Will Howard ever agree to take the punishment? 10 years from now, when he’s off the radio, failed on television and desperate for attention? --- Howard Stern, you are the reason I got into comedy, and the reason I will never get plastic surgery. Look at yourself, your personality is only like the 5th most disgusting thing about you. But seriously Howard, you should be happy you’re ugly... at least now you know *for sure* Beth married you for your money. I’m just kidding, Beth is an amazing girl. And she’s very educated! Apparently, Ostrosky is polish for gold digging cunt. Howard, I heard a rumor... Is it true that the only reason Beth married you is because she wanted to be more famous than Seabiscuit? I’m just kidding, I do really admire that Beth has rescued so many unwanted animals. Most people stick to cats and dogs, but you’ve really gotta give her credit for starting with an ostrich. Seriously, if Beth loves adopting animals so much, why didn’t she start with that thing on your fucking head? What’s it like knowing that your hair is literally the funniest thing about you? I’m just kidding Howard, we all know your radio show has never been better. Bobo, King of all Blacks and Mariann from Brooklyn told me so. Howard, come on. What happened? You used to be the King of All Media. Now the media is bigger than your audience. And now you’re a judge on AGT, where you have surrounded yourself with sooo many talented people. Why didn’t you start 20 years ago? C’mon Howie. Your co-host is Robin Quivers, your producer is Gary Dell’Abate, and your joke writer is Benjy Bronk. Some jokes fucking write themselves.