tell a joke thread

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by jobbey, Mar 28, 2012.

  1. jobbey

    jobbey Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    6,849
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2010
    Messages:
    8,409
    Likes Received:
    3,226
    heres mine

    how do chineese women name their children??






































    they take a bunch of post and pans and through them down the stairs.

    ((((ping))) ((((pong)))) ((((ching)))) (((ting))) (((tong)))
     
  2. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    167,505
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    215,282
    Likes Received:
    105,009
  3. tomtom

    tomtom Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    11,909
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Messages:
    21,442
    Likes Received:
    3,018
    Why do women have legs?






























    So they don't leave snail tracks when they walk
     
  4. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus!

    Reputations:
    27
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2011
    Messages:
    120,890
    Likes Received:
    24,051
    i know a joke!



















    JOBBEY!
     
  5. jobbey

    jobbey Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    6,849
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2010
    Messages:
    8,409
    Likes Received:
    3,226
    ((((ping))) ((((pong)))) ((((ching)))) (((ting))) (((tong)))
     
  6. Mark Mayonnaise

    Mark Mayonnaise You look like a tree! VIP

    Reputations:
    167,505
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2010
    Messages:
    215,282
    Likes Received:
    105,009
  7. Stevie

    Stevie Now go...Ohm.

    Reputations:
    3,131
    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    37,707
    Likes Received:
    5,117
    How did Hitler tie hizz sneakers..?









    In lil Nazis
     
  8. low selfestitle

    low selfestitle Moderator Staff Member

    Reputations:
    117
    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2010
    Messages:
    28,261
    Likes Received:
    687
    I thought the way you spelled "throw" was funny. :dontknow:
     
  9. nserafini

    nserafini Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    5,260
    Likes Received:
    769
    my refrigerator is running
     
  10. jobbey

    jobbey Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    6,849
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2010
    Messages:
    8,409
    Likes Received:
    3,226
    oops
     
  11. jobbey

    jobbey Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    6,849
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2010
    Messages:
    8,409
    Likes Received:
    3,226
    have heard whats on the back of vasoline jars??











    pictures of missing gay guys.
     
  12. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie THE BEE BIT MY BOTTOM NOW MY BOTTOM BIG Gold

    Reputations:
    5,444
    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2010
    Messages:
    128,305
    Likes Received:
    26,882
  13. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2011
    Messages:
    63,470
    Likes Received:
    9
    Jesus is at the Last Supper, and He has just told His disciples that one of them will betray Him.

    "Is it me, Lord?" asks Peter. "No, Peter, not you" says the Lord.

    "What about me, Lord? Is it I?" asks John. "No, John, not you" says the Lord.

    "Is it me, Lord?" asks Judas. Jesus says:"Is it me, Lord? Is it me, Lord? Is it me, Lord? Is it me, Lord?"
     
  14. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    8,134
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    23,220
    Likes Received:
    8,086
    The PONTIAC joke:

    Poor Old Nigga Thinks It's A Cadillac.
     
  15. jobbey

    jobbey Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    6,849
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2010
    Messages:
    8,409
    Likes Received:
    3,226
    Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."

    Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"

    Wife : "Those they gave away."

    Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."

    Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"

    Husband : "That's where they held the auction."
     
  16. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2011
    Messages:
    63,470
    Likes Received:
    9
    Old man and an old woman are destitute and decide the old woman has to whore herself out. She leaves one night and does not come back until two days later, and puts only $2.05 on the nightstand. The husband is visibly upset, but can only manage, "who gave you the five cents?"

    "everyone"
     
  17. jobbey

    jobbey Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    6,849
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2010
    Messages:
    8,409
    Likes Received:
    3,226
    A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

    'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

    She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

    So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

    Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"
     
  18. gilaet

    gilaet underwear warrior Staff Member

    Reputations:
    61,295
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    101,951
    Likes Received:
    38,662
  19. HeinousMark

    HeinousMark Creepy-Ass Cracka VIP

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    19,628
    Likes Received:
    3
    Why did OJ kill Nicole???





























    BECAUSE HE'S A Reggie!:c
     
  20. MatthewT

    MatthewT Awaiting The Rapture VIP

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2011
    Messages:
    63,470
    Likes Received:
    9
    Old man takes his wife to the doctor, but the doctor can't figure out if she has AIDS or Alzheimer's. So the Doc says, "Take your wife a couple miles away from your house, and if she finds her way back, fuck you HAL."