Storytime Thread!

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Mark Mayonnaise, Mar 21, 2013.

  1. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    315,701
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    177,191
    Likes Received:
    59,186
    In this thread we will tell stories about our lives and it will help us become closer and the forum won't be filled with so much hatred and vitriol.

    I'll go first. :sun:

    Yesterday my boss went to Arby's and he bought too much food so he was like HEY CHRIZA YOU WANT A HAM AND CHEESE SANDWICH and I was like YES DUH and I put out my hand for him to throw it to me and in mid-air the wrapper went flying off and I just had this sandwich flying at me and I was like WUT and I grabbed it and it was all SQUISH in my hand and melted cheese was all over my hand and my desk and the wall but I ate it anyway and everyone was all like LOL
     
  2. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    315,701
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    177,191
    Likes Received:
    59,186
    I would very much like to hear from Mario and Swayze, personally
     
  3. FOXXXONE

    FOXXXONE wut?

    Reputations:
    16,082
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    7,735
    Likes Received:
    3,102
    Young
    Drunk
    Pizza pocket thrown to me
    Cheese burned
    Still have burn scar on my stomach
     
  4. Thelonious Davis

    Thelonious Davis Magical negro.

    Reputations:
    57,561
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    22,278
    Likes Received:
    4,451
    I should be packing right now but I'm not
     
  5. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

    Reputations:
    428,725
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    30,311
    Likes Received:
    31,047
    Wow, I feel like we are soul mates! :wub:
     
  6. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    315,701
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    177,191
    Likes Received:
    59,186
    The fuck kinda story is that
     
  7. ChuckZ

    ChuckZ You're so pusillanimous, oh yea.

    Reputations:
    190,430
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    207,038
    Likes Received:
    39,978
    HAL dropped his chicken dinner
     
  8. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    315,701
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    177,191
    Likes Received:
    59,186
    You're not allowed to tell other posters' stories :nono:
     
  9. BrulesRules

    BrulesRules Just grab 'em in the biscuits

    Reputations:
    348,874
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2012
    Messages:
    133,608
    Likes Received:
    60,270
    One time in HS i got home and was really hungry and all we had was a big bag of frozen french toast sticks. I must have put 15 of those bad boys on a cookie sheet and baked them in the oven until they were nice and done. I smothered the margarine on all of them and I'm a huge fan of powdered sugar on my french toast sticks so i grabbed the jar off the counter and sprinkled powdered sugar all over them. Put some on a plate and took my first bite...FUCKKKKKKKK What I thought was powdered sugar was really flour and boy was I upset!
     
  10. Thelonious Davis

    Thelonious Davis Magical negro.

    Reputations:
    57,561
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    22,278
    Likes Received:
    4,451
    The beginning of one?
     
  11. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    315,701
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    177,191
    Likes Received:
    59,186
    :owned:
     
  12. FOXXXONE

    FOXXXONE wut?

    Reputations:
    16,082
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    7,735
    Likes Received:
    3,102
    I'm gonna steal your story and tell it as my own . Consider me your Peterman .
     
  13. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

    Reputations:
    428,725
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    30,311
    Likes Received:
    31,047
    I woke up a few hours ago and reheated left over pizza in my kick-ass toaster convection oven instead of the microwave as I usually do. I'll never not use the toaster oven for this task again. :toptip:
     
  14. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie Sultan of Sweat Gold

    Reputations:
    191,332
    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2010
    Messages:
    126,049
    Likes Received:
    24,889
    this one time I ordered a Double Big Mac and they gave me 5 patties on the burger
     
  15. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

    Reputations:
    121,809
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2012
    Messages:
    55,692
    Likes Received:
    3,708
    yeah, I got nothing.
     
  16. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    315,701
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    177,191
    Likes Received:
    59,186
    FINISH

    THE FUCKING STORY


    [​IMG]
     
  17. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    315,701
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    177,191
    Likes Received:
    59,186
    The fuck is a double Big Mac o_O
     
  18. wicked smaaaht

    wicked smaaaht New Member

    Reputations:
    34
    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2010
    Messages:
    42,235
    Likes Received:
    4
    I hate all of you. The end
     
  19. nserafini

    nserafini Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    3,385
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    5,260
    Likes Received:
    769
    When I was 11 I fought with my grandmother about doing something around the house. I called her a bitch and she got all butthurt. A few hours later my dad came home from work and found out. He chased me around the house with a plastic wiffle ball bat. He finally caught me because I hid behind a chair, which he tossed aside and dragged me out from by my hair. He beat the shit out of me for a good 10 minutes, with the bat only as to not leave a mark. I crawled away and cried like an 11 yr old boy for the rest of the day in my room. I plotted and schemed to fuck him up, but then I realized I was the asshole and deserved it.
     
  20. BrulesRules

    BrulesRules Just grab 'em in the biscuits

    Reputations:
    348,874
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2012
    Messages:
    133,608
    Likes Received:
    60,270
    There was also this one time I was really hungry so went to the McDonald's drive thru...I placed my order for the 10 piece nuggets, large fry, diet coke and a McDouble. I got up to the window to pay and handed the guy my Visa check card. He was all "Do you have cash??" in a thick spanish accent. Then I was all "sorry I only have my card". Turns out their credit card machine had just gone down that moment so he hands me my food and says "ok just take it"...then I was all :yes: