hell
     
  6. BooeyBanana

    BooeyBanana Well-Known Member

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    There was once a man named Howard
    Who married twice and became a coward
    while working thrice a week
    this anorexic geek
    on life, he has totally soured
     
  7. Beer Chugger

    Beer Chugger Well-Known Member

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    Stern68 joined the shed
    Acted like a dick, it went to his head
    With no friends now and no position to support
    He hates Beth O, or so he purports
    Why won't he shut up and just go away
    His posts are so lame, he pretends to be gay
    I know the truth, it's plain to see
    That Stern68 is really Sally B

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2014
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  8. lilbuddy67

    lilbuddy67 A man with breath-taking anger management issues Banned User

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    Howard Stern denies it's a wig,
    and seemingly likes his cocks big.
    He's got bright shiny teeth
    Fucks Beth with a sheath
    and his sack looks like a dry little fig
     
    smichal, Caffeinated, OV and 2 others like this.
  9. RottenPlumHands

    RottenPlumHands Well-Known Member VIP

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    Beth is a cunt
    Who I'd like to punt
    Howard wears his wig
    Talks about cocks that are beer can big
    Uh...Beth is a cunt.

    Sorry, I ran out of steam...
     
  10. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Roses am red Violets be blue
    Robins a Ningress and Howards a Jew.
    OK, it's not a limerick.
     
  11. lilbuddy67

    lilbuddy67 A man with breath-taking anger management issues Banned User

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    The radio show once was gold
    but Howard then got to be old
    He gave up the bars
    to go hang with stars
    It's clear that the fans got rolled
     
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  12. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    Even Stern's most ardent backers
    Would concede the remaining wack packers
    With their contrived phony shtick
    Ain't today worth a lick
    With the passing of the last ack ack ackers
     
  13. lilbuddy67

    lilbuddy67 A man with breath-taking anger management issues Banned User

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    Quivers claimed to be one with health
    She ran a big race under stealth
    Claimed veggies were the answer
    but then came down with the cancer
    No cure can be found with her wealth
     
  14. lilbuddy67

    lilbuddy67 A man with breath-taking anger management issues Banned User

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    Beth thinks she once was a model
    But brown dicks is all she would coddle
    She fucked a coon of the dune
    Not knowing real soon
    would stroll in a wig with a wattle
     
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  15. Divorce Chicken

    Divorce Chicken white punk on dope VIP

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    An escort model named Beth
    Saw her career coming close to its death
    Bouncing on cocks, rimming dumb jocks
    Only kept her in cheaply made frocks

    Then one night at a party, she arrived there quite tardy
    And met her next turkey-necked mark
    She went back to his place
    Let him goo in her face
    Now she's swimming in jewelry and lace
     
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  16. Stern68

    Stern68 mult Banned User

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    Zena Buddysgirl is so lame
    All their mods are just the same
    Her c*nt is so dusty and dry
    No man would even try
    To get his pecker wet
    Who knows what he might get
    AIDS from a low viral load, maybe a sore
    From this dry w*ore.
     
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  17. Stern68

    Stern68 mult Banned User

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    Who is that ugly motherf*cker?
     
  18. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    For Alison Howard had little use
    She put up with the on air abuse
    Knowing her day would come
    To grab the the money and run
    And now laughs at her replacement Moose
     
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  19. rhoads80

    rhoads80 EVangeLIst

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    Performing live tonight in Madison Square Garden..Her big debut..Give a hand ladies and gentlemen, Please welcome..
    .
    Big Headed Beth and the Botox Barnacles. Wooooh!!! :drummin::freebird::guitar:

    Botox!
    Has takin my sight
    Takin my speech
    Lump on my forehead
    My Husbands a Fag
    As Thin as a Twig
    Wears a black Wig
    Left me with life in hell!!!
     
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  20. lilbuddy67

    lilbuddy67 A man with breath-taking anger management issues Banned User

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    Work gives Howard the blues
    And so does the lack of the cooz
    He loves nothing but money
    Has lost all his funny
    He wants to be King of the Jews
     
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