The latest douchbaggy thing to do

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Shithead, Jul 31, 2015.

  1. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    Why all the cool kids are bringing pee strips to bars
    By Doree Lewak

    July 31, 2015 | 3:05am

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    Alkaline diet devotee Chantelle Fraser never leaves home without her pH sticks — and even tests her dog’s alkaline levels.Photo: Anne Wermiel

    When you think of pissing contests, two elegant British women analyzing the pH of their urine doesn’t spring to mind. But that’s exactly how Chantelle Fraser and her bestie, Marie Darnborough, bond — and compete.

    “It gets addictive, but it’s fun,” says Fraser, 37, the founder of Flawless NYC, a talent-booking agency, who lives in Midtown East.

    “We always compare our urine — we’re both clear!” she says, before quickly noting, “But sometimes she’s a bit yellow.

    “My urine is so clear it’s probably drinkable!”

    Fraser and Darnborough are both devotees of the trendy alkaline diet.

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    Dieters test their alkaline levels by dipping these sticks into their saliva or their urine.Photo: Anne Wermiel

    Followers fixate on the color of their pee — clear is best — because it is said to be an essential indicator of the amount of acid in the body.

    The diet emphasizes fermented vegetables, most fruits, certain whole grains and tofu. Alkaline foods are easier for the digestive system to break down, so the vitamins and minerals they contain are more easily absorbed. As a result, dieters report higher levels of energy and less bloating.

    Banned foods include alcohol, coffee, soda, dairy, meat, pasta, starchy grains and refined sugar. They have high levels of acid and are harder to digest — supposedly producing more waste to linger in the body.

    “When you’re acidic, you’re toxic and a breeding ground [for germs],” says Fraser, who boasts of shedding 7 pounds in the past month thanks to her new diet. “This time next month, I’ll be a size 2!”

    Fraser is so obsessed with her pH level (somewhere around 7 is optimal — on a scale from zero to 14 — anything lower is too acidic and anything higher is too alkaline), she never leaves home without her pH strips, often subjecting friends, colleagues and even first dates to take the dreaded test. The strips change color after contact with urine and saliva, revealing pH results in a matter of seconds.


    Fanatics will test themselves daily, using kits from stores like Walmart and CVS for around $10 each.

    “A fun party is passing out strips — I’ll make them take the test in front of me,” says Fraser, star of Bravo reality show “Blood, Sweat & Heels.”

    “On a date, one guy was so embarrassed when his test came back acidic, he protested and demanded a retest.”

    Celeb fans of the diet include Kelly Ripa, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston and Elle Macpherson, who admits she packs pee strips every time she leaves the house, toting “a pH balance urine-tester kit to check that I’m in an alkaline state. I believe that most ailments come from having an acidic body,” she told the Evening Standard in April. (She’s also launched her own line of alkalizing supplements — the Super Elixir, in powder form, starts at $45.)



    But not so fast, says Rebecca Blake, senior director of clinical nutrition at Mount Sinai Beth Israel.

    “There are no published human studies focusing on the health benefits or risks related to the alkaline diet — I don’t recommend it to my patients,” Blake says. “I don’t know what they’re trying to accomplish. They say they’re trying to achieve an acid-alkaline balance for optimal organ function, but our bodies self-regulate. That’s why we have kidneys and lungs — to regulate the pH levels.”

    No matter, alkaline-friendly products are flying off the shelves at Westerly Natural Market in Midtown — from pH testing strips to alkaline water, said to neutralize acids in the bloodstream.

    “We get daily shipments of alkaline water, just continuous shipments to keep up with demand,” says Basi Ramlall, who works in sales at Westerly. “Every day, customers come in for the pH strips and the water. They buy boxes at a time of the strips and buy so much alkaline water that it’s too much to carry and they need it delivered.”

    Even restaurants are drinking the Kool-Aid, er, alkaline water.

    Mundo, a new continental restaurant in Long Island City, Queens, specializes in alkaline-friendly fare thanks to its $4,000 alkaline water machine.

    “We attract alkaline people,” says owner Jon Caner, an alkaline addict himself.

    The pricey Japanese purifier, which costs $4,000, looks like a commercial-grade coffee machine, but its iodizing process is said to enrich the mineral content and raise the anti-oxidant levels of tap water.

    Caner, 38, uses the water in everything that comes out of the kitchen and bar, right down to the ice cubes.

    “It’s our biggest thing. You don’t have to ask for it. Your tap water is our alkaline water,” he says of the 8.5 pH-level water served. “It cleans up your taste buds and detoxes you at the cellular level. This water is a game-changer for most people.”

    Patrons streaming in are also drawn to the alkaline-friendly dishes, high in anti-oxidants, including Mundo’s signature dish, Red Sonja, made with red lentils, cracked wheat, red pepper paste and sumac.

    Having converted “many, many friends,” Caner has been dubbed the “alkaline king” — and the proof is in the, um, toilet: “I like to see my clear urine.”

    Not surprising for a guy who never leaves home without his own personal alkaline-water machine. He schleps the $4,000 model — which he finances on a layaway plan — on vacations to Africa, Los Angeles and, of course, the Hamptons.

    Even professional athletes are pee-occupied.

    “I have days where it’s just completely clear — it’s an amazing place to be,” says Veronica Grey, a pro surfer living in Rockaway Beach, Queens. “When it’s clear, it’s such an empowering feeling. My friends think I’m living the dream.”

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    Jon Caner uses a $4,000 water purifier at his Long Island City restaurant Mundo, which is a favorite of alkaline dieters.Photo: Lorenzo Ciniglio

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    Egyptian artichokes with fava-bean puree is one of the “alkaline friendly” dishes at Mundo.Photo: Lorenzo Ciniglio

    Still, Grey can be self-flagellating if she’s having an off-day: “Anything else, it’s like, ‘What can I do to get back there?’ The darker it is, it’s like, ‘What am I doing wrong?’”

    On clear days, Grey reports a major energy boost and a youthful complexion that she attributes to her diet, which she started in February.

    “It reverses the aging process,” says the 41-year-old, who claims she frequently has to keep 21-year-old male suitors at bay. “When I go to a bar, I’m concerned they might not let me in or serve me!

    “Alkaline water kills anything and everything [germs and bacteria]. I’m willing to pay any price for it,” adds Grey, who chugs 10 gallons of alkaline water a month.

    And, as Fraser can attest, you don’t even need to be human to obsess over your pee.

    Fraser’s Westie, who regularly has her pH tested, yields better results than Fraser does: “She’s always deep purple [highly alkaline] — her name is Milkshake. But I won’t give her dairy.”
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  2. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    Ever sneeze when you're peeing? It makes me spray it all over the place.
     
  3. ScottBaiosPenis

    ScottBaiosPenis Well-Known Member

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    The ph of your urine changes due to the body regulating the blood ph level if your BLOOD ph changed you'd die toys is stupid as hell
     
    youthless, teehee and RONNIE THE CLAW like this.
  4. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie POTY The Bar VIP

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    Sup, faggot?
     
  5. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    Quit it
     
  6. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    People have too much free time.
     
  7. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    It's that rock and roll music that caused all this
     
    teehee likes this.
  8. Rodney21a

    Rodney21a Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Pop Medicine Gluten, Vegan, Bullshit .... LOL


    Keep it simple

    Don't be a greedy Pig

    Get some exercise


    Bathe ...
    Brush Your Teeth

    Wipe your ass
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2015
  9. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    Take care

    brush your hair

    :artiejj:
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew, blindbella and teehee like this.
  10. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie POTY The Bar VIP

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  11. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    Groovy :coffee:
     
    teehee likes this.
  12. Calloused Shins

    Calloused Shins Well-Known Member

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    Certainly not reading.... So chicks are pissing on each other finally? Good
     
    zutroy likes this.
  13. teehee

    teehee Friend Of The Friendless VIP

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    New Competition…My pee is clearer then your pee…Really….freaks..Imagine bragging about this.
     
  14. Lster

    Lster Well-Known Member VIP

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    [​IMG]
    You know this could be the key to good living with every doctor saying this is how you live to be 110 and I'd still eat all that shit on the left.

    Living on Garlic and Lemon Water? Fuck that shit!
     
  15. MrWarmth

    MrWarmth ADORABLE DEPLORABLE Gold

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    And beets. I'd rather eat fungus.
     
  16. boognishstern

    boognishstern Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  17. AmishGirl

    AmishGirl Well-Known Member VIP

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    Give me cheese or give me death [​IMG]
     
  18. artful dodger

    artful dodger Well-Known Member

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    cheese, coffee, shellfish and eggs are some of the best foods for health these people don't know anything
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.
  19. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP Gold

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    Is that a hint for us Dawgies?
     
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  20. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    No, spending time goofing on Howard and Beth is Quality time. LOL!
     
    Dorb likes this.