The Howard Stern Movie Plot Experiment

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Beth143nacho, Jan 25, 2012.

  1. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Obviously, Private Parts was Howards first attempt at revisionist history. Fast Forward a few years and The History of Howard Stern makes its appearance. IMHO, these both failed.

    In this thread, use popular movie plots to compare and contrast teh Howard Stern Show. You may choose any time period and any movie which has a plot that most people may recognize...

    GO..

    My entry:

    The Wizard of Oz

    The First few jobs out of college finds dorothy in Kansas listening to her family. Suddenly, the tornado of fame comes along and transports the listeners to munchkinland where shortly after we meet the scarecrow the tin man and the lion. They all travel the yellow brick road in search of the Emerald City, where theyll meet the wizard , and eventually come across a poppy field where they happily dream for a while before they are somehow convinced by a voice in their head that they cannot stay there and must move on! Upon acknowledgement of this epiphany, they proceed to the Emerald City and finally meet the wizard, that promises them everything they wish, but only after slaying the wicked witch of the west. The brave adventurers perform daring feats and accomplish what he asks, only to return to the city and realize that he is a fraud.

    Starring:
    The listening Audience as Dorothy
    Howard Stern as Dorothys Family and The Wizard
    Robin Quivers as the Brainless Scarecrow
    Fred Norris as the Heartless Tin Man
    Gary Dell'Abate as the Courageless Lion
    WNNNNNNNNNBC as munchkinland
    K-Rock as the poppy field
    Sirius Sattelite Radio as The Emerald City
    Performance Bonus Threshholds as the wicked witch of the west

    Rated XXX due to graphic rape scenes involving howard and his fans

    Coming soon straight to DVD because nobody cares and the actress in the trailer is fucking annoying.

    Have Fun
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2012
  2. jake206

    jake206 Well-Known Member

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    Several million points for imagination I guess.
     
  3. Mr Ed

    Mr Ed Member

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    Casting quibble: Shouldn't Gary be the leader of the flying monkeys?
     
  4. KINGjoe

    KINGjoe New Member

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    Scarface:

    Howard starts out as a downtrodden immigrant boy (jew) looking for fame and power (DJ), he says fuck a lot and steps on his fans and screws them over on his climb to the top, marries a skanky coke whorse then gets "offed" by the very people he stepped on and screwed over....the end!
     
  5. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    nice!
     
  6. Mr Spigot

    Mr Spigot New Member

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    I'm thinking Roots, with Robin as Kunte Kinte.

    After getting anal in a bathroom (pixelate), Kunte is whisked off to Washington aboard the Amtrak slave train, where she then proceeds to Uncle Tom it up for the price of a horseless Mercedes carriage for plantation owner, and radio personality, Massa Stern. Her first compromise is to relinquish her tribal name, with all and sundry simply referring to her as Cunty. And sometimes fatty.

    Not content with owning fat humans, Massa Stern also sought to enslave not quite humans. The Booey, hobbled so that he couldn't crawl to seek employment elsewhere, was trained in the black art of how to answer phones (and not shit in cups) by the transvestite looking 'Missy' Norris. Missy's frequent visits to the local gym with the local simpleton (KC) results in him becoming an expert in cockfighting, earning him the nickname "Gay Chicken Eric."

    Things are going well until Lloyd Bridges (played by Daniel Carver), head of the KKK, starts harrassling Cunty. The team flee to New York. Then someone points out that next to Captain Buchwald Karmazin, chief allocator of marbles, the KKK isn't actually that bad. Ultimately it all just fizzles out in an unedifying downward spiral.

    Narrated by Bob Levy (as Ben Vereen).
     
  7. Tmmy Sirianni

    Tmmy Sirianni Active Member

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    I've never seen Human Centipede, nor do I want to, but aren't Howard's remaining listeners' ears now essentially sewn to his butt?
     
  8. Mr Spigot

    Mr Spigot New Member

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    Good point. You're not, by any chance, Lynn Stalmaster are you?
     
  9. HypocriteHowie

    HypocriteHowie Well-Known Member

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    Pretty Woman
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2015
  10. Cawn

    Cawn Active Member

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    He's still squatting on the biographical movie rights of Sam Kinison. Start there? Marginally more viewable than extrapolations of Howard Part II.
     
  11. Mr Ed

    Mr Ed Member

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    Nope, was in the Navy, not the Army. Loved his work for Rat Patrol, Rollerball, and The Right Stuff. Great casting.

    Funny, recently someone online thought I might be Steve Langford.