The 7 annoying people you’ll encounter at a rock concert

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by dawg, Sep 29, 2010.

  1. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    [​IMG]
    Everyone enjoys a good live show. There’s always a good time to be had when you get to check out a band you’ve wanted to see live at one of your local concert venues. However, there always seems to be certain people who will somehow manage to ruin the show for you. It never fails. These are seven of the types of annoying people you will definitely encounter at your local rock concert.


    7 The Fan Decked Out in Band Merchandise
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    Wearing the T-shirt of the band you’re going to see is never the cool thing to do. But this fan takes geeky band pride to an extreme by complementing the shirt with the beanie, the hoodie, and patches with the band logo sewn onto his skinny jeans. Look, just because they happen to sell shoelaces that say “I Heart Bono†doesn’t mean you have to buy them. We get it. You like the band. But there’s a fine line between loyal and psychotic and you’ve crossed it.



    6 The Girl Who Knows Way Too Much About Each Member of the Band
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    This girl chooses any moment when there isn’t any music playing to “educate†everyone around her with unnecessary information about the band. She always refers to each band member by his/her first name as if they’re her close personal friends. She’s constantly telling stories about each time she’s met the band without being aware that the band is currently seeking a restraining order against her.


    5 The Fat Sweaty Guy Who Always Manages To Find Your Arm
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    I don’t care where you chose to stand. Whether you’re up front, in the back, or smack dab in the middle… the fattest, sweatiest guy at the concert will manage to slime you. For some reason, unlike everyone else at the show, the fat guy likes to move through the crowd continuously, leaving his snail trail all over the disgusted concert-goers around him. This is why you can never go wrong by wearing a parka. Unless it has the name of the band on it (See #1).


    4 The Person Right Behind You Who Sings Every Single Song Off Key
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    This one never fails. No matter where you’re located, there will always be the person behind you who screams every single word of every single song at the top of their lungs. And they never sound any good. In fact, they usually sound like Gilbert Gottfried with strep throat yelling through a megaphone. Listen pal, just because Sting is on stage singing off key, doesn’t mean you’re allowed to do it too, okay? Cut it out.


    3 The Awkward First Timer
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    This person is awkward in every possible way. They feel out of place and aren’t sure if clapping, snapping, tapping their foot, or fist-bumping is appropriate concert behavior. So, they just rotate between the four, sometimes even doing a combination of them all. They’re so awkward, they manage to make Michael Cera look comfortable in his own skin, which says a lot.


    2 The Guy in the Fedora and Suspenders
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    I don’t care what band you’re going to see, there’s always that one guy sporting the fedora and suspenders combo. You could be at a Bone Thugs-N-Harmony concert and this guy will still be there snapping pictures with his hipster camera that he got for $49.95 at his local Urban Outfitters. However, he will never actually be satisfied with the band’s performance and will always be comparing them to the late Elliot Smith.


    1 The Two Guys Who Are “Too Cool†to Dance or Sing with the Music
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    These dudes are easy to pick out in the crowd. They stand perfectly in place the entire time, with their arms crossed as they nod their heads repeatedly. They’re often caught wearing sunglasses… even if the concert is taking place indoors… at night. They never have any girls around them, always travel in twos, and can sometimes be seen with their hands in their pockets as an alternative to the arm cross.
     
  2. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Gold

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  3. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    What about the drunken frat boys in the parking lot with the sleeveless shirts and visors who insist on playing long toss with a football and hitting everyone's cars and BBQ grills? Never been to a concert without seeing that.
     
  4. Scott

    Scott Masshole Staff Member

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    They usually have beer bellies and are very non athletic looking but for some reason feel the need to become John Elway and Dan Marino prior to seeing their favorite band.
     
  5. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Gold

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    What about the retards that mosh to the PA music?
    Fucking ponderous.
     
  6. deverrant

    deverrant VIP Extreme Gold

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    :rofl:

    This is like something from Maddox.
     
  7. Spazzmatazz

    Spazzmatazz Band Member Banned User

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    You neglected to mention the guy who gets too drunk to stand/walk, that is preparing for the Olympic Class Projectile Vomiting competition. :burp:

     
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  8. deverrant

    deverrant VIP Extreme Gold

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    That'd be ME.
     
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  9. ChuckZ

    ChuckZ You're so pusillanimous, oh yea.

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    I was at a concert where someone in front of me had a baby in diapers on his shoulders. :shitbricks:
     
  10. deverrant

    deverrant VIP Extreme Gold

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    Was it a cool baby or a suckey baby?
     
  11. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict VIP

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    You forgot my ex-wife.
     
  12. Spazzmatazz

    Spazzmatazz Band Member Banned User

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    I can relate. :idea: :hhh:
     
  13. MADCAT

    MADCAT New Member

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    Me :jj:
     
  14. JustAddWater

    JustAddWater Well-Known Member

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    Had someone stand on her chair the whole concert in front of us
    on the floor.
    I've encountered all of thee above too :right: hhhee hheee Sorta sucks doesn't it folks?
     
  15. Spazzmatazz

    Spazzmatazz Band Member Banned User

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  16. Atomic Wedgie

    Atomic Wedgie Crash Victim

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    Long ago I went to see the Pogues, and half way thru their set me and my friend noticed it kept getting wet around our feet. We just assumed somebody was spilling beer behind us. My friend noticed the back of his leg getting wet, spun around, and the guy behing us had his cock out and was taking a leak! Turns out this guy pretty much pissed all over us the entire show, but me and my friend had the last laugh. We beat the shit outta the guy and his friend.
     
  17. PullMyFinger

    PullMyFinger Hors d'oeuvre Addict VIP

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    Did you beat the piss outta him?
     
  18. Spazzmatazz

    Spazzmatazz Band Member Banned User

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    Hey, shit piss happens. Sometimes ass kickin's do too!