"Thank the Seal" to replace "Jump the Shark"

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by ZeroZed, May 11, 2012.

  1. ZeroZed

    ZeroZed New Member

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    Beth's bizzaro account of the seal photoshoot was the most ridiculous story I think I've ever heard someone over the age of 7 ever tell. And the thing is--I'm convinced the whole thing is completely fabricated (like the dildo story) told in order to make Howard look real sensitive--a critical task if he's going to be accepted into the mainstream.

    Since it's a bullshit story, and since Beth's manic, incoherent appearance on Ellen made the whole thing fucking spectacular, I submit that from here on out we should replace all references to "Jump the Shark" with "Thank the Seal."

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Engaged Chicken

    Engaged Chicken VIP Extreme Gold

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    Oh! I love this! I'll start saying it today. Thank you. :D

    Thanking The Seal is the new jump the shark. Got it. :lmao:
     
  3. Howard Stork

    Howard Stork "Big Nosed and Jewish"

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    Better pic than Howie took, by far.


    [​IMG]
     
  4. j shmuck

    j shmuck Well-Known Member

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    Thats funny. Along these lines I also suggest

    "Tweeted the foot".

    To me that is even more embarrassing. A 58 yr old man approving a picture of his newly manicured foot being broadcast to the public. Howard's evasiveness and lack of explanation of the subject made it even worse.

    That being said, "Thanks the Seal" is a better match with "Jumped the shark"
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2012
  5. Popeye Saavedra

    Popeye Saavedra Well-Known Member

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    You need to go back further, here are a few...

    Divorced his wife
    Promoted Giftscriptions
    Sold the calendar
    Married the Horse
     
  6. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    Saw Beth Smile
     
  7. Popeye Saavedra

    Popeye Saavedra Well-Known Member

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    Oh one more...Turned into Imus
     
  8. Tinman

    Tinman Well-Known Member

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    The only mention of Howard and a seal on the Show comes 9 months before signing his new contract and a year before he files a law suit against SiriusXM....

    Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 03/08/10. 9:50am


    Howard talked about how he got started there and how he had told the people at XM that he would put them out of business if they didn't hire him. Howard said it all came to fruition just the way he said it would. Howard said that no one would have thought that they'd be where they are now. Howard said it doesn't matter what they call this company. He said they have 19 million subscribers and they have turned a profit. It's working and it will be successful. Howard said the game plan worked. He said that he told them that they'd win if they hired him and that's what happened. He said this final chapter in his career has been the most satisfying. He said if he wanted to he could go back to terrestrial and revive them too but he doesn't have the energy to fight the FCC anymore.


    Howard said he was on a beach this weekend and saw a seal out sunning himself. He said if he could sit on a beach and watch that every day of the rest of his life, he'd be happy. Howard said he finished his job there and he's ready to move on. He said that some people will go on to say that he's some kind of nut but that's not the case. He said that wherever they went they made the company a winner. He said that they had better do the right thing by you when you do something good for them. If they don't then you go back and screw them. He said that's what he did to CBS radio. He said he wants them to die. He said their profits are off by 53 percent.


    Howard said some of these companies don't want to treat you right even when you do good for them. Howard said he has kept his word. He said this company is spectacular now. He said that the merger happened because of his show. He said that he predicted that. He told ''a couple of people'' to remember that.

    http://www.marksfriggin.com/news10/3-8.htm

    :tzone:
     
  9. IlluminatiJones

    IlluminatiJones New Member

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    I like you, Popeye, but none of these, or any of the others mentioned after this, can hold a candle to "Thank the Seal". Please stop trying to outdo it; it can't be done.

    "Thank the Seal" it is.

    :thumbup:
     
  10. ZeroZed

    ZeroZed New Member

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  11. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

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    Fuck. I finally make this and now it changes. Back to the drawing board...


    [​IMG]
     
  12. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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    John Hein has already trademarked this and secured the domain name...

    Expect a call from The Blow Job King of Michigan State's lawyers soon!
     
  13. Roberticus

    Roberticus Well-Known Member

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    Love it. I would add the detail that it applies especially to humiliating, emasculating events (which are spun to be cool instead of shameful).
     
  14. telecaster

    telecaster Get Yer Ya Ya's Out

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    Steven Tyler really "thanked the seal" when he joined American Idol....is that the proper usage?
     
  15. AGT Blows

    AGT Blows Well-Known Member

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    Jim Florentine thanked the seal when he fucked the hippo.
     
  16. Pissed_on_Fan

    Pissed_on_Fan Well-Known Member

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    "Thanking the seal" is what happens after several years of repeatedly "jumping the shark"



    it might have staying power! :p
     
  17. harlock

    harlock ancora imparo Gold

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    Wiggy thanked the seal when he pissed on his fans.
     
  18. Shvoogie Button

    Shvoogie Button Member

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    Thanked the seal!

    bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
     
  19. BenBas

    BenBas Well-Known Member

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    Yep...I agree with OP...Beth does tell a story like a 7 year old....VERY animated...
    too much giggle-ing...she's soooooooo damn Happy being Mrs. Howard Stern :rolleye:
    any show she's on...within 2 seconds she MUST ANNOUNCE she's "married to THE Howard Stern" :cheer:
    Just once I wish she would wear regular clothes...those Party Dresses HAVE TO GO! IMO.... ( of course she wore ORANGE on Ellen...it's the NEW SUMMER COLOR...EVERYBODY is wearing ORANGE!!) :rolleye:

    I do think the Seal story is for real....so was the cute Walter the cat story...sitting with Howard looking out the window while he's on the computer....the Dildo Story?? not sure that sounded like a Sal or Benjy Bit ;)...it's the way she tells the story...it's like nails on a chalkboard....excruciating :eek:

    Because she's soooooo beautiful...It's a distraction!!

    I can't imagine Howard tolerating someone so "UP" and Sooooooo chatty! I know she's an "Angel"..all the good work she does...
    but Wow-we when she goes on these talk shows ....she sounds almost retarded :facepalm:
    NOBODY is THAT Happy!
    and I think we ALL KNOW by now who Beth Stern is married to....no need for her to announce it every freakin time she's on a talk show!

    thank you
    Peace & Love
     
  20. isabella

    isabella VIP Extreme Gold

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    :crazy2:
    howard thanked the seal even before this paranoid rant.