Tell Tater a Tale.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Mr. Potato Head, Nov 23, 2011.

  1. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    In this thread, I will read your funny life stories, clever anecdotes you have heard, perhaps some humorous but accurate wisdom passed down to you by your elders, or that you have passed down to your children. :dontknow:

    I will read these things and laugh. If I do not laugh, you screwed up! :grad:

    GO!

    [​IMG]
     
  2. tomtom

    tomtom Well-Known Member

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    Nov 10, 1984, Armored Saint, Whitesnake and Quiet Riot. I was a mere 17 years old and spent the day drinking. We started partying with 3 girls we met at a Denny's. To impress the girls I was chugging Captain Morgans after already drinking all day. Next thing you know I was kissing the best looking girl out of the three and that was something they were all three pretty. She seemed ready to get sick from drinking. I was trying to have sex and nothing was happening. Like a trooper I went south. As I was snacking away I passed out. I woke up hours later from my friend banging on the hotel door. I answered the door naked, she walks naked into the bathroom. He asked if I got some and I lied and told him yes. I was the cock of the walk at school that monday.


    Never told anyone I had whiskey dick and passed out on her pussy. True story, swear to god.
     
  3. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    :lol: Thank you good sir! I can honestly say, I myself have passed out during such an event. Multiple times. :facepalm:
     
  4. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    And it won't let me rep you. :facepalm:

    You will get it as soon as I am able! :salute:
     
  5. wicked smaaaht

    wicked smaaaht New Member

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    :bounce: rep? you should lose points for that madness!
     
  6. GHP

    GHP New Member Banned User

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    Ahhhh well.....when I was new in the film business I worked with a nice little Jewish director who was older, probably 65 or so, who had a second marriage and a baby who was around 2. I was intimidated and out of my league so I basically laid low and learned. Anyway this fucking little kid used to follow me around. So I was sitting on the curb and the director comes up to me and says "Oh how cute you are! How's my little baby!?" And I'm thinking wtf but I say "Oh I'm fine thanks," of course his little boy was standing right behind me. Then later the day was over and I'm sitting on the ground and he comes up and goes, "Awww, are you tired?" And I go, "Yeah that was a hard day," and sure enough he walks right past me and grabs his fucking baby. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die

    He had the grace to pretend he didn't hear me either time :p
     
  7. Partyxanimal

    Partyxanimal Well-Known Member

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    :jj:
     
  8. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

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    Gona give this a try.. Last winter my brother called me late one night and told me to come and get him at a wings joint as fast as I could, asked him what was wrong and he sounded desperate and said just leave now. I hauled ass his way and he kept calling me asking where I was still not telling what was wrong. I whip into the parking lot, call his cell and out he walks, bare footed, no shirt and his hair is wet. He gets in my truck, shakes the snow off his feet and says get me put of here. I Asked him what was going on and he said he was standing at the urinal when he tried to squeeze a fart out when all of a sudden shit shot up his back and down his legs filling his shoes and getting on the back of his head! He said he locked the door, threw away his shoe, socks and shirt. Then he washed his hair in the sink and called me. Guys were beating on the door to get in and he panicked and called me. I laughed so hard I couldn't breath!
     
  9. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    :lol: A two-fer! Twice in one day is classic. Should have put a bell on that kid, or given him tic-tacs™ like on Seinfeld.


    :hat:
     
  10. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

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    Sorry for the spelling, on my phone
     
  11. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    :lol: Oh that is fucking great! Poor bastard just lost ALL his game. (In Bubba video game voice)

    :hat:
     
  12. Partyxanimal

    Partyxanimal Well-Known Member

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    :jj:
     
  13. GHP

    GHP New Member Banned User

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    :jj:
     
  14. tomtom

    tomtom Well-Known Member

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    :giggle: The director wasn't Spielberg was it?
    How the hell does it shoot up to his head? :weird:


    :artiejj:
     
  15. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

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    Have no idea, but it did.
     
  16. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    I expect this thread to at least live through the holidays. :derp:

    There will be more tales of debauchery!! I will even post the ones I remember.:juggalo:
     
  17. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    Greatest. Story. Ever!
     
  18. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    It vas a gud one!
     
  19. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

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    Are we allowed to share more than 1?
     
  20. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    Absolutely! The more the merrier! :cheer: