http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-insane-versions-famous-films-youll-wish-we-got-instead/ read a cracked.com article this morning that kinda ripped on the wig (see #4) which led to this old but interesting link. The Lost Roles of Howard Stern by Bradford Evans | February 9th, 2012 You saw him this past weekend in a Super Bowl commercial, mocking the heroes of the civil rights movement by turning a firehose on a guy singing a bad version of a bad Maroon 5 song. Howard Stern is a beloved broadcaster, the self-proclaimed King of All Media, and yes, America's Got Talent's newest judge. We've all seen the directions his unpredictable and highly-successful career has gone, so let's turn our attention to the paths Stern almost took in the entertainment industry by examining all of the TV and movie projects he's turned down, wanted to be a part of but couldn't, and the stuff that never saw the light of day. Throughout his career, Stern has been involved in or been close to being involved in a whole slew of intriguing projects, including superhero movies starring both Batman and Fartman, his unaired late night talk show, and the animated series that would have seen Michael Cera voicing a young Howard Stern. Hosting a late night talk show on Fox (1987) After Joan Rivers's disastrous late night show on Fox imploded, the network was eyeing Howard Stern to replace her. Stern filmed five one-hour pilots, each using the title The Howard Stern Show, but the network passed on the show and wouldn't make another attempt at entering the late night battleground until giving Chevy Chase a talk show in 1993. Fox has always had a weak record with late night, and although it would have been hard for Howard Stern to have done worse than Chevy Chase or Joan Rivers, challenging Johnny Carson never really paid off for anybody. Robocop (1987) Stern was offered an unspecified part in Robocop, but he turned it down, saying on the air that the movie looked stupid. After seeing the film, though, he publicly discussed how much he liked it. The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990) The role: Johnny Crunch Who got it: Gilbert Gottfried Andrew Dice Clay was a frequent guest on Howard Stern’s radio show and he got Stern an audition for the first (and last) movie in which the Diceman ever starred. The director of Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Renny Harlin, opted for Gilbert Gottfried instead to play Johnny Crunch, a radio host in the film, drawing Howard Stern’s ire. The Adventures of Fartman (unproduced, in development circa 1992) The role:Fartman At the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards, Howard Stern appeared on stage as the character Fartman, a superhero whose extreme flatulence makes him fly. It was a character that originated in the pages of National Lampoon, but Stern expanded and developed Fartman on his radio show. Stern was planning on starring in a movie based on the character. J.F. Lawton (Pretty Woman, Under Siege) wrote the script to The Adventures of Fartman and New Line Cinema had verbally agreed to make the film, which was targeted for release in summer of 1993, but the project fell apart over script problems, Stern's unwillingness to grant the studio's wishes by making the movie PG-13, and a disagreement over merchandising rights. Howard Stern ended up making Private Parts as his first movie instead of Fartman, but he resurrected the project in 1999, claiming that multiple studios were interested, only to abandon it once more in favor of focusing on developing TV series. Sam Kinison biopic (unproduced, in development mid-90s) Producer Howard Stern bought the movie rights to Brother Sam, the Sam Kinison biography by Bill Kinison and Steve Delson. Stern was a big fan of Kinison’s comedy, at one point calling him "one of our generation's greatest comics." Kinison was a frequent guest on his show, and the two even had an on-air feud that they squelched relatively quickly. Stern's Sam Kinison movie never got off the ground, and he no longer holds the movie rights to Sam Kinison’s life story. The most recent news on the Sam Kinison biopic front is that director Tom Shadyac owns the rights and was set to direct a version for HBO in 2008, with Dan Fogler playing Kinison. Fogler's impressive screen test was uploaded online, but Shadyac's version of the project is also not coming together easily. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) The role: Barry Sims Who got it: Leo Geter Howard Stern was offered the part of DJ Barry Simms in this, the sixth installment of the Halloween franchise. Halloween VI, which also starred a young Paul Rudd, was a big failure and could have tarnished Stern's career if he had been involved. Stern would make his cinematic debut a couple of years later in Private Parts, but having a flop like this under his belt at that point might have made it tougher to get his own movie financed later on. Jane (unproduced, in development 1997) Stern signed on to star opposite Melanie Griffith in this independent film that would have been his follow-up to Private Parts. The movie ran into financing difficulties and Stern sued the production company for the $1.5 million he was promised to make the film, but he ended up settling for a $50,000 settlement. Dirty Work (1998) The role:The Devil Who got it: Adam Sandler Although it's only a tiny part in the Norm Macdonald movie Dirty Work, the role of the devil was offered to Howard Stern before Macdonald went to Macdonald's SNL co-star Adam Sandler. Stern's future sidekick Artie Lange also starred in Dirty Work and Norm Macdonald and director Bob Saget were frequent guests on the radio show, so this would have been a nice opportunity for Stern to work with his friends. This was a blink-and-you-miss-it role though, so I'm guessing Howard Stern wasn't beating himself up over letting this one slip through his fingers.